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Funny story: Winehouse's Ghost to Appear On Fifth Street

Winehouse's Ghost to Appear On Fifth Street

Amy Winehouse's representatives in Heaven reported today that the ghost of the beloved singer will appear on Fifth street for any and all to see, as long as the bring a narcotic along with them as per Winehouse's request. These reps said that th...

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Funny story: Twenty-Seven Really Is The Loneliest Number!

Twenty-Seven Really Is The Loneliest Number!

Continuing a trend amongst some of this generation's earliest departures from earth, Amy Winehouse's name was added to a growing list of Super Novas in the murky, distorted world of rock and roll fame this week. The 27 year old singer songstress with the big voice and quirky style was found dead of an apparent drug overdose in her apartment, an end not altogether shocking after 4 years of...

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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Dead: Singer Found At Home In Suspected Overdose

Amy Winehouse Dead: Singer Found At Home In Suspected Overdose

Smack Rat Amy Winehouse was today found dead in her North London pad. The R'N'B star was today confirmed to have been found in a pool of her own vomit, surrounded by dirty socks and needles.Although authorities are keeping tight lipped about events e...

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Funny story: Winehouse Drug Addiction "Not Funny Now She's Dead"

Winehouse Drug Addiction "Not Funny Now She's Dead"

Media sources have revealed that the fact that Amy Winehouse had drug and alcohol problems ceased to be amusing the very minute she died. Before that, obviously, the fact that she was merely clearly going to die young, was absolutely fucking hilar...

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Funny story: 'Soylent Green is People' leaves City residents stunned, confused

'Soylent Green is People' leaves City residents stunned, confused

It was a panic that had city parents on-edge for nearly three years. It started on the West Side on the back of a bus-stop canopy. No one really even noticed at first. Then it started showing up at the grocery store, in the schools, in forums online and even in IMs and texts among teenagers. Local police and parents were certain they were dealing with the the birth and spread of the next bi...

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Funny story: Camden's Hawley Arms warned patrons of 'toxic smack' amid Amy Winehouse RIP

Camden's Hawley Arms warned patrons of 'toxic smack' amid Amy Winehouse RIP

London - Her favorite bar stool is draped in back silk tonight with the legend 'Amy Winehouse 1983-2011' in gilt (sic) letters confirming the tragedy. At her favorite NW1 watering hole this evening the atmosphere is grim as news of her death rocks...

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Funny story: Local Rapper Loses Credibility After Drug Charges Are Dropped

Local Rapper Loses Credibility After Drug Charges Are Dropped

Hip-Hop artist Keyz has spent much of the last year in a legal struggle, after drug distribution charges were leveled against him in early 2010. The Chicago native, who's most notable for his Top 40 smash "No, But I Fa' Real Sell Drugs," had an...

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Funny story: Dinosaur footprint-shaped Moon crater 'is giant marijuana leaf fossil' - report

Dinosaur footprint-shaped Moon crater 'is giant marijuana leaf fossil' - report

Space - Did the Universe's founding fathers seed more than just humans during their insemination of our solar system? A new report this weekend from the Lunar Prospector mission's on-board gamma-ray spectrometer has found 'highly significant' new...

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Funny story: Lucian Freud's dealer says he's dead

Lucian Freud's dealer says he's dead

London - Described variously as Lucian Fraud's dealer and/or weed man Mr William Acquavella said today the great artist had died. Speaking to reporters from the Emin Evening Argos the New Yorker confirmed Fraud had died at home in his sleep yester...

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Funny story: More Outtakes From Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

More Outtakes From Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence (how else could they look? did you ever hear of such a thing as a noisy look?). At length the caterpillar took the hookah pipe out of its mouth, and spoke to Alice in a languid drawl ('I've never been in a languid drawl before', thought Alice; 'it really is rather uncomfortable'). 'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. Thi...

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Funny story: Karzai Forced to Raise Afghan Debt Ceiling, Tax Corporate Jets and Tanning Booths After Assasination of Brother Cuts off Cash Flow!

Karzai Forced to Raise Afghan Debt Ceiling, Tax Corporate Jets and Tanning Booths After Assasination of Brother Cuts off Cash Flow!

The assassination of President Hamid Karzai's brother, Ahmed Wali, has thrown the Afghan nation into an economic crisis with Karzai now saying unless he can raise the debt ceiling and borrow more money while raising the income tax from 0 to 87% he w...

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Funny story: Doherty sings the blues in Camden

Doherty sings the blues in Camden

London - The No Woman No Cry matinee gig at Camden's Blues Kitchen on Saturday is the singer's Two Fingers Up Yours concert message to ex-love Kate Moss. The model, who was once the love of Doherty's life, got hitched last weekend 'to some boring...

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Funny story: Global 'War on drugs' working just fine, claim U16's

Global 'War on drugs' working just fine, claim U16's

Under 16's in Britain have thrown the full weight of their substance addled minds behind the global 'war on drugs', saying it has never been easier to perpetuate their habits. The Global Commission on Drug Policy has issued a report calling for...

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Funny story: Reading Celebrity Tittle Tattle Makes People Really Stupid

Reading Celebrity Tittle Tattle Makes People Really Stupid

A leading psychologist at the University Of Contemporary Life Studies in Oldham, Professor Bernard "Yozzer" Hill, has announced that reading saturated celebrity tittle tattle on a daily basis can convert reasonably intelligent people into slavering m...

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Funny story: Afghan Pull Out! Karzai Announces Corporate HQ Move to Chicago. Obama Declares Victory!

Afghan Pull Out! Karzai Announces Corporate HQ Move to Chicago. Obama Declares Victory!

Following 'unexpected' reports issued today that the Afghan Campaign has been a complete waste of lives and the squandering of Billions of dollars, CEO Hamid Karzai of Karzai Inc, LLC, announced he would be relocating the family corporate offices t...

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Funny story: Kolo Toure Scared Of Being A Fat Bastard Like His Wife

Kolo Toure Scared Of Being A Fat Bastard Like His Wife

Kolo Toure, Manchester City's Ivory Coast defender, will have to sit out the start of next season after being handed a six-month ban from football for failing a drugs test. The ban is to be back-dated to 2 March, so that there is minimal inconvenienc...

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Funny story: Paracetamol Pronunciation Headache

Paracetamol Pronunciation Headache

Drug company executives were up in arms this evening after a government ruling on the pronunciation of the popular painkiller Paracetamol threw millions of users into panic and confusion. Paracetamol has for centuries been pronounced Para-seata-mo...

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