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Funny satire stories about Diet

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Funny story: Paris Hilton bulimic?

Paris Hilton bulimic?

Twin Towers, Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Shrinks at the Twin Towers jail psych ward have reported that Paris Hilton may be bulimic and could have carefully hidden her addition to self-purging for over a decade. The petulant heiress has spent two ni...

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Funny story: Sperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter

Sperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter

Scientists have today announced that human sperm can be genetically modified to include nutritional information and a calorie counter. The breakthrough follows years of abstinence by women who claim that sperm is fattening.

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Funny story: The Zone Diet - It really works! says Karen Carpenter

The Zone Diet - It really works! says Karen Carpenter

With ringing endorsements from such A-list celebs as Karen Carpenter and Nicole Richie, the Zone diet, devised by Dr J Sears from the Institute for Tubby Losers, has taken the world by storm and, despite the high profile deaths of se...

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Funny story: Poor Dick's Almanac, Part IV

Poor Dick's Almanac, Part IV

You may think, perhaps, that a little tea, or a little punch or a tiny lay now and then, diet a little more costly, clothes a little...

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Funny story: 1400lbs Man Undergoes Drain Clearance

1400lbs Man Undergoes Drain Clearance

A man who used to weigh more than 1400lbs (100 stones) has won an award for 'slimming', after wilfully ditching around 65% of his body weight in just three months. More amazing still, is that, this 3-month 'weightcrash' included the annual festive Ch...

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Funny story: Tyra Banks lusts for large beasts

Tyra Banks lusts for large beasts

Gasp and hold your breath. Yes it seems Tyra Banks is heading for the plus size section of Walmart.

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Funny story: 800 Pounds Lighter, Dem Markets "Dicks Diet" To The Masses

800 Pounds Lighter, Dem Markets "Dicks Diet" To The Masses

WASHINGTON - Like many ex-athletes, Rep. Norm Dicks started packing on weight when he left the gridiron. The former University of Washington linebacker struggled for years with diet after diet, and each time the blubber came bouncing back.

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Funny story: NY Trans Fat Ban Will Severely Limit Food Options

NY Trans Fat Ban Will Severely Limit Food Options

New York City's ban on trans fats will permit city residents to consume only a handful of foods such as cabbage, tofu, and chewing gum. Starting in 2008, New Yorkers will have to settle for eating to live rather than living to eat. Manhattan...

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Funny story: New No Calorie Diet Promises Extreme Weight Loss

New No Calorie Diet Promises Extreme Weight Loss

First there was No-Carb then Some-Carb then Low-Fat then No-Fat until finally along came the All-The-Cabbage-You-Can-Eat-Without-Barfing diet. Now, thanks to the miracle of the late night Infomercial you too for only 4 easy payments of blah blah blah...

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Funny story: Jared Fogle Spotted Going Biggie Size at Wendy's

Jared Fogle Spotted Going Biggie Size at Wendy's

Subway spokesman and former fattie Jared Fogle, who became famous for losing 350 pounds on his own Subway diet, was spotted yesterday by customers at a Wendy's restaurant. One restaurant employee, on conditions of anonymity, said that "Jare...

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Funny story: Victoria Beckham and Nicole Richie vaporize during workout

Victoria Beckham and Nicole Richie vaporize during workout

Los Angeles (CA) - The two celebrities were working out at Size 0 Gym, an exclusive Beverly Hills health spa, where they instantly vaporized before a packed crowd. The workout instructor was a little shaken after the incident, "These two ladies...

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Funny story: Famished Tigers Feed Off Crowd (Literally!)

Famished Tigers Feed Off Crowd (Literally!)

On Saturday the Detroit Tigers clinched a spot in their first World Series since 1984. These Tigers were fed a steady diet of losing since about the mid- 90's and they were ravished. Upon winning against the Oakland A's in a sweep after a wal...

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Funny story: Diets proven to work! Or do they?

Diets proven to work! Or do they?

Shockwaves rippled through the diet industry yesterday as new findings by the University of Liverpool were released about the effectiveness of diets. Shockingly the report was unequivocal in its support of diets, especially crash diets, to lose weig...

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Funny story: Jennifer Lopez Favors Fruit Diet!

Jennifer Lopez Favors Fruit Diet!

"My butt was getting way too big!" exclaimed Jennifer Lopez. The actress/singer -- also known as J-Lo to millions of fans - parked her well formed derriere on a comfortable chair in the offices of TheSpoof.com and began answering several questions po...

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Funny story: Sigourney Weaver Considers Early Man

Sigourney Weaver Considers Early Man

Early humans living alongside great apes may have gained a competitive evolutionary advantage by embracing a primitive form of the Atkins diet, according to new research published this week by the University of Southern California.

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Funny story: New Weight Loss Plan: The M&M's Diet

New Weight Loss Plan: The M&M's Diet

Nutrition experts at candy company M&M Mars have released the newest weight lost method to hit the market: the M&M's diet. Selections from an interview with company spokesman, Skip Wiffleball, are listed below:...

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Funny story: Dietary Breakthrough - New Technology ‘Cleanses' Food of Calories

Dietary Breakthrough - New Technology ‘Cleanses' Food of Calories

Palo Alto, CA -- Chemical Engineers at the world famous All-You-Can-Eat Nutrition Research Laboratory 24/7 Drive-Through have perfected a procedure that will turn the diet and nutrition world upside-down: they've found a way to separate the foods we...

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