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Funny story: Adult acne and homeless cat problems solved

Adult acne and homeless cat problems solved

A new study by the Cornell University, School of Medicine, Dermatology Department has seemed to have made significant strides in alleviating two problems that have appeared unrelated up till now. It has been discovered that cat saliva may have a c...

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Funny story: Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

In theoretical physics and cosmological circles there has been a good mannered debate raging for several decades over what is holding all the matter in galaxies together. "It's quite simple," said Brian Cox, presenter of The Sky At Night. "When we...

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Funny story: Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Physicists recently made headlines by announcing their discovery of the Higgs boson-the long sought-after, so-called "God Particle." The God Particle would explain pretty much everything in the universe. Or so the media report. According to reputable...

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Funny story: NASA to Research Particle Theory of Galactic Fairness

NASA to Research Particle Theory of Galactic Fairness

WASHINGTON, DC - While the scientists at CERN in Europe spent July 4th announcing their discovery of a Higgs Boson particle, America's government scientists at NASA were busy writing a "brilliant" thesis on why they are not "losers." While the scient...

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Funny story: Humanity Doomed Due to Slippy Fisted Scientist

Humanity Doomed Due to Slippy Fisted Scientist

Humanity's fate was sealed earlier today when a vial containing the genetically engineered super virus known as "EbolaThrax" was dropped at a secure lab facility deep within the Pentagon. Multiple contributing factors are apparently to blame for the...

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Funny story: Recession Caused by Vengeful Deity

Recession Caused by Vengeful Deity

According to a startling new discovery by a joint co-operative research team consisting of economists and scientists from both MIT and the London School of Economics, the current recession was in fact caused by an incensed and indignant supreme, omni...

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Funny story: The Mystery of The Man-Eating Hedge Pt I

The Mystery of The Man-Eating Hedge Pt I

The Conundrum Club, London, 1895 Colonel Gulper (CG): This Carpetbag Steak's damned chewy, what? Reverend Milke (RM): With respect, Colonel, that is a carpetbag you've got on your plate. CG: What? Of course it's a carpetbag, you fool. I just said it was a carpetbag, a deuced chewy one, or are you going deaf in your old age, Reverend, what? RM: No, Colonel, that is a bag, a carpet bag.

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Funny story: CERN announces discovery of Satan particle

CERN announces discovery of Satan particle

Scientists at CERN today announced that they had discovered the Satan particle, which has the same mass and spin as the God particle, but opposite charge. When a God particle and a Satan particle collide, the two annihilate each other and energy is r...

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Funny story: Ovary Transplants to end the Menopause

Ovary Transplants to end the Menopause

Celebrations were in full flow at the Grey Locks nursing home in Krupton today as four residents all gave birth to bouncing babies on the same day. Agnes Smith, aged ninety six, who underwent her first ever Caesarian to give birth to baby Karen s...

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Funny story: Orb-Web Spider's Removable Penis Finishes Without Him. Lucky Orb-Spider.

Orb-Web Spider's Removable Penis Finishes Without Him. Lucky Orb-Spider.

Orb-Web Spider's Removable Penis Finishes Without Him. Lucky Orb-Spider. Dig if you will a picture: It's 6:30AM. You have 45 minutes to shit, shower and shave before you trudge off to the job that is slowly sucking your life-force away. Ripping Your Own Yogurt Chucker Off, Mid-hump, Makes As Much Sense... ... as calling a story with no actual names "too defamatory". Sadly, both happen more...

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Funny story: Elvis robot to be created

Elvis robot to be created

SAN DIEGO - Elvis may not be alive now, but if his band has their way, he will be rejoining them by 2014. According to Japanese scientist Yohounddoe Otatiem, a robot that will be indistinguishable from Elvis at a distance of 10 meters will be ready...

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Funny story: Intelligent Design want a change to the order of lessons

Intelligent Design want a change to the order of lessons

New research in cognitive behaviour has shown that the order in which we learn affects what we learn. "We believe that maths is deliberately taught before religious education," said Michael Beye, spokesman for the Discovery Institute, the militant...

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Funny story: US Armed Services Endorse PTSD Name Change

US Armed Services Endorse PTSD Name Change

(Washington) It has been called shell shock, battle fatigue, soldier's heart and most recently, post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. Now, US military officers and psychiatrists are embroiled in a heated debate over whether to change the name of a...

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Funny story: Science Succeeds in Solving Age Old Mystery

Science Succeeds in Solving Age Old Mystery

After years of investigation and millions of dollars in government grants, an age old question has been answered using in depth probing that science has become so expert at. Professor Ima Schmitor, PHD, MAD, SOB, Dean of Snooker University, Chairm...

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Funny story: Nature and Vacuum Make Peace

Nature and Vacuum Make Peace

In a shocking but awe-inspiring turn of events, two seemingly intractable enemies, Nature and the vacuum, have finally made peace. It has long been known that "Nature abhors a vacuum." And indeed, scientists and theologians alike had considered th...

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Funny story: Parallel Universe Blows; Perpendicular Universe Where It's At

Parallel Universe Blows; Perpendicular Universe Where It's At

A newly published report by Dr. Beatrice Bender, Director of the New Center for Science, dismisses parallel universes as a waste of time; according to Dr. Bender, the perpendicular universe is where it's at. Announced Dr. Bender, "People want scie...

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Funny story: Science Reports Good News and Bad News About Meaning of Life

Science Reports Good News and Bad News About Meaning of Life

Are you a spiritual seeker? Hundreds of Americans reportedly are. For instance, for his whole life, Josh Carlton of New York City has been trying to find love. Stephanie Lambert of San Francisco wants to find the meaning of life. For Leigh Shields o...

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