WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order Tuesday, directing the National Weather Service to build the Climatron. The Climatron will control the climate and will be operated by the Vice President of the United States. Opera...
WASHINGTON, DC - This morning, President Obama proposed utilizing the USA's military to build a dike around the lower 48 states, combating climate change. The dike would be approximately 10,000 miles long and would be 6 inches tall, preventing ris...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama signed an Executive Order today, mandating that schools offer breakfast in bed for disadvantaged students. When the school bell rings, many children file into classrooms and open their textbooks. Increasingl...
A surprise announcement by President Barack Obama has set a tidal wave of furious debate and conflict loose all across the United States from Alaska to California. It is the most astonishing decision ever made by any president since Truman's deci...
Charlottesville, NC- President Obama expressed amazement today that his political opponents sometimes call him a "tax and spend liberal." On a visit to an historically segregated, poor performing all black school, the President told students that h...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama called Dick Cheney the 'worst Vice President ever', after former Vice President Dick Cheney said that President Barack Obama is the worst commander in chief the United States has ever had. The former vice presiden...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama's Press Secretary, April Phulz, announced today that the President has signed a Presidential Executive Order prohibiting future Presidents from issuing Presidential Executive Orders. Ms. Phulz stated that President...
Washington DC - "Dis am me Audacity of Dope ganja shack,"" Obama tweeted as he posted pics of a stunning Montego Bay beachside villa complete with its very own cannabis plantation. The $1 million oceanfront mansion has five bedrooms, ten bathrooms...
Dick Cheney has said that Obama is the worst President of his lifetime. Here are a few responses: Pol Pot stated: "I agree, and I often do agree with Cheney anyway. And I feel the same way about Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh was an evil bastard. I mean, look what he did to the boat people. And look at how he humiliated the former landowning class. Anyone who would massacre innocent people on the gro...
Taken from the top news headlines this week: • Reports indicate that the Disneyland measles outbreaks were caused by low vaccination rates. See what ObamaCare did this week? It lowered inoculation rates 10 years ago. Thanks, Obama. • President Obama made his NCAA bracket picks. He admitted it was very difficult to take a break from his official duties and just enjoy the fun, frivolous mome...
WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday. "We shouldn't be making it harder to vote, we should be makin...
WASHINGTON -- Republican leaders are engaging in a bit of their own "March Madness" in criticizing President Obama for picking the number one ranked and undefeated Kentucky Wildcats to win the NCAA men's basketball championship instead of GOP favorit...
President Barry Obummer is madder than Michelle on PMS at the news that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA, for short) is spending one billion dollars "that could be better spent on propping up Obummercare," Prezident Obummer co...
WASHINGTON, DC - The United States Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Barack Obama, criticized a letter sent by 47 U.S. Republican Senators to Tehran about the ongoing negotiations on Iran's nuclear program, saying the move showed "disintegration" in U.S. pol...
London, UK - A highly decorated World War III general and former UK Chief of Stuff has been quizzed by cops following a series of dawn raids as part of Operation Ratsarse. General Sir Monty Dambusta, WC & bar, 47,942,716th in line to the Briti...
ISIS has built or purchased, "from parties unknown," a time machine and is traveling into Iraq's "ancient past," to destroy the Assyrian city of Nimrod, the United Nations recently whined. "We are heartbroken," archaeologists sniffed, "and outrage...
Ah, yes. Elections. The only thing more American than that is a morbidly obese 40 year old drunk man carrying an assault rifle; yelling at immigrants. Boy, we really let our forefathers down. Around 65 people are potential candidates for presiden...
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