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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Gary Neville's Body Retires From Football, Chin Vows To Carry On

Gary Neville's Body Retires From Football, Chin Vows To Carry On

In an unusual, but unsurprising move, Gary Neville's body has announced that it is to retire from Association Football - effective immediately. However in a separate shock press conference, his chin has vowed to carry on, and would even consider s...

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Funny story: Manchester United Star Gary Neville Hangs Boots Up

Manchester United Star Gary Neville Hangs Boots Up

Manchester United have announced in a statement on their website this morning that former captain Gary Neville has hung his boots up. Neville, 35, who has made a staggering 602 appearances for the Reds, decided to hang the boots up in the corner o...

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Funny story: Gary Neville (Manchester United) Retires After Unbelievable Career

Gary Neville (Manchester United) Retires After Unbelievable Career

Gary Neville, the Manchester United and former England right-back, has announced his retirement from professional game, and all connected with football will be sad to see him go. Neville, 44, joined United from school, aged 8, in 1956, and has ma...

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Funny story: Mubarak Enlists Help from Premiership

Mubarak Enlists Help from Premiership

Under pressure Egyptian President Mubarak has taken the unprecedented step of turning to sources in Tyneside in a desperate attempt to extend his 30 year reign in the troubled country. Having found it increasingly difficult to control events on th...

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Funny story: Liverpool Celebrates As Gary Neville Calls It A Day

Liverpool Celebrates As Gary Neville Calls It A Day

The city of Liverpool erupted in party mode today following the announcement by Manchester United and England defender Gary Neville that he is hanging up his boots. For good. A lifelong United fan who made 602 appearances for the club he loved,...

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Funny story: U.K's Cheapest Footballer Sold For Just 13 Pence

U.K's Cheapest Footballer Sold For Just 13 Pence

With headlines ablaze over the fantastical transfer figures being bandied about this week, Sports Frustrated decided to seek out the U.K's lowest priced footballer. Fernando Torres, once trusted and revered Liverpool team member, now just a big tu...

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Funny story: Commander Comrade Dalglish bolsters 'Anfieldgrad'

Commander Comrade Dalglish bolsters 'Anfieldgrad'

This is 'Anfieldgrad', filing a NEWS REPORT from the banks of the River Mersey. We, the surrounded loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', issue the following statement from Cmdr Comrade Dalglish; "On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson, whilst suffering the fiercest cold Winter, battle fatigue and desertions, was relieved of his command and I took over the leadership here at Anfieldgrad." "We have b...

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Funny story: 'These fees are crazy' FA

'These fees are crazy' FA

The closing of the transfer window just after the fees for some footballers have risen to £50 million or more, has caused the organisation Fall About to react with derision. 'How much do you get for a dive?' asked one FA member 'when I saw one foo...

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Funny story: Andy Caroll joins Liverpool, told to get a hair cut

Andy Caroll joins Liverpool, told to get a hair cut

Andy Carroll, the hero of Tyneside is set to become the hero of Merseyside, but only if he gets a hair cut. "It was bad enough that Torres used to wear a headband," said lifelong Liverpool fan and Newcastle boss, Alan Pardew. "But Andy wears a scr...

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Funny story: Carroll and Suarez relieve Fernando Torres at 'Anfieldgrad'

Carroll and Suarez relieve Fernando Torres at 'Anfieldgrad'

This is 'Anfieldgrad' on the banks of the River Mersey. We, the loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', are surrounded by an opposition force, without Fernando Torres. 'Anfieldgrad' is cut off from humanity. On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffered the fiercest cold Winter, whereupon Von Hodgson WALKED ALONE down the M62 ALONE, with a few Million Rubles into oblivion! The beleagured Comm...

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Funny story: Andy Gray Gay SKYY Sports Exclusive

Andy Gray Gay SKYY Sports Exclusive

Former SKY Sports pundit, Andy Gray, who has apparently - from what I can gather - been sacked from his job at the channel due to some sort of sexist remark, or remarks, is gay. And that, in its entirety, is the story. Made-up story, of course. I...

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Funny story: Battle fatigued Fernando Torres leaves 'Anfieldgrad'

Battle fatigued Fernando Torres leaves 'Anfieldgrad'

This is 'Anfieldgrad' on the banks of the River Mersey. We are surrounded by opposing forces and cut off from humanity. On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffering the fiercest cold Winter and Von Hodgson took a walk down the M62 ALONE with...

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Funny story: Manchester United Defeats Southampton 2-1 On Chicharito's Goal Which He Dedicated To Girlfriend Shakira

Manchester United Defeats Southampton 2-1 On Chicharito's Goal Which He Dedicated To Girlfriend Shakira

SOUTHHAMPTON, England - Manchester United's Javier Hernandez Balcazar, aka Chircharito scored the come-from-behind goal to help the Red Devils defeat the Southampton Saints 2-1 before a crowd of close to 29,000 fans. After the game Javier told BBC...

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Funny story: Torres - Please release me

Torres - Please release me

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres, seemingly wants to be looking at the exit door at Anfield. To go to Chelsea. Seems it's a question of personal choice, and not, as has been suggested in some quarters, a case of 'tapping up' a contractually oblig...

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Funny story: Shamed, unnamed Premier League footy stars caught on film with their D&G pants down!

Shamed, unnamed Premier League footy stars caught on film with their D&G pants down!

Two unknown unnamed, over-paid and very horny Premier League footy stars have been caught with their designer pants down on video. Every footy fan in the UK is asking who the hell could be so stupid as to get caught having a "gang-bang" on video...

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Funny story: 'Don't blame the officials - blame the players,' says Sir Trev.

'Don't blame the officials - blame the players,' says Sir Trev.

According to the FA's Director of Football Development, Sir Trevor Brooking, the future prospects of England's football team in international competitions will be greatly increased with the intended opening next year of the £100 million National Fo...

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Funny story: You are never too old to learn - Susan Boyle is in training to become football official

You are never too old to learn - Susan Boyle is in training to become football official

You are never too old to learn something new. Having heard and read the news of male sports announcers ridiculing a female referee's assistant - hinting at the fact that she should learn 'the offside rule', Susan Boyle was extremely upset and decided to do something about it. "Och! A was reet mad when A heard about those chappies meckking fun o' the wee lassie. She go' the 'call' right! Who...

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