WASHINGTON, D.C. - Mitt Romney is sticking to his guns and is flat out refusing to release his income tax returns. GOPicky Magazine is reporting that there is a loop hole, which the White House legal staff has found which states that the president...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has decided to sit out the upcoming presidential debates in lieu of an even bigger crowd-pleaser. Mitt will suit up the mitts to spar against--HIMSELF. Video spots will be aired showing the Republican candidate s...
Presidential hopeful, Mitt 'The Gaffe-Man' Romney has stuck his foot in his mouth again. Speaking to a group of people paying $50,000 a plate (and $2 for tips) at a fund raising dinner, Romney said that 47 % of Americans are dependent on the gover...
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) After last week's leak of a Mitt Romney fundraiser speech that insulted nearly half of all voters by repeating a popular but fallacious far-right wing talking point, the campaign suffered another blow yesterday when a memo contain...
BUMFUCK EGYPT (ABSNN) - The second highest ranking leader of the radical Islamic fundamentalist sect Al Qaeda has announced that he will personally fund the making of a new motion picture, "Jesus the Pussy Whupped". "Our budget is unlimited. This...
BILLINGSGATE POST - ELECTION SPECIAL - In a face saving development that could potentially change the way voters look at presidential candidates, the handlers of Barack Obama requested that his head be put into a hermetically sealed bubble so that Mi...
After another presidential mega-gaffa dropped by Mitt Romney reached the ears of the public it was obvious who is backing his campaign to boot liberal Obama out of office. One of Mitt's multi-billionaire backers vowed to throw $100.000000,00 into...
SUNSHINE MOBILE HOME PARK, FL (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney visited a mobile home park deep within Florida's Sun Coast on Tuesday. He was shocked to learn that 47% per cent of all US citizens live in "long, narrow boxes sided...
BOSTON (ABSNN) - Republican Presiential nominee Mitt Romney, hard on the heels of his foreign policy coup of last week, defended his stand that Barack Obama is a Muslim apologist. And he managed to alienate a few more government workers in the barga...
New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy. In fact, Romney revealed that his entire economic/fiscal policy is tied to the co...
A senior figure inside Mitt Romney's faltering campaign for the Presidency said this morning "My - erm, I mean his - campaign has careered off the tracks, hit the buffers, gone over the edge." When asked by reporters to limit his argument to one r...
Mitt Romney blasted President Obama today. Calling him "severely soft" and "almost anally apologetic to Muslim monsters" we should be 'designating dead by drone," or at the very least "describing in less alliterative fashion," Mitt minced mots minima...
NEW YORK CITY - Mitt Romney was in the Big Apple being interviewed by radio station KREP talk show host Tulips Fibbowitz. Miss Fibbowitz, who is not the least bit shy, asked him just exactly how much money he's worth. Romney nodded his head and...
Governor Mitt Romney called an impromptu press conference this morning to reply to a leaked memo that states his mother once referred to him as a weasel. "My mother was a liar," said Romney with a red face and an angry tone in his voice, "She said I acted like a weasel, that's not the same!" Reporter: "Governor, why did she say that?" Romney: "It was nothing!" Reporter: "Why?" Romne...
Republican Mitt Romney has abdicated his candidacy for President. "I just can't keep up the lies," he told reporters at a hastily-gathered cadre of news reporters at his palatial Hamptons estate. "I have absolutely no idea what I'd do as Presid...
SEAL TEAM I BASE, CORONADO CA (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama has ordered US Navy SEAL Team I to "get Romney, no matter the cost in innocent lives." LT Josh Ning, PAO at the SEAL Base in Coronado, California, told reporters Saturday afternoon t...
AMERICAN FORK UT (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney announced Saturday his plan to rid the US of 500,000 Muslims with the stroke of his Presidential pen. He plans to give to Canada the four US cities with the highest population of Muslims: Detroit (300,000), an...
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