Great scientific advances will be heralding in a time when 100 is the average age. The Queen is worried she will have to send so many messages of congratulation that she will run out of paper and Prince Charles, becoming frustrated at waiting so long...
Maudrice Langsley, the world famous Crash Granny who created 90% of all the dare devil stunts used in Hollywood movies was killed Saturday while finishing up her farewell tour in Sidney, Australia. Granny, who in all of her 87 years of doing deat...
"A group of elderly people who are frustrated by the police's inability to tackle local drug dealers have equipped themselves with high-tech gadgets and begun a surveillance operation to stop them." So reads a headline in an onsite newspaper toda...
I had a big problem, pimping my wife, the lazy cow would not get off her arse and do the business. So, I went round to my grans house and asked her if she wanted to earn a few quid, doing me a favour now and again. The batty old bastard is 98, so she will say yes to anything, wont she? daft as a brush! So, the older she is, the better, and don't forget to tell her to leave her teeth at home. If...
A new UK report released today reveals that over 70% of internet usage can be attributed to silver surfers, or in some cases, baldy headed surfers, as increasing numbers of tech savvy senior citizens get to grips with the complexities of the net.
Octogenarian Mervyn Forstwerth is toasting his good fortune today after literally walking away from a serious car accident. Mr Forstwerth scrambled underneath the car in a busy garage forecourt in Kent after seeing a 20p piece beside the rear wheel.
Secret Government proposals are afoot to raise the pension age to one hundred years old. This comes in the wake of discussions by DWP Minister Ian Dunkel Smyth to raise the retirement age to 70. Under the new proposals, dubbed as work til you d...
The problem of little old lady trafficking into Hawaii is relatively new, and as little as three years ago, police were unable to detect any signs of it. However, when police noticed a dearth of knitters and crazy cat ladies, they could see there...
Councils, in England, are providing free Nintendo games and new slippers to OAP to reduce the number of falls suffered by the old codgers. Codgers can trade in their old tatty, stinky slippers and get a new pair for two quid. Councils are committed to providing the best possible care for their older citizens. They believe that getting the 'oldies' up and moving more, will go a long way to help...
What has thus far been a total disaster for hotels and businesses around the Gulf of Mexico over the oil spill, may not be so bad after all. "We read in TheSpoof that everyone here had the shits, over the oil slick mixing into the water supply",...
If you are fortunate enough to be able to recall when this country last had a Labour government, Manchester United were a successful football team and beer was only £3.00 a pint, then you're probably one of the dying breed of individuals afflicted wi...
Getting praise from critics and helping Saturday Night Live achieve a ratings surge has put comedienne-actress Betty White, 88, in the spotlight. It's not only her, but many other eighty-somethings as well. Television executives, waking up to t...
One of Britain's finest ever female tennis players and friend of Cliff today learned of the news that she was now the World's oldest woman. Sue Barker celebrated her 114th birthday last month by taking on Andy Murray at Wimbledon's Centre Court an...
Jupiter, FL - Hidden amongst the golf courses, pharmacies and bingo rooms lies a community of seniors who are hungry for more than just a reasonably priced early bird special. A startling number of seniors are on the prowl for hardcore dog fighting r...
Mature female audiences the world over have found a new crooning heartthrob to adore, whose name alone paints the romantic picture of a chilled glass of Champagne. Still hot from his recent win at the Canadian JUNO Awards, Michael Buble' has been se...
Many desperate pensioners living well below the poverty line have decided to use a different tack after being totally ignored by their elected socialist betters despite their many entreaties over the decades, for a fair deal. Buy a fake Romainian passport for about twenty quid, a pair of dark bushy eyebrows from any reputable joke shop and a tin of light tan shoe polish for the swarthy alien co...
"Avlong", the well known door-to-door cosmetics firm has announced that it will very soon be adding a new Anti-aging cream to the pages of its catalogues. "This cream is the miracle both women and men have been waiting for," stated Avlong's spokesperson, I.V.E. Gotcha from her office in India. When asked what the ingredients of this 'miracle cream' were, I.V.E. Gotcha said she wouldn't relea...
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