Prime Minister Gordon Brown has come out fighting after Labour's disastrous performance in the Euro elections which saw it fall to third place behind UKIP. Mr Brown said: "I take full responsibility for these results. It's all Mrs Thatcher's fault...
Prime Minister Gordon Brown's position is under increased threat again today, after Labour suffered its worst election performance in almost a century. Results from the European elections saw Labour lose the lead vote-share in Wales in a Parliamen...
Minister of Looking Like A Lizard - Gordon Brown Minister of Speaking Like A Poofter - Gordon Brown Minister of Shiting Himself Every Time Mandy Walks Into The Room - Gordon Brown Minister of Looking Like A Skunk And Getting Caught Stealing - Alastair Darling Minister of Red Swine 'Flu - Hazel Bleary-Memory Minister of Doing Everything The USA Tells You To Do - Gordon Brown Minis...
Stories are emerging of a fierce debate raging amongst a colony of rats aboard the HMS Britain, a ship recently stricken by storms and now badly keeling to one side. The key concern centres upon the position of the King Rat, known to many simply as...
London: Disgraced MP Hazel Blears, who yesterday quit the government as Communities Secretary as it emerged she might have made £80k profit at the expense of UK taxpayers, was involved in further turmoil as she joined the rest of the house-mates as t...
For Sale : One Labour Party, many previous owners. Current owner about to become unemployed, needs quick sale. Comes with endless free holidays, travel, meals, trees, horse manure, and Hazel Blears. Was red coloured, now white, or pinkish from a distance. Serious problem with rust needs attention. 2 free pornographic movies thrown in for nothing, no capital gains tax needed on purchase of...
[Scene:a space ship near the planet Venus] 'Hal, give me the co-ordinates of our destination.' '10:11, W1, 54N' 'Start trajectory course at once.' 'Trajectory initialised.' 'Italics off.' 'Confirmed.' 'Where are we going, Mr Spark?' 'We are going to meet the leader of the Labori, and his assistant reptiles Hazy and Jaki, on the planet Troff.' [Strauss waltz music begins] 'And turn tha...
With voting under way in the combined EU and Local Government Elections, early indications are of a record turnout from voters across the UK. Initial reports from counting rooms indicate that use of postal votes is at its highest since records beg...
With a Cabinet-generated Cabinet reshuffle now well and truly underway, and the Prime Minister fighting for his political life, sources within Downing Street say that the PM is ready to embrace radical new methods to engage in the political process.
Gordonov Brown was nine when the S.S. Labour Party sank after hitting a blairberg in 1997, and the disaster resulted in the deaths of hundreds of its crew, largely due to a lack of policies. Mr Brown, who remembered nothing of the fateful accident in...
Sources within Downing Street have indicated that Harridan Harpy is likely to receive a major promotion in the Cabinet reshuffle expected after Thursday's Local and European Elections. Harman, who is currently in The Priory being treated for exhau...
A team of medical experts are being rushed to London to deal with an 'unprecedented crisis' at Westminster. The team, from the Spinal Injuries Unit of Stoke Mandeville Hospital in Buckinghamshire, were called in by Prime Mincer Gollum Brown after...
Pop singer and child welfare expert Michael Jackson today said he was going to stand as a candidate in the forthcoming East Cheam by-election, brought on by the resignation of current MP, Sir Henry Porcine-Trofflehurst. When asked what policies he...
Twelve years of Labour government swiftly went below the surface of the sea today, and left many of their MPs struggling against a tide of derision and resentment. 'It were awful', said part-time embezzler and full-time liar Hazel Blears, MP, 'one...
Scientists in Oxford today announced the discovery of new forms of human parasites, the Primi Ministeriae, and began reseaching effective pesticides to get rid of them. 'The parasites were spotted in West London', parasitologist Dr Jeckyll Wormta...
Due to the recent MPs' expenses scandal the entire Labour Cabinet was sacked, and here are the new Ministers: Chancellor of the Exchequer - Ronald Biggs Home Secretary - Robert Maxwell Foreign Secretary - Thomson Tours Minister for Legalised Theft - Hazel Blears Minister Without Portfolio But Still With Two Free Homes And Two Daimlers - John Prescott Minister For Ham Acting And F...
Famous pickpocket and all-round tea leaf Fagin today replaced Gordon Brown as Prime Minister, and his first Cabinet appointment was to select The Artful Dodger as his Chancellor of the Exchequer. 'Listen, Dodger, me old china', he said, 'you've go...
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