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Funny satire stories about Premiership

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Funny story: Changing Room Knee's-Up For Miserable Footballers

Changing Room Knee's-Up For Miserable Footballers

Premier League changing rooms will soon echo to the sound of nursery rhymes and other happy songs in a bid to cheer up depressed professional footballers. The news follows revelations by Stoke City striker Dave Kitson that players were being made...

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Funny story: Blackpool FC Move Into Champions League Spot

Blackpool FC Move Into Champions League Spot

Premier League newboys Blackpool clearly stated their intentions at the weekend when they crushed a limp-wristed Wigan Athletic 4-0 in their opening match of the campaign, and, in so doing, put themselves in a great position to claim a Champions Leag...

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Funny story: Premier League will launch a line of food products ahead of the new season

Premier League will launch a line of food products ahead of the new season

The English FA and the Premier League have got together in a new merchandising deal worth twenty million pounds, releasing a line of food products. First in the freezer cabinets of local supermarkets will be Aston Vanilla ice-cream, said by food c...

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Funny story: Blackpool FC Face New Drama Over Donkey Droppings

Blackpool FC Face New Drama Over Donkey Droppings

Premier League newboys, Blackpool FC, may have made it back into football's big time, but their long-suffering fans may have to wait just a tad longer to see their heroes in action, after FA executives put a block on the club playing at home until a...

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Funny story: Thierry Henry "Not Welcome" At Arsenal

Thierry Henry "Not Welcome" At Arsenal

Thierry Henry, the former Arsenal striker who, reports say, would one day "love to return to the Emirates" after he has finished his playing career, has been told he is not welcome there. Henry, it was, whose handball incident in the World Cup pla...

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Funny story: Manchester City Thought They Were Getting David Villa Not David Silva

Manchester City Thought They Were Getting David Villa Not David Silva

World's richest club Manchester City have admitted they've made a major pre-season blunder after signing Spanish winger David Silva for £24m - they thought he was David Villa. The bloomer came to light today after City organised a Press conference...

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Funny story: U2 re-release Sunday Bloody Sunday as the English admit, it's true!

U2 re-release Sunday Bloody Sunday as the English admit, it's true!

After grovelling to Northern Ireland Catholics about the happenings at the Bloody Sunday ordeal in 1972 the English Prime Minister has also requested that U2 re-release their sensational LP "Sunday Bloody Sunday". Freedom fighters, Bono and The Ed...

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Funny story: Liverpool New Manager Revealed

Liverpool New Manager Revealed

Liverpool have this morning unveiled their choice as new manager, and it will come as a complete shock to everyone to discover the name of the new Anfield boss - Reg Crabtree. Passing over the likes of Jose Mourinho, Martin O'Neill, Sven Goran Eri...

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Funny story: English Taxi Driver Murders Prove That Atrocities Don't Just Happen In Iraq

English Taxi Driver Murders Prove That Atrocities Don't Just Happen In Iraq

The 12 people that died in what has been described as 'a murder rampage' in the English town of Whitehaven when a taxi driver fundamentalist randomly shot dead members of the public before blowing himself up, proves that this kind of atrocity doesn't...

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Funny story: English Care Worker begins sentence

English Care Worker begins sentence

Ex Care Worker Bonita Crabtree begins her sentence today. Apparently Bonita Crabtree managed to get through the English school system, get her Social Sciences degree AND land a job in Social Work as a Carer without EVER beginning a sentence with a...

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Funny story: Didier Drogba launches new range of dummies and rattles

Didier Drogba launches new range of dummies and rattles

Chelsea centre forward Didier Drogba is set to open a shop in West London selling his own designer range of baby clothes and toys. The 6 foot 2 inch Ivory Coast international made the decision after Frank Lampard stepped up to take a penalty agai...

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Funny story: Premier League To Re-Introduce Short Shorts

Premier League To Re-Introduce Short Shorts

Football chiefs this morning agreed to join in the drive for greater brevity in all things by re-introducing short shorts of the type worn in the 1980's by soccer stars like Glenn Hoddle and Bryan Robson. One leading Premiership manager said that...

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Funny story: Image of Mohammed Found on English Sausage. Iran Declares War and Invades Kielbasastan

Image of Mohammed Found on English Sausage. Iran Declares War and Invades Kielbasastan

World tension, already engorged with blood, was stroked by the news reporting that the image of the great prophet of Islam was found on a banger. Outraged by the West's continued indifference to the sacred icon Iran declared war on Great Britain...

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Funny story: Wolves fined £25,000 for being crap

Wolves fined £25,000 for being crap

The Premier League fined relegation threatened Wolverhampton Wanderers for being totally crap when they lost 3-0 to Manchester United last December. Manager Mick McCarthy defended his team selection by saying that he picked a team that was in the...

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Funny story: Premiership in crisis as Sibylle Sibierski found dead

Premiership in crisis as Sibylle Sibierski found dead

Manchester - (Dumbstruck): "Is this part of a fully-fledged Premier League hex?" conspiracy nutters' website TinFoilHattersAnonymous.con asked today as ex-Man City striker Antoine Sibierski's daughter was found dead in an Altrincham apartment. Sib...

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Funny story: Pompey Whacked By Double Whammy

Pompey Whacked By Double Whammy

Pompey's woes continued last night as they were comprehensively beaten 4-1 by freewheeling Arsenal, with goals from Eduardo, Nasri, Ramsey, and Song. Belhadj scored the home team's single riposte. Portsmouth, languishing at the bottom of the Premi...

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Funny story: Torres: I'm Prettier Than Drogba

Torres: I'm Prettier Than Drogba

Liverpool pretty boy Fernando Torres has responded to remarks made by Didier Drogba, that come May the two will be very close at the top of the scoring charts. While Torres refused to deny this, he had a wholly different system of determining who is...

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