Showing:

Funny satire stories about Rob Pattinson

Try another search?

Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Attacked By Daleks!

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Attacked By Daleks!

In a spirited attempt to rack up as many stories as possible for a given month, crap website TheSpoof.com has plumbed new depths in its search for an informed readership. By claiming that Twilight stars, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were a...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson Afraid He Will Hurt Kristen Stewart During Twilight Love Scenes

Robert Pattinson Afraid He Will Hurt Kristen Stewart During Twilight Love Scenes

The latest out of Brazil is that Twilight star Robert Pattinson is afraid he might hurt his co-star and lover Kristen Stewart during some rough and tumble love scenes in the next film. "Kristen is a small lady and I would like for us to use stand-...

Read full story
Funny story: Adam Lambert Tops Robert Pattinson as Number One Sexiest Male!

Adam Lambert Tops Robert Pattinson as Number One Sexiest Male!

The Hollywood/NYC Poll shows that Adam Lambert, who has been touring over seas performing to sold out shows in Europe and it seems as if his hard work is finally starting to pay off for the former "American Idol" contestant. Adam Lambert has came in...

Read full story
Funny story: Taylor Swift: My Breasts Are Larger Than Those Of Kristen Stewart!

Taylor Swift: My Breasts Are Larger Than Those Of Kristen Stewart!

After being kidded about her small breasts by stand-up comedians for over two years now, a frustrated Taylor Swift suddenly stated that she is larger than Kristen Stewart! Hearing this, actress Kristen Stewart told reporters "How does she know? Sh...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson Is Told That Rush Limbaugh Started The Gay Rumor About Him And Zac Efron

Robert Pattinson Is Told That Rush Limbaugh Started The Gay Rumor About Him And Zac Efron

QUEENS, New York - Robert Pattinson was in town visiting an old high school friend Luigi "Knuckles" Scalatori when he was approached by a reporter for the local magazine publication Hey What It Is Yo? Pattinson was asked if he had heard about the...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson Will Shave His Head For New Movie Role

Robert Pattinson Will Shave His Head For New Movie Role

News out of Hollywood this morning is that "Twilight's" Robert Pattinson will soon shave his head for a role in an upcoming Science Fiction movie. "It's about the far future and there will be more than one film should the first one be successful...

Read full story
Funny story: Kristen Stewart Having CCD Will Not Change Wedding Plans!

Kristen Stewart Having CCD Will Not Change Wedding Plans!

Robert Pattinson says that he will stay with their plans and marry Kristen Stewart even though she has been diagnosed this week with having CCD. "I don't care what Kristen has. Let me rephrase, despite the fact that Kristen has been diagnosed with...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Love Naked Geometry

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Love Naked Geometry

"Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are the sexiest geeks in town! They bring tragic vampyre passion to the field of abstract math and topology. They like nothing better than to strip totally naked at their bohemian apartment in Much Wenlock, Shropshire, England, UK and go straight for the jugular with some serious homotopy shit. These kids are genuine bloodsucking boffins! Now for the first...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson to be Prince William's best man

Robert Pattinson to be Prince William's best man

Robert Pattinson has accidentally revealed that he is to be Prince William's best man at his wedding to Kate Middleton next June after Prince William sensationally announced that he would not be having his younger brother Harry as best man. Palace...

Read full story
Funny story: Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson To Star In The Movie, "The Pat Down Dudes Of LAX"

Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson To Star In The Movie, "The Pat Down Dudes Of LAX"

LOS ANGELES - Cripple Creek Pictures in association with Lions Face Films and the G-Spot Motion Picture Company has just announced that they will soon begin production on the Transportation Security Administration themed film The Pat Down Dudes of LA...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson Buys an Illegal Bike

Robert Pattinson Buys an Illegal Bike

In a truly bohemian act of fearless iconoclasm worthy of the pallid Dracula parody that he so gorgeously and hauntingly is (pass my fan, mother, for I am a-swooning), wan, elegantly-wasted Twilight childe-vampyre Robert Pattinson has spent a tastef...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In Bonnie And Clyde Remake

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In Bonnie And Clyde Remake

Executives at a major studio are confident that they are close to clinching a deal with Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart tying them to a remake of the 1967 gangster movie, Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were a...

Read full story
Funny story: Taylor Lautner/Taylor Swift Out-Cute Robert Pattinson/Kristen! In Contest!

Taylor Lautner/Taylor Swift Out-Cute Robert Pattinson/Kristen! In Contest!

In a new survey by six combined (Ages 14-24) popular magazines, the team of Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift received more votes than Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart who were a little miffed by the results! "I have nothing against either the T...

Read full story
Funny story: Round Two: Twilight Movie Delayed As Pattinson, Taylor Show Up With Black Eyes

Round Two: Twilight Movie Delayed As Pattinson, Taylor Show Up With Black Eyes

Guess that the Pattinson/Lautner war is still going on. As previously reported, the two are upset over a telephone call from Kristen Stewart to Pattinson with lots of sexy talk being accidentally (at least at first) overherard by Lautner. Accor...

Read full story
Funny story: Robert Pattinson Proposes To Kristen!

Robert Pattinson Proposes To Kristen!

The latest news from Twilight had been that star Robert Pattinson was going to make the proposal as Edward Cullen to Isabella a real one and that she would know that it's real because he will have designed the ring himself. They also reported that...

Read full story
Funny story: Taylor Lautner Decks Robert Pattinson!

Taylor Lautner Decks Robert Pattinson!

A smoldering argument between Taylor Lautner came to a head yesterday when Robert Pattinson gave Taylor Lautner a chest bump and got decked for his trouble! (See 'Kristen Stewart Tells Taylor Lautner Her Sexual Fantasies') What has happened to...

Read full story
Funny story: Ashley Greene: I'm Not Quite Through With The Pattinson Hunt!

Ashley Greene: I'm Not Quite Through With The Pattinson Hunt!

Ashley Greene says that everyone is so sure that Robert Pattinson is eventually going to marry his best friend, Kristen Stewart, but that she's not quite out of the running yet. Greene, who also appears in the Twilight movies, says that the fact t...

Read full story

Breaking news…
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more