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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Rooney in U-Turn shock!

Rooney in U-Turn shock!

In an amazing U-turn - Wayne Rooney has decided to stay in Manchester for another five years. This just two days after the 24-year-old hitman claimed " the city's failure to attract world-class prostitutes to Old Trafford area prompted his dec...

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Funny story: Shock as Rooney Signs 5 year Deal with Man U and Rest of Team Quits in Protest!

Shock as Rooney Signs 5 year Deal with Man U and Rest of Team Quits in Protest!

In a late breaking news with all the facts not in, reports have surfaced that petulant potato faced Wayne Rooney has signed a new 5 year contract with Manchester United. A teary eyed Colleen, his wife and child hood sweetheart, said the sudden ch...

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Funny story: Liverpool Happy To Get Away

Liverpool Happy To Get Away

Liverpool players and staff were pleased to get away from Naples with a 0-0 draw - and their lives - last night. The match against Napoli in the Europa League went ahead despite a number of Reds fans being attacked and hospitalised with serious in...

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Funny story: Rooney Row - Holloway Goes For Lie Down

Rooney Row - Holloway Goes For Lie Down

Blackpool boss Ian Holloway was said to be having a lie down yesterday after an incredible rant at the international football authorities. Holloway was apoplectic during a televised press conference when he commented on the Rooney/Manchester Unite...

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Funny story: Noisy Neighbours Silenced By Lech Poznan Fans

Noisy Neighbours Silenced By Lech Poznan Fans

City Of Manchester Stadium (home of Wayne Rooney Ltd) Thursday. A somewhat embarrassing experience here for City fans last night. The normally noisy neighbours were put to shame by visiting fans of Polish Champions, Lech Poznan. No rousing rend...

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Funny story: "Wayne Rooney Has Shit His Nest" Say United Fans. No Turning Back Now

"Wayne Rooney Has Shit His Nest" Say United Fans. No Turning Back Now

The message from Manchester United supporters to want away striker Wayne Rooney was virtually unanimous, according to Old Trafford insiders. The vast majority of fans appear to be of the opinion that if Rooney wants to leave, he should just get on...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Not Such A 'Daft Apeth'

Wayne Rooney Not Such A 'Daft Apeth'

Troubled Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has spoken out about what he describes as the Old Trafford club's "lack of ambition", and its apparent inability to attract world class players to Old Trafford. His surprisingly eloquent…

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney 'At The End Of His Tether'

Wayne Rooney 'At The End Of His Tether'

Manchester City and England striker Wayne Rooney is under severe mental pressure, could crack at any moment, and is just about at the end of his tether. Rooney, who has just completed a world record £85million signing from city rivals Manchester U...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Shirts Go On Sale In Man City Clubshop

Wayne Rooney Shirts Go On Sale In Man City Clubshop

Football shirts bearing the name of Wayne Rooney, the wantaway Manchester United and England striker, have gone on sale, some say a little bit prematurely, in the Manchester City clubshop. The sky blue shirts are retailing at £52.99. Rooney, 24...

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Funny story: City Offer Rooney 200 Grans A Week

City Offer Rooney 200 Grans A Week

Manchester City are poised to sign arch rivals Manchester United's want-away star Wayne Rooney with an offer the player descibes as "too good to resist, like." City owner Sheikh Mansour, who as they say is "not from round these parts" asked his cl...

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Funny story: Rooney To Join City In Shock Swap Deal For Tevez

Rooney To Join City In Shock Swap Deal For Tevez

Unsettled 'want out' spoilt brat Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney looks all set to join Manchester City in a straight swap deal for Carlos Tevez, according to our source, Nutty Norman from Ardwick Green. Speaking from a theme pub in town, Nu...

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Funny story: Rooney Won't Sign New Deal - Can't Write Own Name

Rooney Won't Sign New Deal - Can't Write Own Name

Wayne Rooney looks set to leave Manchester United because he will not, or cannot, sign a new deal at the club. The England striker is not thought to be interested in a move away from Old Trafford, but is understood to be physically unable to write...

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Funny story: "The Chosen One" only wants Rooney if he learns proper English, mate!

"The Chosen One" only wants Rooney if he learns proper English, mate!

Jose Mourinho "The Chosen One" has shown interest in unsettled, once upon a time Superstar, Wayne Rooney. His club Real Madrid will do anything what Mourinho requests and have no problems offering Wayne a job at Real Madrid. There are though se...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Signs New Contract

Wayne Rooney Signs New Contract

In one of the biggest about-turns in recent footballing memory, Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has today signed a new three-year contract agreement. Rooney, 24, went with his wife Coleen to his local branch of Currys and purcha...

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Funny story: Rooney To Stay At United - But He Will Be Farmed Out In Loan Deal

Rooney To Stay At United - But He Will Be Farmed Out In Loan Deal

According to inside news leaked from Lou Macari's chippy, under fire United striker Wayne Rooney will be staying at Manchester United, but will be farmed out by the club on a twelve month loan deal until the dust settles. Most probably to Tranmere...

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Funny story: Rangers CEO Bain - Battle lost but war still on

Rangers CEO Bain - Battle lost but war still on

Angry Rangers supremo Martin Bain last night vowed to fight the proposed Government spending cuts as he prepared to go to war with the SFA. The raging chief executive is angry that the Ark Royal is to be scrapped as he planned to launch strategic...

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Funny story: Wayne: I want Chelsea.

Wayne: I want Chelsea.

Rooney officially has come out and said that he wants to quit Manchester United. The overpaid and over-laid Manchester United forward, and former Blueboy, told his boss that he wants to go to "Chelsea". But not to the club. Yes, it's 24 year...

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