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Funny satire stories about Olympics

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Funny story: New athlete called Philip Sidowu to compete at London 2012

New athlete called Philip Sidowu to compete at London 2012

Plans for GB's athletics team have been thrown into confusion on the eve of the games with the appearance at the team's luke warm weather training camp in a field outside Keele Services off the M6 by the arrival of a new athlete. Looking remarkabl...

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Funny story: Team GB storms off over soccer flag mix-up

Team GB storms off over soccer flag mix-up

Britain's football team stormed off the pitch before their opening Olympics clash against Senegal on Thursday after the players' pictures were displayed on a video screen alongside the flag of Scotland. The contest at Old Trafford in Manchest...

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Funny story: Tintwistle brass band get to perform the national anthems at the Olympics

Tintwistle brass band get to perform the national anthems at the Olympics

Tintwistle Brass Band, from East Manchester, have been selected to play the national anthems for winning athletes during the Olympics. The band are the winners of the Brassed Off, the contest for Brass Bands held in the North West of England every Ju...

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Funny story: Olympic Flag Man Doses't Know His Arse from His Elbow Says Wife

Olympic Flag Man Doses't Know His Arse from His Elbow Says Wife

The wife of the man responsible for broadcasting the North Korean women's football team beside a South Korean flag says he is always making mistakes and doesn't know his arse from his elbow sometimes. Tommy McVeigh, 34, caused a major internationa...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 26th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 26th July 2012

Gareth Bale, 23, played for Tottenham against LA Galaxy in LA before Team GB kick off their Olympic campaign, despite being unavailable for Stuart Pearce's squad because of injury. It's a miracle I tell thee. Smelling salts and a sniff of sheep... Jermaine Pennant has been forced to miss Stoke's pre-season tour of the United States after being refused a working visa. His tag wasn't allowed ou...

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Funny story: Islamic Volleyball announced as new Olympic Sport for 2020

Islamic Volleyball announced as new Olympic Sport for 2020

Following on from the introduction of Beach Volleyball in the Atlanta 1996 Games, the next evolution of Volleyball is to be recognised in the 2020 Olympic Games. The increasingly popular sport of Beach Volleyball originated in Santa Monica, Calif...

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Funny story: Fifth Avenue celebrity astrologer ups Olympics ante

Fifth Avenue celebrity astrologer ups Olympics ante

New York - A stargazer-to-the-stars is warning of a deceptive line-up in the heavens this week as thousands of Americans flock to London to support the US Olympic team. Holly Grail, whose hunches include the 2005 discovery of the long-lost Leonard...

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Funny story: Pigs will fly at Olympics opener

Pigs will fly at Olympics opener

Director Danny Boyle has controversially agreed to demands from leading animal rights groups to drop live animals at Friday's opening ceremony of the London Olympics. Unfortunately for the animal rights lobby, he appears to have taken their ex...

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Funny story: A Guide to Plymouth, Devon (past Exeter), where Olympic Boy Diver Tom Daley lives

A Guide to Plymouth, Devon (past Exeter), where Olympic Boy Diver Tom Daley lives

A flock of seagulls flies through the night city air high over the houses, and is momentarily illuminated by a security light in the garden, of one of those houses. Thunderous sounds coming from the city center not too far away, seem to have brought them here. As they pass overhead, their squawks sound increasingly desperate, but then seconds later, they begin to lighten up. The fireworks continu...

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Funny story: Athletes to eat Big Macs and Coca-Cola only for London 2012

Athletes to eat Big Macs and Coca-Cola only for London 2012

Fearful of the possibility that to much health food will be consumed at the upcoming Olympic Games, drastic action has been taken a newly established regulatory body at the heart of the operations directorate of London 2012. The Committe for Organ...

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Funny story: Five Olympic wheel rings on my wagon... ...I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high.

Five Olympic wheel rings on my wagon... ...I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high.

Bus Shelter, Olympic Route Network (ORN), LONDON: As the Busker sings, thoughts come to the conscious mind. Five Olympic wheel rings on my wagon, And I'm still rolling along, The Met Police are chasing me Tasers fly, right on by, But I'm singing a happy song. I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high Olympic Lanes, there for five wheeled wagons A mile up the road, there's a Police...

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Funny story: Usain Bolt predicted to win the 100m Butterfly

Usain Bolt predicted to win the 100m Butterfly

Due to the heavy rain forecast for the London Olympics, changes are having to be made to some of the events. This has meant that Usain Bolt will no longer be competing in the hundred metre sprint, and will instead be competing in the hundred metre bu...

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Funny story: Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

The three members of the Cheltenham and District Darts Club have been roped in at the last minute to compete for the British Javelin team after it was discovered that Britain's current medal hopes have all been struck down with Repetitive Strain Inju...

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Funny story: Over there, tell 'em, that the Yanks are coming! The Yanks are coming!

Over there, tell 'em, that the Yanks are coming! The Yanks are coming!

Heathrow, LONDON: With many teenagers employed by G4S on £8.50 per hour, deciding to take days off to watch Jeremy Kyle or soaps, there may be trouble ahead. But why has the Olympic Security become a 'car crash', waiting to happen? Lord Coe et al...

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Funny story: Squatter camps on the streets of London 2012...

Squatter camps on the streets of London 2012...

Stratford, LONDON: In the tunnel at Stratford Railway Station, entrance gate for the London 2012 Olympics venue, there is a busker singing just like Ralph McTell, the old tune the 'Streets Of London'. Let us listen to those words; Have you seen the military men In the closed-down market on Green Street Kicking up the paper, with his worn out Army boots? In his eyes you see no pride for...

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Funny story: John Terry 'not a threat' to London Olympics

John Terry 'not a threat' to London Olympics

A newspaper editor has apologised today after a typo error suggested that the behaviour of Chelsea footballer John Terry was a threat to the well being of the London 2012 Olympics. The headline should have read 'terror threat' referring to Al Quai...

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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 14th July 2012 - with comments

Selected Political News for W/E 14th July 2012 - with comments

Monday 9th July 2012 Topic: Traffic chaos, Wardens reinstated "Parking wardens' comeback in Aberystwyth" Source: The Sun Extract: The free-for-all in Aberystwyth, Wales, has caused chaos and forced council bosses to do a U-turn. A seven-strong team will now start ticketing again on bank holiday Monday. The change of heart came after the town laid off its last traffic warden in Ju...

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