Local man Martin Shuttlecock, currently malingering and drinking more beer than can possibly be good for him while the World Cup's on, decided to conduct an experiment last night, ahead of England's crucial World Cup clash with the mighty Slovenia.
Area 52, AZ -- Not content with arresting residents for driving while Mexican, the State of Arizona announced recently that it had enacted a cat leash law requiring all cats to be kept on a very short leash. "For too long cats have been allowed to...
The Paris Institute of Science and Baloney have completed a twenty-year study into women's fertility and concluded that cats make women infertile. "In our study," said Eyam Bonquers, lead biologist in the study, "we see a definite correlation betw...
Top TV dog whisperer Cesar Millan yesterday admitted to animal rights campaigners that he stalked and chased cats throughout California for many years before being forced to seek help from human psychologists. The tight-shirted Cesar Millan who ha...
Providence, RI - Sir Wiggims, the 12-pound Persian who belongs to Sherry and Gordon Foster is not any ordinary house cat. In fact, most who see him in action wonder if he is indeed a dog in cat's clothing. That's because Wiggims behaves nothing like...
Noted idiot and satirist Skoob1999 confirmed today that his well regarded cat, Scrappy The Psycho Killer has announced that she's off. She says she wants nothing to do with TheSpoof.com any more, and that she intends to write amusing pieces for a riv...
Susan Boyle's pet cat Pebbles (or PeBo as fanatics insist) was spotted earlier driving the number 29 bus in central London. Pebbles moved to London last year after SuBo set off on her international travels hotly pursued by red scarf wearing wealthy f...
Lady Gaga was seen yesterday with yet another bizarre outfit as she arrived at a dance studio in Los Angeles, wearing a bizarre black bodysuit and funeral veil. Some people were calling her the Lady in Black, instead of the Lady in Red, in the famous...
I like animals, I really do. But I don't believe in getting all sentimental about them. As an avid consumer of beef, lamb, chicken, pork etc - I just think it would be a bit hypocritical to pretend to be an animal 'lover.' But then I don't think animals should be caged either. A python or a rabbit or whatever looks far better in its natural environment than behind bars or glass. A bird looks be...
Yes, the headline says it all. My wife's cats deserve to die. Just like mass murderers like Saddaam, just like pedophile rapists like Polanski, just like cult leader scum like Jim Johnson, these cats have no saving graces or redeemable qualities. It was them I was thinking about when I wrote my story on How to Skin a Cat. It was them that I wrote about when I shared this experience. My wi...
Sexy model Kim Kardashian found herself at the centre of another storm in a D-cup yesterday after holding a kitten up in the air by the scruff of the neck for a photo shoot. The treatment was branded as 'cruel and unusual' by activists, but Ms Kar...
Cillian Murphy known to his friends as Silly is really concerned after hearing Miaow Miaow is to be banned. He just happened to catch the headline in a newspaper and now he is wondering what he is going to do about his cats Pat and Mick. "Cats...
A cat from a small town in Wiltshire is the first feline in Britain to receive an ASBO. Scratcher the Tabby from Wootten Bassett, who was recently awarded a Victoria Cross for bravery in Afghanistan, has become such a menace to the local community...
Boris, a 16 pound tabby from Eugene, Oregon, has caught and eaten dozens of song birds over the last nine years. During the last few years his meow has changed from a gruff kitty to a melodious meow with notes and cadence similar to the Western M...
An eight year old tabby cat from Wootten Bassett has today been awarded the animal equivalent of the Victoria Cross for his heroic work in Afghanistan. Scratcher the cat was presented with his medal by his owner Gladys Francis in an emotional cere...
Cats come in many sizes. Big, small, slighter bigger than small, slighter smaller than big, fat ones, skinny ones, ones with lots of hair, ones with no hair, ones with hair in places that they really shouldn't have hair in, and so forth. Cats have been known to meeeeow. On several occasions I have heard this distinctive sound emanating from the frontal section of said animal's body (generally r...
It was a dark and stormy night, Roger Federer's wife had just put their baby down after a late night feeding. Roger was walking through the living room of their Melbourne time share in the dark when he felt something furry under his foot. A loud yowl...
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