The Moon has been selected to host the 2026 World Cup it was announced today. FIFA are keen to bring the World Cup to places that are undeveloped in economic and football terms and the Moon's bid fulfilled both those criteria. The lack of stad...
London - (Nuptial Tosspots): You can blame Clarence House tosspots for this one - or whoever else picked the 65th anniversary of Hitler's Berlin bunker wedding to Eva Braun as next year's Wills and Kate nuptials. That's the message from Zurich ton...
Georgie Snuffeloffogos, Head of London's Zoo's Aquarium Department, was a little upset after hearing that England would NOT be hosting the 2018 Football World Cup after losing the bid to Russia. Georgie said he had started training his Octopus, Mi...
In a total sham, which left the Queen in tears and Prince William berating the injustice, the 'FIFA Fools' went for Russia to stage the 2018 World Cup. 'It is clearly a fix' declared William 'the Russians got it because they backed Qatar to get th...
England football fans and players were in tears after losing the bid for England to host the 2018 World Cup. Even Beckam and Wills were sniffling when the cameras weren't on them, consoling each other, with snot running from their noses. Now I...
One of the Match of the Day pundits has stepped out of line and blasted an unprecedented tirade at the Premier League and football authorities. The outburst was made during filming of last Saturday's episode but was edited out before broadcast.
Former Liverpool FC player Yossi Benayoun has made sensational claims that an ex-team mate tired to eat him during his time on Merseyside. Benayoun stunned reporters when he lifted the lid on the cannibalistic ways of an old colleague. The play...
The announcement today from Iran that they had publicly hung a soccer wag, the mistress of a former soccer star, has sent a tremor of terror and trepidation though the sports world, especially in the UK where the practice of being a 'temp' has beco...
In the wake of his teams 5-0 thrashing at the hands of Barcelona, Real Madrid head coach Jose Mourinho has refused to acknowledge the result. Mourinho said, "It was obvious for all to see that we deserved the points and I am looking forward to mai...
As the snow flew on that Godforsaken hovel, otherwise known as Upton Park, Manchester United fans sneaked out of the stadium following a 4-0 defeat to the mighty bubble blowing West Ham ICF merchants. United fan, Jarbo the Killer, admitted that Un...
Switzerland - (Gnomes Of Zurich Mess): The tosspot trio landed in Cloud Cuckooclock Land today ahead of the 2018 World Cup announcement. Billed as 'England's Finest!' their schmooze of bribery-accused FIFA officials promises discreet - and Wiki...
David Cameron is to be in the England squad for their next European qualifier against Wales. He has already started training with the squad. "I want to be seen as a down to earth, man of the people prime minister" said the PM, over a fat ciga...
Following the BBC 'Panorama' programme on alleged corruption by FIFA executives the organisation has announced that all those named have no place in FIFA. Demands are being made to the individuals that they repay any money given to them to act corrup...
Last night - Camp Nou, Barcelona, Catalunya - El Clasico - Barcelona v Real Madrid - The Special One, Jose Mourinho strolled confidently into Camp Nou, only to be found a few short hours later hiding in a kit bag as his team had been systematically t...
Liverpool left back Paul Konchesky has been voted the luckiest bloke alive. Konchesky 29, who followed boss Roy Hodgson from Fulham to Liverpool in the summer, is said to have agreed with the outcome of vote. He excitedly told reporters, "This is...
A certain 'Bulgarian Beelzebub' who has been criticised for his phlegmatic performances since being a member of the "Theatre of Dreams" company answered all of them yesterday. He came out with a point to prove and blasted his opponents and critics...
It has been revealed that Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger was this week given unrivalled access in to the life of an Arsenal season ticket holder who verbally abused him from the stands throughout the second half of his teams shock defeat to Champions...
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