It is bad news for children this coming festive period as Santa's annual delivery process has been halted following news that the Elf for Safety has deemed his workshop and delivery methods unsafe. The Safety Elf, Little Paul, concluded a six mont...
Point Barrow, AK - (Rudolph's News Service) The ET (Elvish Technology) Service reported that the mainframe at the North Pole had been hacked earlier today. Items removed from the computer system designed by O. McDonald and Sons featuring E.I.E.I.O (E...
A revealing new expose about Santa Claus has North Pole public relations management team scrambling for answers and a potential spin on recent New York news reports. Found in multiple after-hours clubs in and around New York this past weekend, an...
North Pole - Santa Claus has filed a class action lawsuit against the United States stemming from what Santa says was specific targeting of him, his sleigh and his reindeer. Santa Claus claims that last Wednesday he was doing preliminary flig...
Mrs. Edna Clausington of 23 Tonbridge Street, Barnsbury, was reportedly the source of a large public gathering and traffic flow interruption this past Saturday near Housmans Bookshop, as she was mistaken for the actual Mrs. Claus. "Everything else...
With zero hour approaching and Christmas only days away, the North Pole Health Services have yet to release Mr. Kringle's primary sleigh team from their mandatory counseling and treatment program. Forced into the program after numerous reports of...
Santa Claus, beardy bundle of Chrimbo fun and present giver to the good, has released a press statement this morning through his PR agent, Murky Dyke. "My client wants it to be known that with Christmas looming, he feels it only right to give the...
Santa Claus admitted in an interview after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that United States President Barack Obama will remain on the naughty list for another year. "I don't want anyone to make anything racial out of this," said that Jolly Ol...
Santa Claus, jolly old man and Christmas cheer giver, has sensationally hit out at the government this week, after reports that he is being forced to take on an apprentice. The fat old man said "it's preposterous. I'm a free agent, how can that bu...
Hours of negotiations,arm twisting, and begging have finally paid off. A Senate Democratic spokesman said, "We've made historic progress with our La. and Ar. hold-outs, a compromise has been agreed to and will be ratified by mail." It looks...
Busy finishing his list and then checking it twice, Santa Claus, figurehead of some Western commercial holiday notoriety, caught one of his employees doing the Christmas shuffle with his wife in the back of his Sleigh. Shocked then infuriated, Cla...
Santa Claus was found one week ago strangled in the North Pole with no evidence except for a few strands of hair which belonged to Count Dracula. He was brought into questioning and claimed he was at the North Pole to play poker with the invisible m...
It seems that the global economic downturn has affected more than just our high street stores and hot dog vendors. In scenes never witnessed before by mankind, a drunk and penniless Santa Clause stood swaying atop a two foot high snow drift, threa...
Father Christmas alias Santa has given a world-wide exclusive interview from his Igloo somewhere in melting Greenland wishing to clear all doubts about his sexuality! Santa invited Bizarre reporters from the Sun but they were to busy chasing Chery...
San Fransisco, CA: Prominent atheist groups met this week to announce the formulation of a positive promotional icon to represent their cause to children this holiday season. According to the group, the new icon will attempt not only to change the p...
In a follow-up story to one that this publication printed yesterday, our reporters have learned that Santa has been inundated with requests for his cloned lingerie models ( see original story here by Bargis Tryhol ). The requests for these models, h...
News is just arriving from Lapland that Father Christmas is to make a bid for the Irish sports broadcaster Setanta, which went into administration in June 2009. Setanta was set up in 1990 to provide sporting coverage for Irish ex pats, and operate...
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