Texas - According to the House Judiciary Committee, two-thirds of illegal children who have requested asylum after crossing our southern border will be admitted and allowed to stay in our country. But why would any child want to live their lif...
Hollywood - Nancy Pelosi has agreed to appear in the sequel to the 1985 movie, Brazil. The trippy movie based on George Orwell's book, 1984, is scheduled to be released in late 2015. Pelosi appeared in the original film to play Mrs. Ida Lowry...
Don't tell Republicans, but in the November 2014 election, the Democrats will keep the Senate and regain the House of Representatives, and say hello once again to: Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Democrats will succeed only if the Republican...
Washington, D.C. - The Koch Brothers have had it with Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader from Nevada, and his constant railing against the brothers every time he props himself up against the podium on the floor of the Senate to spew asinine c...
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!, TEXASS -- Former U. S. president George W. Bush is reportedly considering penning a retroactive executive order awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to whistle-blower Edward Snowden. "He's a patriot for exposing...
GOP Nemesis Nancy Pelosi does not take baths according to a hacked NHS spy recording. Why? "We're still listening", says reporter. Nancy Patricia D'Alesandro Pelosi, elected Democratic Leader by House Democrats and therefore the Minority Leader...
Washington DC -- House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been forced to join "the cult of the living dead," according to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi and other congressional leaders. They charge that the Tea Party branch of the GOP has transformed the...
Special to TPN - Following a meeting described as "amicable," Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and John Boehner (R-OH) announced that Congress will adjourn until after the 2016 election cycle. Pelosi opened a joint news conference by saying, "We both felt th...
A new whistleblower from Booz Allen Hamilton has emerged to offer insights into game-playing habits of congressional leaders. This development occurred yesterday after Senator McCain was caught playing poker on his iPhone during a three and a hal...
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi's regular morning visit to her exclusive hairdresser is apparently not just to maintain her famously stylish look. According to low level sources at All Seasons Salon in D.C, Representative Pelosi has been takin...
Evoking an eerie sense of déjà vu, the President was once again caught seemingly unaware that he was speaking into an open microphone, apparently concealed beneath his omnipresent teleprompter. "Democrats will be killed in the mid-terms, once busines...
LOS ANGELES, CA - Move over, Gwyneth Paltrow! The controversial "actress" and avowed herbivore was recently bestowed with the title of People Magazine's 'Most Attractive Woman' for 2013. Now, the magazine that defines the standards of the glamor li...
WASHINGTON, DC - In a bold attempt to silence his critics, U.S. President Barack Obama delivered a nine-and-one-half minute bout of non-stop maniacal laughter during this past Tuesday evening's "State of the Union" address. The laughter - te...
A rogue member of the secret service has shed some light on the widely held belief that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are an item. Ron 'Butch' Brown a twelve year veteran told reporters yesterday: 'Hell yeah they are' He then gleefully recalled t...
Los Angeles --Today the California State Senate brought to the floor a bill that would require the Adult film industry actors to wear condoms. The reason for the bill, according to a state Senator who requested to remain anonymous, is to ensure that...
Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a television interviewer that in cases of "legi...
House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) will be going through an experimental surgery next week. The procedure, developed by Dr. Spina Bifida, will implant a cybernetic spine into the Speaker of The House. The procedure is expected to last 5 hours and w...
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