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Funny satire stories about Obesity

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Funny story: Fat is the new thin

Fat is the new thin

Models, celebrities and serial dieters around the world were today seen panic buying lard and deep fat fryers as a survey of 10 billion people worldwide has found that skinny is sooooooooo last season. Milan catwalks are to be filled with plus si...

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Funny story: Government plan to beat obesity by 'beating up the obese'

Government plan to beat obesity by 'beating up the obese'

Secretary of state for health Andy Burnham yesterday outlined government plans to tackle the rising obesity problem by giving the obese 'a damn good kicking'. 'For years now the government and the department of health have championed the benefits...

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Funny story: Guaranteed Airline Seat for the Obese

Guaranteed Airline Seat for the Obese

The recent and highly publicized seat denial of an influential journalist on a Southwest flight raises anxiety in the would-be obese air travelling public. So you are a few pounds off the chart? You've still got a right to visit Mom or go on vac...

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Funny story: Scientists prove link between food and obesity

Scientists prove link between food and obesity

Scientists at Bridlington University have uncovered a "link" between food consumption and weight gain in humans. Dr Wayne Bruce, visiting Professor of Sandwiches from the Barnsley Institute claims that "Fatties" may well eat more food that their natu...

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Funny story: Whole Country Getting Fatter, Says Kirstie Alley

Whole Country Getting Fatter, Says Kirstie Alley

Study after study agree with her findings, according to fat actress, Kirstie Alley, who says she has now passed the size of her friend "Norm" on Cheers. "It's not just me, it's the whole country..maybe the whole world", says Kirstie. "I'm pretty...

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Funny story: Passenger Told To Get Off Plane Cause He Is Just Too Damn Fat!

Passenger Told To Get Off Plane Cause He Is Just Too Damn Fat!

OAKLAND - Passenger X-103 aka Kevin Smith is angry, upset, fit to be tied, and so pissed off that he could eat a horse literally. Smith who works as a food taster for The Fallopian Food Company of Sausalito, California said that he purchased his t...

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Funny story: With Miniscule Showers on Board, Hundreds of Obese Passengers on SS Emerald Banana Forced to Bathe in Pool!

With Miniscule Showers on Board, Hundreds of Obese Passengers on SS Emerald Banana Forced to Bathe in Pool!

The Cruise Director for The SS Emerald Banana, a fairly recent cruise ship of 113,000 tonnes, announced that all future cruises would be cancelled until the ship underwent a retro fit for new shower stalls. While there had been complaints during t...

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Funny story: Answer to Childhood Obesity is Laughing Stock - says TV Chef

Answer to Childhood Obesity is Laughing Stock - says TV Chef

TV Chef, Heaton Bloomingspall OBE, has sensationally claimed that he has the answer to combat childhood obesity. Speaking from the en-suite laboratory situated in his luxurious marshmallow penthouse in Bolton (yes, it really is in Bolton) he said,...

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Funny story: White House Links Childhood Obesity to National Security

White House Links Childhood Obesity to National Security

First Lady Michelle Obama linked Child Hood Obesity to national security during a White House press event to launch her "Let's Move" campaign to end childhood obesity. She rightly pointed out "A recent study put the health care cost of obesity-rel...

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Funny story: Sweet Tooth Link To Obesity

Sweet Tooth Link To Obesity

Doctors in the United States have said that they have established a link between children with a sweet tooth and obesity. While most children in society these days like sweets, those with an extra sweet tooth may become fat, the researchers say. T...

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Funny story: Fat Albert Isn't Anymore!

Fat Albert Isn't Anymore!

In his first public appearance in fifteen months, Fat Albert waddled out to the podium to speak. He cleared his throat and said we, the press, would more easily understand if he showed us what he needed us to know. He stepped away from the podium, ya...

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Funny story: Obese People Face Excess Cremation Charges

Obese People Face Excess Cremation Charges

The West Midlands town of Scrubbington today became the first local authority to introduce a surcharge for cremating morbidly obese people in an attempt to offset some of the expenses it pays out to have such cremations executed. The problem is th...

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Funny story: American Obesity Rates Dropped Under Bush but Obama Threatens Progress with Food Program

American Obesity Rates Dropped Under Bush but Obama Threatens Progress with Food Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans are still too fat, but obesity rates in the United States appear to be slowing, according to newly released research. Government data show that 68 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight, having a body mass in...

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Funny story: Woman Loses Weight By Loosening Her Belly Button

Woman Loses Weight By Loosening Her Belly Button

A big fat slapper named Alice Browne, 23, has surprised all her other fat friends at the local gym by turning up yesterday weighing 5-stone less than the day before. Browne, 23, who was commonly known in the locality as 'Fat Fuck Bitch Browne', sa...

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Funny story: 737 Pound Man Featured in New Reality Film

737 Pound Man Featured in New Reality Film

Former NY Times bestseller Mitch Albom is about to release details for a companion story to 'Tuesday's with Morrie', called 'Thursday's with Thurston' about a morbidly obese teenager unable to care for himself. The story format will follow the sam...

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Funny story: Obese man hired to produce personal pork scratchings

Obese man hired to produce personal pork scratchings

An obese UK man from Sunderland has been hired to help a local butcher shop produce its own brand of pork scratchings with a twist. After spending years of outsourcing its pork scratchings, Hank Bacon decided that there must have been a cheaper wa...

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Funny story: New Weight Loss Method Discovered by Scientists

New Weight Loss Method Discovered by Scientists

Addis Ababa, ETHIOPIA - Scientists working in this impoverished African nation claim to have discovered the secret to long-term sustained weight loss, summarized by researcher Pete Morgan as follows: "QUIT EATING SO DAMN MUCH!" Morgan went on t...

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