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Funny story: Pope's 5 Year No-Divorce Guarantee for Catholic Weddings

Pope's 5 Year No-Divorce Guarantee for Catholic Weddings

The Pope shocked the world's religious organisations, when he announced, yesterday, that he was offering a 5 year 'no divorce' warranty on all new marriages in his Catholic churches. This desperate move comes as figures are published to suggest th...

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Funny story: Letterman To Have Roman Polanski As Guest

Letterman To Have Roman Polanski As Guest

CBS has announced that if Roman Polanski is sent to the United States for trial, he has signed a deal to appear on their Late Show with David Letterman. The two will discuss which women are hotter, the experienced or the youngsters. Also, why w...

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Funny story: Roman Polanski Rape Comedy Set For Xmas Release

Roman Polanski Rape Comedy Set For Xmas Release

Good news for devotees of noted locked-up film director Roman Polanski as his latest movie is set for a December release. It's a comedy based around a rape, and is somewhat autobiographical in concept. Polanski remains in protective police custody...

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Funny story: Roman Polanski Faces Extradition To Germany For 'Unfinished Nazi Business'

Roman Polanski Faces Extradition To Germany For 'Unfinished Nazi Business'

Factions within Germany have claimed that the film director Roman Polanski should not be allowed to be extradited from Switzerland to the USA, but should, instead, be extradited to Germany, where some 'unfinished business' dating from 1943 remains un...

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Funny story: Roman Polanski To Wed Samantha Geimer After 32-Year Engagement

Roman Polanski To Wed Samantha Geimer After 32-Year Engagement

In a story that will no doubt warm the cockles of every reader's heart, Roman Polanski, the film director and weirdo, has gone down on one knee to Samantha Geimer - his childhood rape victim - just as she went down on one knee to him in 1977. The...

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Funny story: Roman Polanski Is A Pussycat Claims Former Sister-In-Law

Roman Polanski Is A Pussycat Claims Former Sister-In-Law

The sister of the late Sharon Tate, Debra Tate says that Roman Polanski is a pussycat. "Especially when you compare him with say, Charles Manson." Roman would never ever in a million years order people to be killed or look at you like Charles...

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Funny story: Roman Polanski: Real Reason for Arrest

Roman Polanski: Real Reason for Arrest

Zurich Chief Prosecutor, Bratwurst Zwiebel, has revealed the real reason for the arrest of film director Roman Polanski. He said that a woman reported to the Swiss police that an adult man had sex with her 13-year-old daughter Rosemary and that th...

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Funny story: Roman Polaxski receives lifetime outstanding award for "Bedding" a 13 year old and being on the run ever since

Roman Polaxski receives lifetime outstanding award for "Bedding" a 13 year old and being on the run ever since

Roman Polaxski, better known as Rosemary's Baby's daughter's rapist, was given a lifetime award for outstanding achievements in Switzerland yesterday. The prize awarded is in honour of his lifetime achievement as being the US's most wanted paedoph...

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Funny story: Catholic Church Changes Stance On Abortion After Pope Visit To Denney's

Catholic Church Changes Stance On Abortion After Pope Visit To Denney's

Vatican City--In a stunning move today, the Vatican announced that the Catholic church is now "pro-choice". The surprising news comes following Pope Benedict XVI's recent evening out at a local Denney's. "I couldn't believe the number of children...

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Funny story: Pope Quits: Says One Billion Catholics Are Wrong

Pope Quits: Says One Billion Catholics Are Wrong

Pope Benedict resigned as Supreme Pontiff over one-billion Roman Catholics citing his desire to wed his long time valet, Augustus Longdongo. Vatican officials are in shock over the Pope's Sunday morning decision to resign. Papal Secretary of State...

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Funny story: Injured Pope Orders Those Responsible Rounded Up And Shot

Injured Pope Orders Those Responsible Rounded Up And Shot

Pope Benedict has caused a stir with his comments after suffering a broken wrist while holidaying in Northern Italy. "First he exploded into a string of expletives, then he started blaming the gays and the gypsies and the Jews," explains Cardinal...

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Funny story: Catholic Church Hellbent On World Domination

Catholic Church Hellbent On World Domination

The Catholic Church has secret plans to take over the world. These plans have only recently been uncovered by our correspondent following a trip to the local pub. On his return he discovered that the Catholic church has made plans which could lead to...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI Achieves First Orgasm

Pope Benedict XVI Achieves First Orgasm

(Vatican City, Vatican) Former Hitler Youth member Joseph Ratzinger, now better known as Pope Benedict XVI, proudly disclosed to the news media that he achieved his first orgasm last night after a late night swim with 26-year-old US Sister Mary McCon...

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Funny story: What do 'Toni' Blair, Silvio Berlusconi, the Mafia and the Kray Brothers have in common. Maybe they all work for the 'Roman Catholic Church?'

What do 'Toni' Blair, Silvio Berlusconi, the Mafia and the Kray Brothers have in common. Maybe they all work for the 'Roman Catholic Church?'

Lord Boothby. Boothby was a bisexual who had declared that he wasn't quite sure if he preferred young boys or young girls. However, at the time governments could potentially fall due to a case of homosexuality between grown adults (which between grow...

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Funny story: Pope questioned on Jesus Christ's chat show

Pope questioned on Jesus Christ's chat show

Chat show host Jesus H. Christ today gave Pope Benedict the Fourteenth a hard time on his show, 'It Ain't Rocket Science', live on BBC1. As the former Nazi walked on to the stage, he was somewhat taken aback to be greeted by boos from the studio audience, and shouts of 'Liar!', and 'Fascist!', and awkwardly took his seat, dressed in a woman's purple and white dress. The Pope, not the seat, whic...

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Funny story: Gays and Lesbians reject the Catholic church and reform!

Gays and Lesbians reject the Catholic church and reform!

Gay & Lesbian rights groups are abandoning the Catholic church and forming their own global religion called "We are the only natural sons and daughters of God, Amen and fuck the rest especially if they're not." The reason for this shock, globa...

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Funny story: Pope to Canonize New Saints

Pope to Canonize New Saints

Pope Benedict plans to canonize a group of new saints, according to news sources at The Vatican. The new saints will receive beatification at a ceremony in St. Peter's Basilica on the first Sunday in May. The new saints are: * Saint Helen of the...

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