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Funny story: Afghan Pull Out! Karzai Announces Corporate HQ Move to Chicago. Obama Declares Victory!

Afghan Pull Out! Karzai Announces Corporate HQ Move to Chicago. Obama Declares Victory!

Following 'unexpected' reports issued today that the Afghan Campaign has been a complete waste of lives and the squandering of Billions of dollars, CEO Hamid Karzai of Karzai Inc, LLC, announced he would be relocating the family corporate offices t...

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Funny story: Kolo Toure Scared Of Being A Fat Bastard Like His Wife

Kolo Toure Scared Of Being A Fat Bastard Like His Wife

Kolo Toure, Manchester City's Ivory Coast defender, will have to sit out the start of next season after being handed a six-month ban from football for failing a drugs test. The ban is to be back-dated to 2 March, so that there is minimal inconvenienc...

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Funny story: Paracetamol Pronunciation Headache

Paracetamol Pronunciation Headache

Drug company executives were up in arms this evening after a government ruling on the pronunciation of the popular painkiller Paracetamol threw millions of users into panic and confusion. Paracetamol has for centuries been pronounced Para-seata-mo...

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Funny story: Cocaine Abuse Commonplace In The Premiership

Cocaine Abuse Commonplace In The Premiership

A leading drug baron who doesn't wish to be named has made the astonishing allegation that cocaine abuse is an everyday occurrence among the highly paid stars of football's Premier League. "There's loads of 'em at it," the criminal alleged. "There...

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Funny story: Osama spent retirement tending his skunk crop

Osama spent retirement tending his skunk crop

Abbottabad - The medicinal marijuana licence was personally issued by the High Province Governor to help Old Bin Bag deal with a congenital deficiency. "Yep, Old Binnie - as we called him round here - was a typical stoner," Tory Bora resident Oma...

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Funny story: New Book Reveals That Lassie Was A Right Old Dog

New Book Reveals That Lassie Was A Right Old Dog

Some shocking revelations emerge in Seymour Basilca's recently released biography, "Lassie Was A Right Old Dog," alleging that Hollywood's all time canine favourite was no better than any other old dog. The book portrays Lassie as a hard drinking,...

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Funny story: VP Biden Nods Off During Hearing Concerning Air Traffic Controllers Sleeping on Job!

VP Biden Nods Off During Hearing Concerning Air Traffic Controllers Sleeping on Job!

Vice President Joe Biden, often accused of being asleep at the switch himself , said there was no excuse for the recent spate of potentially dangerous incidents of Airport Controllers leaving their panels for a snooze or a quickie and blamed Ronald R...

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Funny story: Obama To Announce Formation Of "Department Of Drug Cartel" To Balance Budget

Obama To Announce Formation Of "Department Of Drug Cartel" To Balance Budget

The Associated Press released an early excerpt from President Obama's speech to the Nation this afternoon in which the President will declare that the war against the Mexican drug cartels has been a well documented failure. Using the well worn m...

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Funny story: Shropshire Police Chief Criminalises The Drawing Of Spliffs

Shropshire Police Chief Criminalises The Drawing Of Spliffs

In the struggle to have their staff named "most obnoxiously meddling British police department", Police chiefs have resorted to some pretty lowdown tactics. There have been many instances of police being forced to focus their precious time on prosecu...

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Funny story: Police Forces Adopt New Speed Guidelines

Police Forces Adopt New Speed Guidelines

Many police forces in England and Wales have issued new guidelines that allow their officers to use 'speed' or amphetamine to stimulate their senses and enable them to work longer. Police spokesman Detective Inspector Leo Thornton explains : "I...

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Funny story: Sheen Punks Detroit but Fans Beg Him to Return

Sheen Punks Detroit but Fans Beg Him to Return

Charlie Sheen opened his "I'm out of a job and need a gig" comedy tour in Detroit to an unexpected but resounding set of audience initiated "Boos". Though Sheen offered a few carefully chosen four letter words about the city and his audience the foll...

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Funny story: Crack Whores Report Higher Than Expected 1st Quarter Earnings

Crack Whores Report Higher Than Expected 1st Quarter Earnings

Going into this afternoon's earnings report, analysts had been expecting to see crack whores report earnings of 50 cents per share. Excluding one time items, crack whores stated their quarterly earnings were 54 cents. During the same period last y...

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Funny story: Grumpy Happy as Doc Gets Dopey then Sent to Celebrity Rehab

Grumpy Happy as Doc Gets Dopey then Sent to Celebrity Rehab

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are back in the news after fifteen years of living in comfort and relative obscurity in their own private Hollywood Hills complex. Despite lucrative profit sharing from their last re-mastered DVD release, the troubles...

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Funny story: Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Mad Rocker Pete Doherty has been arrested after breaking into a record shop in the Bavarian town of Regensburg in Germany. The former Libertines & Babyshambles frontman was caught stealing a bundle of records and also a guitar. An eye-witness...

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Funny story: Mr Sheen to sue

Mr Sheen to sue

Mr Sheen, well known for "shining umpteen things clean" is taking actor Charlie Sheen to court. The professional cleaner, often seen sporting a handlebar moustache, leather flying jacket, flowing scarf (get on with it!) and pilot's cap is said to...

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Funny story: New mothers swap booze and cigarette vouchers for cannabis

New mothers swap booze and cigarette vouchers for cannabis

London - Pregnant women on DSS handouts have used NHS cigarette and alcohol vouchers for medicinal skunk. Last year half a million new and almost-mothers were given some £300 per annum in coupons to spend in local corner shops. Instead most of...

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Funny story: Gaddafi Blames Bin Laden

Gaddafi Blames Bin Laden

Under fire Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi has blamed bin laden for the demonstrations that are wreaking havoc in his country. In a phone call to a TV station, the autocrat said that "a bin laden with a large haul of cannabis seized by Tripo...

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