After 12 years as the boss of FIFA (the F**king Football Association), Supp Blather has announced his resignation from the job, bringing to an end a stellar career which had such humble beginnings. After graduating from university, Blather worked...
Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, has categorically denied rumours that he plans to remain at the helm at Old Trafford until, and possibly after, he is 100 years old, says Wikileaks. The Scot, 81, was reacting to a news story on the sa...
MURDEROUS, semi-literate rage was building amongst English football fans last night as it emerged that the Football Association had played the film "Green Street" as part of their unsuccessful pitch to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. Det...
FIFA executives have announced that Russia will host the FIFA World Cup in 2018, beating favourites, England, the home of the game. What do you think? Peter Mattes, New York (Rubber-On-Pencil Pusher) - The football world cup? I never knew there was a football world cup! I didn't even know other countries played... oh. The fake football. The communist one. Oh. Screw you. Leonard Scott, Gla...
FIFA has been sent into meltdown tonight as it has been revealed that their president, Sepp Blatter, is in fact a high class female prostitute. The shock revelation was discovered in the fall out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding announcement i...
Italian wildchild and wantaway Man Cty ace Mario Balotelli, has controversial plans to wear a tribute to late rapper Tupac Shakur on his Manchester City kits. Balotelli is understood to be a massive of the ganagster scene and it is well known that...
Well, according to the local newspapers, the England bid was stitched up from the start by the Russian mafia that according to Wikileaks run the place. Good for them I say. Compared to the UK, they know how to run a country. No one moans over there a...
LONDON & MOSCOW - After revelations that Russia is hosting the 2018 World Cup, Britain have started WW3 with Russia. David Cameron, coming to Cabinet in a drunken stupor, mostly to drown his sorrows of the lost investment, ordered his Cabinet...
Shortly after it was announced that the next two World Cup sites had been awarded to Russia and Quatar (wtf), as an Act of God, a spokesman for The Disappointed Three Lions Negotiating Committee, said "quits" to the corrupt Federation International...
As the terrible news that England's 2018 World Cup bid had failed started to sink in this morning, the Wikileaks website announced that the reason behind the snub was that FIFA officials believe that Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney...
Britain's "red-top" papers have reacted to the FIFA vote to give the 2018 World Cup to Russia in a satisfyingly predictable way. One banner headline reads: "Russkies Take Blatter Up The Arse In Vote Fixing Scandal!" Another blames CONCACAF pow...
Aleksandr Orlov. The funny little meerkat every British household wants a doll of, just to have him given to your dog as a Christmas present. Now the proud mascot of Moscow as he was the first to celebrate the Russian success. In a fixed vote,...
Aston Villa have this evening confirmed that midfield maestro Stephen Ireland has agreed to play in this weekends fixture against Liverpool. The Villa spokesman went on to state that as the Villa fixture doesn't clash with any soap omnibuses Irel...
Penny came through the door and told Terry: 'I've been to Upton Park and had a real surprise.' 'I'll guess. Manchester United only beat West Ham 3-0'. 'No.' 'Am I close?' 'No.' 'Just 1-0?' 'No.' 'Not a draw?' 'No.' 'We got a penalty in the last minute and won 1-0?' 'No.' 'Penny. You've got to tell me.' 'We won 4-0! The worst deafeat for Manchester United since a...
England's latest world cup failure is easy to explain. It has nothing to do with handbags, wags or Panorama - but has a more down to earth explanation - Gary Lineker's confession that he had shat himself during a game in the 1990 World Cup Finals.
Zurich, SWITZERLAND: England's World's Cup bid was humiliatingly destroyed as FIFA revealed that the England bid won just two votes. 2018 World Cup bid voting. First round: England 2 votes. Belgium-Netherlands 4. Spain-Portugal 7. Russia 9. (E...
Italian badboy Mario Balotelli last night stunned radio listeners with a foul-mouthed outburst live on air. The Man City ace was a special guest on a football based show, and did little to change the perception that he is an overpaid premadonna.
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