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Funny satire stories about life

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Funny story: Thou shalt not steal

Thou shalt not steal

Proverbs are trickles of man's life. An instance is 'Set a thief to catch a thief'. None of the species, in animal kingdom, favor being robbed. When prevention failed, 10 commandments came in: 'Thou shalt not steal'; but the command fell short, too. Then constables were hired; no abatement. Additionally, an unsanctioned alliance took place between the thieves and the constables; from that point on...

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Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 18 Dec 2011 - with comments

Nottingham News for W/E 18 Dec 2011 - with comments

15 Dec 2011: Armed robbers made off with cash after raiding a post office in Nottingham 'Nottingham Today' Two men wearing scarves over their faces entered the shop in Hucknall Road, Sherwood, at 11.10am on Wednesday and demanded money. Witnesses say that one of the men was carrying a gun. The pair made off with a quantity of cash in a grey bag and fled the scene in a stolen Black Audi A3...

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Funny story: The Day the World Went Blind?

The Day the World Went Blind?

"I believe in justice... but don't u think that an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind?" says Katy Perry, in response to the bin Laden assassination. She is also troubled by the fact that she keeps on seeing the number 33 and that it has happened at least seven times, already. 33...? 7 times? Well, at a wild guess, Katy, it obviously doesn't imply that the world is going to end in 20...

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Funny story: Got Mooch?

Got Mooch?

The latest must have item among upwardly mobile Americans is the personal mooch. For years, being able to afford a full-time live-in butler, maid, or nanny has been the mark of the well to do. Today however, it has become mandatory to have a person...

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Funny story: Life expectancy gap "must be reduced"

Life expectancy gap "must be reduced"

Independent think tank NICE (the National Institute for Compulsory Equality) have today released a report which reveals the shocking difference in life expectancy in different parts of the UK. While inhabitants of Devon can expect to be venerable...

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Funny story: Study Finds New Top Cause of Death Worldwide

Study Finds New Top Cause of Death Worldwide

Scientists at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, California rocked the foundation of the medical community earlier this afternoon at a press conference revealing the results of their most recent study. "We have significant proof that the...

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Funny story: U.K. Male Life Expectancy On The Rise

U.K. Male Life Expectancy On The Rise

The number of men in Britain that has a reasonable chance of getting a life has risen dramatically in the last 10 years, according to a study published by the Social Policy Foundation. The SPF claims that ,since the stigma attached to males living on their own has virtually disappeared, most single males(who would previously have cohabited with or even married the first woman that took any kind...

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Funny story: Life News: Man Declares War on Internet Service Provider

Life News: Man Declares War on Internet Service Provider

BIRMINGHAM - Robert Bates, 24, has declared a full-out war on his local internet service provider, TalkTalk. The ISP, which has been accused of fowl play, and knowingly sanctioning the broadband speed, has already been bombarded with many emails a...

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Funny story: Facts of Life

Facts of Life

While I've realized that people LOVE to read funny shit, I've also come to the conclusion that they HATE reading a lot more. So here are some short, sweet, straight to the point, Facts of Life: - Is anyone out there still founding new cities? Are you telling me, somewhere in the world there's a Johnsonville Townhip, Founded October 2010? - I hate when people say "Speak of the Devil." So,...

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Funny story: Whats it all about, Alfie?

Whats it all about, Alfie?

I have not got a clue. My life evolves day to day and it changes like the seasons. Put a coat on cos its cold, take a coat off cos its too bleedin hot. But, when is it to hot and when is it to cold? Who the fuck knows. I met a geezer the other day, says he thinks his wife is havin an affair. When he starts to explain where she works and wot she looks like, I realise its me avin it off wiv his o...

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Funny story: Even MORE causes for premature death and heart disease - experts claim

Even MORE causes for premature death and heart disease - experts claim

The risk of heart disease and premature death from any cause doubled for those spending more than fours hours a day glued to a screen, it was claimed. This is very troublesome as the readers of this article will most likely have to put themselves into that risk factor group. All the fun is being taken away from life. One wonders why we should bother living at all. We can't EAT what we wan...

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Funny story: Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

The debate over whether advance care planning is actually another way to describe death panels is rearing its ugly head again since regulation started January 1st. The few folks who are still fuzzy on exactly what the intent of the regulation is are claiming that it will cause some folks who are facing some tough decisions, such as whether or not to continue life-sustaining treatment, to just say...

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Funny story: Cousteau Discovers Fido Plankton

Cousteau Discovers Fido Plankton

Following in the flipper steps of his famous father Pierre-Yves Cousteau met with marine science students at the Andres Bello University this week along with representatives of the Chilean communications agency Alkance Comunicaciones to speak about C...

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Funny story: Jamie Oliver Wrecked my Entire Life

Jamie Oliver Wrecked my Entire Life

A horrified housewife has today revealed that Jamie Oliver wrecked her entire life. Due to an unfortunate chain of circumstances, all pertaining to Jamie's new Cook Book, she ended up with No Christmas dinner, No house, No cat, and a criminal record...

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Funny story: Try Some of my Grappa

Try Some of my Grappa

By viewing someone's clothing & personal effects, we may infer what the owner is. This can be applied to the original creator, le Dieu, too. Closely watching nature's exotic flowers, colorful bids, nice looking animals, etc, we can presume le Dieu to be an art lover. Moreover, it looks like, la Dieu, oops, is crazy for plays. She enjoys watching birds' nesting so much that she puts a pinch...

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Funny story: My Heiny Hiroshima!

My Heiny Hiroshima!

Whenever I get to thinking that I might have a bit on the ball, might have a goodly functioning brain, or might have a decent amount of common sense, I do something that causes me to really, really wonder. To kick her off today, I think most of us middle-aged types still want to convince ourselves that we can do the same things we did back when we were younger. We want to think that we can be...

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Funny story: Shock: Lady Luck Spurns Those In Need

Shock: Lady Luck Spurns Those In Need

A local man was heard to say that 'Lady Luck was gonna shine on him some day', in a local bar this evening. However, locals who were present spoke out against this rather 'sunny' outlook on life and argued that the aforementioned 'Lady' was in fac...

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