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Funny satire stories about Republicans

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Funny story: Donald Trump Sports Hitler Haircut

Donald Trump Sports Hitler Haircut

Attendees at a recent Republican debate were surprised to see Donald Trump sporting a "Hitler" haircut, complete with a toothbrush mustache tattooed onto his upper lip. Before the words "Definite improvement" or "Accurate reflection of the man's id...

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Funny story: Anuta Polynesian Tribe Releases Statement to Preemptively Respond to a Potential Donald Trump Verbal Attack

Anuta Polynesian Tribe Releases Statement to Preemptively Respond to a Potential Donald Trump Verbal Attack

ANUTA ISLAND- "He's going to get around to insulting us sooner or later" was the sentiment echoed by the Anuta tribe of smallest inhabited location on the planet. The inhabitants of the tiny Polynesian island, Anuta, have released a statement whic...

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Funny story: Satirical News Writers Struggle to Create Exaggerated Headlines Concerning Donald Trump

Satirical News Writers Struggle to Create Exaggerated Headlines Concerning Donald Trump

Hollywood, CA and Planet Zorbion- A group of satirical news writers have expressed utter frustration in coming up with hyperbole-filled headlines and stories concerning Donald Trump. A 20-year veteran of the field, Mark Wadink, complained, "Any t...

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Funny story: Trump Launches Reelection Campaign

Trump Launches Reelection Campaign

Billionaire businessman and presidential hopeful Donald Trump is not going to wait until the 2016 Presidential election to launch his reelection campaign. He figures starting now will give him a head start on the 2020 campaign and will make getting...

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Funny story: Chorus Line Of GOP Candidates For President

Chorus Line Of GOP Candidates For President

There is a chorus line of candidates running for the GOP nomination for President of the United States. Miraculously missing are both Rudolph Giuliani and Dick Cheney. Everyone else seems to be in the running including Governor Woops (now spor...

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Funny story: Fox News Shelves Embarrassing Trump Interview

Fox News Shelves Embarrassing Trump Interview

As Donald Trump's presidential campaign continues to maintain its momentum, against all the laws of logic, an interview he gave to sultan of spin Sean Hannity has been pulled from schedules for fear of damaging his bid. The one on one, due to be b...

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Funny story: GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

GOP Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital to Have Cross Removed from Its Ass

WASHINGTON, D.C.--In what Dr. Amir Sudhardi, the colorectal surgeon who performed the operation, is calling one of the world's first crucilectomies, the GOP today had a huge crucifix removed from its rectum. The cross, which had been hobbling the Re...

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Funny story: Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

Trump Channels Barry White at Campaign Event

HOT SPRINGS, ARK--Donald Trump, speaking out of an aperture that he customarily uses for sitting, spoke, in a low bass voice, to his admirers at a campaign event in Arkansas, saying, "I've heard people say that too much of anything is not good for...

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Funny story: GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

GOP to "Consciously Uncouple" from Donald Trump

WASHINGTON, D. C.--Taking a page from Gwyneth Paltrow, the GOP announced today that it is going to "consciously uncouple" from its long-time partner, Donald Trump. Ever since Trump announced his bid for the presidency in mid-June, the couple, frie...

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Funny story: If elected president, Bobby Jindal's first executive order to abolish all mirrors.

If elected president, Bobby Jindal's first executive order to abolish all mirrors.

Baton Rouge, LA - In a recent press conference, Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal opened his remarks by stating that "within the first 90 days of a Jindal administration, any and all mirrors in federal and public facilities will be removed and shat...

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Funny story: Jeb Bush Calls for Mandatory Work Hours Increase

Jeb Bush Calls for Mandatory Work Hours Increase

Not only does Presidential Candidate Jeb Bush say that Americans need to work more hours in order to grow the struggling American economy, he also feels that they should be forced to work these extended hours. The Republican hopeful laid out his pla...

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Funny story: Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

Two Killed, Seven Injured in the Quadrennial Running of the Republicans

WASHINGTON, D.C.-This week in downtown Washington, two people were killed and seven injured in the quadrennial melee known as the Running of the Republicans. Rare in the Running of the Republicans, one bull was also killed when he was gored by a...

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Funny story: Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Limbaugh has turned over a new leaf and has started criticizing Republican candidates. Hey, that's a good thing, right? Well... maybe. Depends on how you look at it. After all, "Truth is what works," as one famous American famously said. Recently, on his viral (or at least highly virulent) radio show, "Rush the Magic White Boy," sinister allegations started circulating about Ted...

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Funny story: Jeb! _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

Jeb! _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President

MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...

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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton Goes In Search Of "The Little People"

Hillary Clinton set out on foot across Iowa yesterday from her Des Moine Hotel. Her goal: Find the little people everyone always talks about. "Well you don't know how people are until you actually meet them and I'm not going to step on those littl...

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Funny story: Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

Ayn Rand Zoo Opens, Closes, on the Same Day

IRVINE, CA--The new Ayn Rand Zoo, located in the same city that houses the Ayn Rand Institute and funded solely by private donors like Sheldon Adelson and Koch Industries, opened--and closed--last Wednesday in what Objectivist philosopher Leonard Pe...

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Funny story: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

DALLAS, TX--Gov. Greg Abbott, fearing an invasion by the federal government this week, called in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to ward off what many in the Loon Star State believe is an invasion designed to take over Texas and force all of its unins...

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