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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: Second 'Staying Alive' fatality in as many days

Second 'Staying Alive' fatality in as many days

Following on from a previous story, a second fatality has arisen as a result of the Vinnie Jones 'Stayin Alive' resuscitation advert. For those who haven't seen the advert, viewers are advised to compress the chest of the unconscious victim and de...

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Funny story: Apple patent dying, cure mortality at a stroke

Apple patent dying, cure mortality at a stroke

Computer megalomaniacs, Apple, have produced their broadest and boldest patent to date by patenting dying. With exorbitant licence fees for anybody dying more and more people are putting off their deaths until they have saved up enough to pay the fee...

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Funny story: Doctors Should Be Allowed To Assist The Terminally Deluded To Die, Says Think Tank

Doctors Should Be Allowed To Assist The Terminally Deluded To Die, Says Think Tank

A government think tank has finally published the results of an investigation, conducted in order to determine whether doctors have a moral responsibility to assist in the demise of the terminally deluded. One instance cited in the report concerne...

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Funny story: "Strong case" for assisted dying

"Strong case" for assisted dying

There is a "strong case" for allowing assisted suicide for people who are terminally ill in England and Wales, a group of experts says. With the economy looking fragile, it can be expensive to keep an elderly loved one alive, particularly if they...

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Funny story: David Cameron issues call for three days of official mourning following Pat Butcher's death

David Cameron issues call for three days of official mourning following Pat Butcher's death

As the nation mourns the passing of Pat Butcher in EastEnders, Prime Minster David Cameron has decided that there will now be three days of official mourning. Speaking from the balcony of No 10 Downing Street, an injured Prime Minister (who fell o...

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Funny story: Death is on the Increase: Best ever year for Grim Reaper!

Death is on the Increase: Best ever year for Grim Reaper!

The number of deaths has reached an all time high within the past week or so. The Institute of Death has reported that more people than ever are dying in the UK at a rate considered unimaginable only a few years ago. "The paradox is that people a...

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Funny story: New Company Offers Post-mortem Cosmetic Surgery

New Company Offers Post-mortem Cosmetic Surgery

Cheapskates Ahoy! A new form of plastic surgery is now available, and it's completely painless and astonishingly cheap! A yet-to-be-named firm, which plans to launch other death-related ideas, has a motto: "Look Your Best at Your Funeral-on the Ch...

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Funny story: Boy dies from Facebook addiction

Boy dies from Facebook addiction

A 12 year old boy from Seoul, South Korea, has died after updating his Facebook status continuously for 50 hours. He appears to have been caught in a cycle of infinite self-description, which also killed a Wyoming man last month. This happens whe...

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Funny story: Celebrations as Apple launches innovative 'IDeath'

Celebrations as Apple launches innovative 'IDeath'

It was champagne all round as the sales team of the Apple Company uncorked a bottle celebrating the launch of its revolutionary new product the IDeath. Following the release of previous successes ITunes and IPod, this latest innovation attempts to br...

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Funny story: Bon Jovi Alive but Generalissimo Francisco Franco is Still Dead

Bon Jovi Alive but Generalissimo Francisco Franco is Still Dead

Still fighting Internet rumors and that the 80's rock legend had indeed passed away, Bon Jovi appeared in front of the press this morning holding up a sign that read simply, "I am not dead". Hoping the quick photo op would quell additional rumors...

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Funny story: Homeless baby boomers overdue for death

Homeless baby boomers overdue for death

Newly-homeless baby-boomers are dying minutes after leaving their former homes. As reported in the press here, it is expected that younger people will live shorter lives (up to thirty years less) if they are homeless. Our source, Dr. Offincaye, r...

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Funny story: India Inhaling Death

India Inhaling Death

INDIA - In the wake of many deaths by methanol in India, the resurgence of aspartame inhalation is rampant. According to our source, staff doctor, Dr. Whine Galena, when inhaled, pure aspartame releases enough methanol to produce a narcotic 'high'...

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Funny story: Death in a Pissoir

Death in a Pissoir

Stewart: When's he going to get here? Tracy: I don't know. Stewart: Soon, you think? Tracy: I don't know I said. He'll get here. Stewart: It's been hours since you sent for him. Tracy: He'll get here. Stewart: He's big. Tracy: He's big. Stewart: It all started with the Rockefeller Christmas tree case, didn't it? Tracy: It did. Stewart: Before my time.

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Funny story: Ebola vaccine success in New Jersey

Ebola vaccine success in New Jersey

Ocean City, N.J. Scientists tested a new vaccine: protecting mice from the Ebola virus, according to an obscure journal entry brought to our attention by local policeman, Constable Finass, who is investigating the possible related disappearance of hu...

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Funny story: Elderly Patients Being Commenced To Death Pathway With Non-Terminal Conditions

Elderly Patients Being Commenced To Death Pathway With Non-Terminal Conditions

Elderly hospital patients are being assessed by doctors as dying and then commenced onto something called 'The Liverpool Care pathway' even though they may not be presenting any known terminal condition. The 'care' pathway, originally designed to be...

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Funny story: Six Hundred Million Chinese die after drinking Choka-Chinka

Six Hundred Million Chinese die after drinking Choka-Chinka

(Rooters) - Choka-Chinka Co protested Tuesday the healthfulness of its ham drinks proffered in northern China, decrying the link to the death of six hundred million Chinese people who had consumed the drinks. Choka-Chinka executives even went so far...

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Funny story: Want to live forever? There's an app for that

Want to live forever? There's an app for that

The must have applelet that humanity has been waiting for has finally hit the iStore: iMortal. The iMortal app will let the owner live forever. "Astounding," said App World! editor, Mac Buck. "Amazing. Astonishing. Words cannot begin to express...

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