In breaking news, the Vatican has announced that it will subpoena former Beatle Paul McCartney to attend a special hearing by the Office of Orthodox Instruction (formerly the Inquisition set up originally during the Reformation). Whilst the Vatic...
Venice, Italy - In the wake of this week's devastating floods, Italy's most romantic tourist city has been sold to Seaworld. Mayor of Venice, Backupo Sewero held a press conference in flooded St Mark's Square to make the dramatic announcement.
VATICAN CITY - The Vatican's newspaper (The Godly Times) has forgiven Hugh Grunt for declaring that Catholic Priests were more gay than George Michael, calling the remark a "boast of an fu****g arsehole" by a old man grappling with fame. The comm...
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI ,Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy,Bishop of Rome, Leader of the Roman Catholic Church, The Vicar of Christ, Head of State of the Vatican,Servant of the Servants of God,Successor of the Prince of...
Vatican - (Holy Shit! Mess): The BBC's shambolic Russell Brand slag-shagging shame fiasco took a new twist this weekend with the Vatican urging an immediate exorcism of Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie. Pope Joe 'The Plumber' Ratzinger apparently...
New York, New York, New York, New York - Scientists in Kobe, Japan have revealed they have successfully cloned a dead mouse, frozen for the past 16 years. It marks the first time tissue taken from a dead mammal has been successfully cloned to form a...
Kerala, India - Catholic Bishop John Lobha of Kochi, India may be in deep elephant dung for his recent adoption of a 26 year old woman. Bishop Lobha allegedly met the young woman on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. She is the daughter of an Orthodox pr...
Vatican - (Holy Shit! Mess): The Vatican is ourtaged at reports that its latest canonization fodder, former UK prelate Cardinal Newman, was in fact Jack the Ripper. Last week the Pontifical Orifice for Digging Up Corpses demanded that Newman's bo0...
Rome - (Unholy Mess): Vatican profits nosedived last year despite record revenues from staple income sources such as altar boy pimping, nuclear arms proliferation, general arms dealing, drug running, the slave trade, money laundering, simony-related...
Rome - (Preposterous Mess): "Prick us and do we not bleed?" was the official statement from the Pontifical Orifice for Demonizing Women's Ordination today.
Amidst growing concerns that Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are on a rise, the Vatican has decided to do away with sexual intercourse itself. This new directive shall ensure that the previous directives banning contraception remain in place.
London - (Ass Mess): Tony Blair will get £50 million and a Papal knighthood for delivery of schism-hit C of E members back to the bosom of the Vatican according to reliable sources.
Vatican City--Pope Benedict XVI decreed today that using the online search engine Google for pleasure was sinful, and was akin to adultery. Catholics should stop the practice immediately.
Vatican City - (Goddawful Mess): A papal adviser on family planning issues is being shielded by Vatican spooks after being exposed as Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's long lost secret twin brother.
Speaking from his multi-millionaire's massive luxury home in Rome, only a few thousand miles away from Palestine, where Jesus preached humility and poverty, Pope Benedictine the Unhypocritical said: 'Ave Caesar. Yes, I mean no, anyone spreadi...
In the enlightened times after the Second Vatican Council, sexism was declared a sin.
(Vatican City) - The Vatican today announced that anyone attempting to ordain a woman into the priesthood would be excommunicated, as would the woman herself. The decree was signed by Cardinal William "Misogy" Levada, prefect of the congre...
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