Britain's "red-top" papers have reacted to the FIFA vote to give the 2018 World Cup to Russia in a satisfyingly predictable way.
One banner headline reads: "Russkies Take Blatter Up The Arse In Vote Fixing Scandal!"
Another blames CONCACAF pow...
Aleksandr Orlov. The funny little meerkat every British household wants a doll of, just to have him given to your dog as a Christmas present.
Now the proud mascot of Moscow as he was the first to celebrate the Russian success.
In a fixed vote,...
Aston Villa have this evening confirmed that midfield maestro Stephen Ireland has agreed to play in this weekends fixture against Liverpool.
The Villa spokesman went on to state that as the Villa fixture doesn't clash with any soap omnibuses Irel...
Penny came through the door and told Terry: 'I've been to Upton Park and had a real surprise.'
'I'll guess. Manchester United only beat West Ham 3-0'.
'Am I close?'
'Not a draw?'
'We got a penalty in the last minute and won 1-0?'
'Penny. You've got to tell me.'
'We won 4-0! The worst deafeat for Manchester United since a...
England's latest world cup failure is easy to explain. It has nothing to do with handbags, wags or Panorama - but has a more down to earth explanation - Gary Lineker's confession that he had shat himself during a game in the 1990 World Cup Finals.
Zurich, SWITZERLAND: England's World's Cup bid was humiliatingly destroyed as FIFA revealed that the England bid won just two votes.
2018 World Cup bid voting.
First round: England 2 votes. Belgium-Netherlands 4. Spain-Portugal 7. Russia 9. (E...
Italian badboy Mario Balotelli last night stunned radio listeners with a foul-mouthed outburst live on air.
The Man City ace was a special guest on a football based show, and did little to change the perception that he is an overpaid premadonna.
The Moon has been selected to host the 2026 World Cup it was announced today.
FIFA are keen to bring the World Cup to places that are undeveloped in economic and football terms and the Moon's bid fulfilled both those criteria.
The lack of stad...
London - (Nuptial Tosspots): You can blame Clarence House tosspots for this one - or whoever else picked the 65th anniversary of Hitler's Berlin bunker wedding to Eva Braun as next year's Wills and Kate nuptials.
That's the message from Zurich ton...
Georgie Snuffeloffogos, Head of London's Zoo's Aquarium Department, was a little upset after hearing that England would NOT be hosting the 2018 Football World Cup after losing the bid to Russia.
Georgie said he had started training his Octopus, Mi...
In a total sham, which left the Queen in tears and Prince William berating the injustice, the 'FIFA Fools' went for Russia to stage the 2018 World Cup.
'It is clearly a fix' declared William 'the Russians got it because they backed Qatar to get th...
England football fans and players were in tears after losing the bid for England to host the 2018 World Cup.
Even Beckam and Wills were sniffling when the cameras weren't on them, consoling each other, with snot running from their noses.
One of the Match of the Day pundits has stepped out of line and blasted an unprecedented tirade at the Premier League and football authorities.
The outburst was made during filming of last Saturday's episode but was edited out before broadcast.
Former Liverpool FC player Yossi Benayoun has made sensational claims that an ex-team mate tired to eat him during his time on Merseyside.
Benayoun stunned reporters when he lifted the lid on the cannibalistic ways of an old colleague.
The announcement today from Iran that they had publicly hung a soccer wag, the mistress of a former soccer star, has sent a tremor of terror and trepidation though the sports world, especially in the UK where the practice of being a 'temp' has beco...
In the wake of his teams 5-0 thrashing at the hands of Barcelona, Real Madrid head coach Jose Mourinho has refused to acknowledge the result.
Mourinho said, "It was obvious for all to see that we deserved the points and I am looking forward to mai...
As the snow flew on that Godforsaken hovel, otherwise known as Upton Park, Manchester United fans sneaked out of the stadium following a 4-0 defeat to the mighty bubble blowing West Ham ICF merchants.
United fan, Jarbo the Killer, admitted that Un...
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