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Funny story: Weddings have become too expensive

Weddings have become too expensive

With the economy in the state that it is in, the rising cost of weddings has become something that many men are deciding against tying the knot. "It costs several thousand quid," said Harry Balls, a mathematics lecturer from Sheffield University,...

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Funny story: Austerity measures for the Tooth Fairy

Austerity measures for the Tooth Fairy

Before decimalisation in the 1970s, it was common for a bob to be left under a pillow in exchange for a tooth. After decimalisation, a bob became ten pence. This state of affairs lasted until the affluent eighties when teeth doubled in value, out pac...

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Funny story: Olly Murs Named As New Bank Of England Governor

Olly Murs Named As New Bank Of England Governor

After months of speculation the identity of the next governor of the Bank of England has been revealed as Olly Murs. George Osborne stunned the city by announcing that Olly Murs, the runner-up in the sixth series of The X Factor in 2009, will repl...

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Funny story: China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...

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Funny story: Situation Vacant - Premiership Footballer Required

Situation Vacant - Premiership Footballer Required

A top English Premier League club has an opening for a full-time professional footballer to work within a highly motivated multi-lingual team of prancing prima-donnas. Interested parties should be able to demonstrate a high level of skill, and will be required to show their ability to blow their nose with one finger, and gob large amounts of spit onto the floor. The successful applicant will al...

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Funny story: Girls Aloud Reform And It's All Thanks To Bono

Girls Aloud Reform And It's All Thanks To Bono

Tiny Irish rock knob-head Bono, 3' 4", has sensationally reformed Girls Aloud he said today, from his castle in Switzerland. The U2 frontman has taken full responsibility for the girl bands reformation, telling reporters that he should now be offi...

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Funny story: Romney Proposes new One Million Dollar Bill

Romney Proposes new One Million Dollar Bill

Tampa - A discarded copy of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's acceptance speech from Tampa shows that he would pursue the creation of a new One Million Dollar Bill if elected President. A copy of the speech, found in a dumpster out...

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Funny story: U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech

U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech

A bill explicitly stating that citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 of pre-taxable income they earn per year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is a transcript of the final hearing. 2012 A BILL TO CODIFY, GUARD, AND BOLSTER FREE SPEECH RIGHTS IN THE UNITED STATES HEARING BEFORE THE SUBCOMMITTEE ON THE CONSTITUTION,...

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Funny story: Ronaldo retires because he's sad and pathetic!

Ronaldo retires because he's sad and pathetic!

Madrid, Spain (it's Real!): Cristiano Ronaldo, soccer super-star, pompous, self righteous, multi-millionaire prima-donna is to retire from soccer because he's sad! The reasons behind his sadness have nothing to do with his vast wealth or lack of s...

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Funny story: Minneapolis Solves Its Unemployment Problem

Minneapolis Solves Its Unemployment Problem

MINNEAPOLIS - The city council of Minneapolis, Minnesota has just announced that it has reduced the town's unemployment percent all the way down to zero. Council member Delta Joan Muscaretello spoke with an assembled throng of reporters and she re...

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Funny story: Man Utd Sign Raphael Sanzio for Undisclosed Fee

Man Utd Sign Raphael Sanzio for Undisclosed Fee

It was announced, yesterday, that Manchester United have signed the 14th century artist Raphael Sanzio from FC Munchen Gladbach for an undisclosed sum. Rover's manager Fergus Alexson was said to be delighted with the team's new acquisition, having...

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Funny story: Irish Republican Army Mortally Wounded By Change In Electoral Law

Irish Republican Army Mortally Wounded By Change In Electoral Law

Ireland's peak terrorist organisation, the Irish Republican Army, has been severely damaged by recent changes in the country's electoral laws. The Irish parliament, this week, passed an amendment to electoral laws, removing state funding from poli...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Reach A Divorce Settlement

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Reach A Divorce Settlement

NEW YORK CITY - Katie Holmes, 33, says that she hasn't been as happy as she is now since she was a little girl growing up in Toledo, Ohio, and she first discovered chocolate ice cream cones. The soon-to-be-ex-wife of Tom Cruise, 50, told Ashburn W...

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Funny story: Washington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance

Washington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance

Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...

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Funny story: What's Gone Wong At Wonga.com???

What's Gone Wong At Wonga.com???

Insults were flying thick and fast on the set of Wonga.com today as directors Betty, Joyce and Earl were recording their latest advertisement. "Things were getting very heated between Betty and Joyce" said an insider who wished to remain anonymous...

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Funny story: Bank Worker Sacked for Lending a Colleague a Tenner till next Wednesday

Bank Worker Sacked for Lending a Colleague a Tenner till next Wednesday

Kevin Smalley, 48, a clerk at Natleys Bank has been dismissed from his job after a senior manager discovered that he had lent £10 to a fellow employee. The reciprocant of the loan, Wendy Smidgin, a sales counter assistant at the same branch, had m...

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Funny story: Elderly couple blow life savings on Moon rock

Elderly couple blow life savings on Moon rock

An elderly Saddleworth couple were counting the cost of an investment that went badly wrong for them. Eric Stoat (84) and his wife Doris (87) had seen an advertisement on the Internet for a company that was selling acres of the Moon to individual inv...

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