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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: Senior Citizens Embrace Dog Fighting

Senior Citizens Embrace Dog Fighting

Jupiter, FL - Hidden amongst the golf courses, pharmacies and bingo rooms lies a community of seniors who are hungry for more than just a reasonably priced early bird special. A startling number of seniors are on the prowl for hardcore dog fighting r...

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Funny story: Over 40 Crowd Swoons for Michael Buble'

Over 40 Crowd Swoons for Michael Buble'

Mature female audiences the world over have found a new crooning heartthrob to adore, whose name alone paints the romantic picture of a chilled glass of Champagne. Still hot from his recent win at the Canadian JUNO Awards, Michael Buble' has been se...

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Funny story: Depraved pensioners forced to take desperate measures

Depraved pensioners forced to take desperate measures

Many desperate pensioners living well below the poverty line have decided to use a different tack after being totally ignored by their elected socialist betters despite their many entreaties over the decades, for a fair deal. Buy a fake Romainian passport for about twenty quid, a pair of dark bushy eyebrows from any reputable joke shop and a tin of light tan shoe polish for the swarthy alien co...

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Funny story: New Anti-aging Cream Soon To Be Available

New Anti-aging Cream Soon To Be Available

"Avlong", the well known door-to-door cosmetics firm has announced that it will very soon be adding a new Anti-aging cream to the pages of its catalogues. "This cream is the miracle both women and men have been waiting for," stated Avlong's spokesperson, I.V.E. Gotcha from her office in India. When asked what the ingredients of this 'miracle cream' were, I.V.E. Gotcha said she wouldn't relea...

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Funny story: Oldies Urged to Choose Suicide-By-Teenager

Oldies Urged to Choose Suicide-By-Teenager

Old people who constantly complain that violent gangs of teenagers vandalize towns and stab each other should confront more teenagers and be prepared to be killed, a report said today. The report said that old people who cost the NHS £140 billion...

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Funny story: Present U.S Health System Makes Geezer Granola Out Of Elderly

Present U.S Health System Makes Geezer Granola Out Of Elderly

Intrepid FOX News reporters have uncovered a heinous left wing plot to do in Americas older generation. While many were decrying the hard rights scary chatter that the left was going to let older citizens die out, it turns out that the truth is even...

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Funny story: Al Gore Supports Obama's 'Take Your Life' Incentive for Seniors

Al Gore Supports Obama's 'Take Your Life' Incentive for Seniors

As is the case anytime the Democrats link the words 'historic' and 'legislation' all hell breaks loose and the truth seeps through various crack pots. In one of several aspects of Health Care reform the 'Take your Life' incentive for seniors is b...

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Funny story: Recipe for old age

Recipe for old age

The world's media descended on Grimsby today as Ernest Spangler Britain's oldest person celebrated his 117th birthday. Ernest who was born in 1893 has lived through the reign of 6 Monarchs and 23 Prime Ministers and fought in the Great War as a 22 ye...

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Funny story: Woman, 92, Charged With Murdering Husband, 98

Woman, 92, Charged With Murdering Husband, 98

A 92 year old woman has been charged with murdering her husband in Sydney Australia. Though a post mortem is to be undertaken to officially confirm the cause of death, neighbours have reported that the woman chopped off her husbands penis to "sor...

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Funny story: You are as Old as You Feel Claim Scientists

You are as Old as You Feel Claim Scientists

In an astounding new report a group of scientists from the University of Stoned California have announced that you genuinely are as young as you feel. Following on from other research not even remotely related to greenhouse gasses or melting iceca...

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Funny story: How to drive when you're 103 - Part 2

How to drive when you're 103 - Part 2

Welcome young ladies and gentlesirs to my latest missive I have received a veritable inundation of correspondence following my initial instructional verbiabge. Unfortunately I do not understand such Hogarthean terms such as "Moron", "Ancient Git" or "Oh for F**** Sake Not Him Again" I must therefore take your mass of letters of proof of my correctness As more hirsute or intelligent re...

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Funny story: Oldest women on the planet is Spoof writers Grandma, she's been stuck in her rocking chair for 50 of them!

Oldest women on the planet is Spoof writers Grandma, she's been stuck in her rocking chair for 50 of them!

The oldest women on the planet is 130 and one of the Spoof's more "wayward weirdo" (starts with J and ends with E) writers claims to be her Grandchild! This women has been seen wandering in an abandoned hotel stuck on a hill in Tunbridge Wells.

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Funny story: How to drive when you're 103 - Part 1

How to drive when you're 103 - Part 1

Welcome gentlemen and young ladies to this missive on how to use our modern roads. It has now been a fulsome number of years since those blasted "AA" radicals forced our good lords and ladies to repeal our simple law that motorised perambulators should be accompanied by a stout bearer carrying a red flag. Apparently our modern roads are somewhat velocitous places in greater need than ever of my...

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Funny story: Old People More Likely to Start a World War

Old People More Likely to Start a World War

Latest research from the University of Camberwick has shown that people over the age of 85 are more likely to start a serious world war than people half their age. In a paper published in "Which War" Magazine, top scientists claim that out of 5000...

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Funny story: The Pensioners World Boxing Championships

The Pensioners World Boxing Championships

Scottish Boxer Ken Buchanan who was World Light Weight Champion from 1970-72 is planning a comeback at the age of 65 so boxing authorities are now considering a World Boxing Championship for pensioners so you must be 65 or more to compete. Former...

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Funny story: Granny At Nursing Home Has Boob Job

Granny At Nursing Home Has Boob Job

Even though most of the other residents at the Loma Linda Nursing home in California were paying little attention to Granny Merle Rutherford, she had just returned to her room there with brand new boobs. "Oh the old boys in the lobby have noticed,...

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Funny story: Nursing Home Administrator Investigated

Nursing Home Administrator Investigated

It has come to light that the Twilte Nursing Home Administrator in Tampa Florida has been selfishly keeping gifts meant for the residents for himself. The nursing home administrator Clyde Klochmeyer was recently investigated and found to have more...

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