A new government jobs creation scheme is to be brought in this April. From April all current back-to-work schemes will be gradually phased out. Announcing the new scheme today Prime Minister David Cameron said he fully expects it to create millions o...
Colin the chicken, winner of last year's 'Britain's Chicken's Got Talent', has launched a bid to become a member of parliament. Colin, 3, who lives on a farm in Bolsover, Derbyshire, intends to stand against incumbent M.P. Dennis 'Beast of Bolsove...
The House of Commons has taken a major step in reasserting it's position as Britain prime Boxing Centre. No slapping or gentle nudges, as in the latest fracas at the ringside but REAL BOXING, with blood and broken windows. It was joice all round...
Further details have now emerged regarding a brawl between MP's in a House of Commons bar on Wednesday night. The brawl is said to have started around 11pm in a Commons bar reserved for MP's and their guests when Labour MP Bill Joy accused ex-Austeri...
London - Was a dodgy illicit cocktail responsible for the drunken fracas in the House of Commons' Strangers Bar last night? Falkirk MP Eric Joyce was arrested following the ugly spat that saw him headbutt and punch a number of honorable fellow mem...
Tory Chancellor Tristram Tossington-Whelk was left red faced yesterday after yet another mathematical gaffe. Tossington-Whelk was holding his monthly press conference when he was quizzed on the size of the national debt by Dee Parting of the 'Dail...
Amarulence: How politicians think of the voters - Bitterness, spite. Aphnology: What Politicians are preoccupied with - The study of wealth. Back-hander: Only the very new, or the two honest MP's in Parliament would not know what this means - A bribe or illegal inducement. Bank: Where politicians prefer not to store their ill-gotten back-handers and bribes, preferring to use Overseas...
A leaked copy of George Osborne's draft Budget for next year has been found abandoned on a Virgin train travelling from his constituency in Manchester. The draft budget has been graded by an as-yet-unnamed economics professor, notable by the heavy...
Nottingham City Labour Councillor Mr B Ackander (56), has been praised for his efforts in getting the Nottingham Magistrates' and Criminal Court sessions to be shown live at a City Centre Cinema, now renamed the Majestic. Cllr B Ackander explained: "With the Coalition Government's cutbacks, it was essential we found a way to help ease the financial burden caused by their vicious cutbacks. And a...
Waterloo, Grand Turk: Many of you have noticed the flotila of tugs that have anchored in TCI waters during the last week. I can now reveal what will soon be happening. HM Government has decided to tow the Turks and Caicos Islands across the Atlantic and relocate them in the Thames estuary. Do not despair, Belongers, for this is a measure in your own interest. Think of the advantages you will...
Chris Huhne Energy and Climate Change Minister has resigned because he is 'shagged out' and is finding life getting too hot, despite the coldest spell of the year. Also Ex Wife Vicky Pryce has become too expensive after she sent in her bill for drivi...
Have you ever watched Prime Minister's Questions and thought "I'd love to do that"? Well now you can, with the official Prime Minister's Questions board game. It is a game for three players. One player takes the part of the Leader of the Opposition, one plays the Prime Minister and the third player is the Speaker of the House. The game is simple. The Leader of the Opposition thinks up a...
In an unfortunate episode central London experienced the horror of Big Ben sliding into the Thames. Happily no was injured in the catastrophe, although several tourists have been treated by paramedics for shock. A Japanese man, coincidentally taki...
Today, the prime minister shocked parliament by dissolving the British government. In a disturbing statement, David Cameron announced that following much consideration, he and his cabinet can no longer be bothered to run Britain. The leader of the...
Plans are advanced in the proposed legislation to sack failing MPs who do not meet the expectations of constituents. 'Waiting for an election is not good enough' declared education secretary Michael Glove 'it is time we sorted out the useless MPs...
Paddington Bear is to lead an immediate investigation into the alleged 'renditioning' of a loaf bread and the contents of a jar of marmalade apparently removed from the cupboard of his live-in landlords, the Browns. The Bear, from Deepest Darkest...
Following a strong recommendation by the Science and Technology Committee of Parliament, British residents have taken their government's health recommendations to heart, cutting daily drinking activities by more than 50% "We felt an obligation to...
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