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Funny satire stories about Scotland

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Funny story: Scots ban Rooney from entering Scotland, he forgot his passport!

Scots ban Rooney from entering Scotland, he forgot his passport!

On the eve of tonight's "Battle of Britain" between Man Utd and Rangers there was a shock surprise for Wayne Rooney. Sir Alex Ferguson was planning to play Rooney tonight hoping he would explode back into form and blast Rangers off of the Ibrox pa...

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Funny story: Scottish Refs See Red

Scottish Refs See Red

Scottish refereees have had enough. They are going on strike. One striker told me 'I may miss a goal or two but my aim is always to work to the best of my abilities.' Managers in Scotland have surpassed managers in England with their abuse of refs...

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Funny story: Scottish referees refused permission to wear balaclavas set to strike

Scottish referees refused permission to wear balaclavas set to strike

Fixtures in Scotland face possible postponement next weekend after Category One referees facing the biggest threat to their safety since Duncan Ferguson retired voted to strike after being refused permission by the Scottish Premier League to wear bal...

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Funny story: Grounded nuclear sub was eavesdropping on Scottish Nationalists

Grounded nuclear sub was eavesdropping on Scottish Nationalists

Isle of Skye - (Stuxnet Mess): "And their South Ronaldsay satanic abuse scandal separatist feminist lesbian partners!" an Admiralty source chuckled today as a flaccid HMS Astute limped back to port. Designed to sit in a puddle without attracting r...

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Funny story: Nuclear Subo Marine accident brings end to R&D of new weapons plant in Scotland

Nuclear Subo Marine accident brings end to R&D of new weapons plant in Scotland

Ministry of Defence officials have decided to halt plans for nuclear powered automatons that would have been able to sing like Susan Boyle, as a form of sonic warfare, intended to lull the enemy into a restful sleep, before blowing the crap out of th...

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Funny story: Scotland "Can't Afford Union"

Scotland "Can't Afford Union"

Scotland can no longer afford the union with the rest of the UK, according to Scottish Nationalist Party Finance Secretary John Swinney. He told the SNP conference in Perth that proposed UK government spending cuts could mean that the Scottish par...

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Funny story: Scottish Police Call for More Women Shooters

Scottish Police Call for More Women Shooters

Scottish police have called for more female officers to carry guns. At the moment it is mainly the men who are called upon to whip their weapons out and shoot at passers by. Under new Sex Equality Laws men will be able to be shot dead by either ma...

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Funny story: Fife Council to "Resettle" Troubled Population

Fife Council to "Resettle" Troubled Population

In a move to dramatically reduce spending and make savings of almost £50k, Executives at Fife Council are considering plans to "Resettle in the East Neuk" inhabitants of some of Fife's most notorious streets and housing estates. "This will reduce...

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Funny story: Glasgow Council anger at Scotland's Commonwealth Games snub

Glasgow Council anger at Scotland's Commonwealth Games snub

Glasgow Lord Provost Robert Winter last night expressed surprise and disappointment at the news that Scotland's team managers for the Delhi Commonwealth Games would not subject their athletes to squalid, dirty and sub-standard conditions in the Athle...

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Funny story: Scottish footy team booted out of pro soccer!

Scottish footy team booted out of pro soccer!

The once so proud Scottish footy team and its kilted Tartan Army have been booted out of the pro-Soccer world and forced back into amateur status. The reasons are quite clear, Scotland are just bloody awful and after their dismal display against t...

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Funny story: Euro 2012 qualifier upset as Scotland beat Lichtenstein

Euro 2012 qualifier upset as Scotland beat Lichtenstein

European football saw one of its biggest shock results tonight as the mighty footballing nation of Lichtenstein were humiliated at the hands of the minnows from Scotland. As expected the principality went ahead 1-0 early in the second half and wer...

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Funny story: End Of The Road For Old Bridge Saying

End Of The Road For Old Bridge Saying

Painters on one of Scotland's landmarks are furious that once their work is finished it will also mean the end of a grand old tradition. The men, working on the Forth Bridge, have almost completed a ten-year project to coat the steel work with a r...

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Funny story: Rooney On Target For Inverness Caledonian Thistle

Rooney On Target For Inverness Caledonian Thistle

Och! There was a day of joyous celebration for little-fancied Scottish Premier League side Inverness Caledoian Thistle yesterday, as they romped to a 4-0 away victory over Dundee United, with Adam Rooney helping himself to a brace of lovely goals.

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Funny story: Van der Sloot Given 3 Months to Live after Contracting Malaria; Granted Humanitarian Release to Scotland!

Van der Sloot Given 3 Months to Live after Contracting Malaria; Granted Humanitarian Release to Scotland!

In a shocking report just released today by the European Union Council of Ministers regarding the Human Rights and Health and Safety of Incarcerated Felons, Joran van der Sloot has been granted a humanitarian release by the Peruvian government when i...

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Funny story: Scotland to be dismantled in search for Tobin victims

Scotland to be dismantled in search for Tobin victims

Police sources today revealed that they are planning a major operation in Scotland in the search for victims of serial killer Peter Tobin. Tobin is thought to have started his killing career in the Scottish city of Glasgow in the 1960's as the i...

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Funny story: Gordon Brown Heads Intervention Team to Bring Mel Gibson "home" to Scotland!

Gordon Brown Heads Intervention Team to Bring Mel Gibson "home" to Scotland!

Mild mannered former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced today he would be heading up an intervention to save troubled Follywood Star Mel Gibson from himself after violent rants and bullying activities surfaced on the internet. "Mr. Gibson...

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Funny story: Big Foot sighted in Scotland

Big Foot sighted in Scotland

Edinburgh, Scotland. Authorities are in a flap today following unconfirmed sightings of a "Big Foot" or that rare unexplained life form usually found in North America. A suburban resident here said she was having her usual morning coffee at the lo...

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