NATION OF LONDON - The entire nine million population of London agreed that there is nothing beyond county of Greater London borders. "Uhh, well, uuh..." said Boris Johnson, president of London, "it is paramount that there is uhh... nothing, outsi...
International Bookmakers have just opened a book on the outcome of the impending trial for plagiarism of J.K.Rowling in London's High Court scheduled for later this year. Bookie Juan Borneveryday said: "Our view is that it will be a tough contest. Our final analysis is that the opposition will have too much to do and Rowling should win going away. We make Rowling odds on at 4/6 and Willy's...
The future of the Royal Variety Performance has been thrown into doubt after Prince Charles revealed he was so bored that he was forced to have a conversation with Camilla. The Prince of Wales, who attends the performance every year, was said to...
With their credit default swaps and their naked short selling, they may not possess the terrifying allure of a phoney Al-Qaeda - but they are better trained; state-protected and they take down whole countries and their economies with ruthless ease an...
Students rampaging over increased school fees are being strung even higher by accusations they are also looters, anarchists, and arsonists following last night's epic temper tantrum in central London. "All we are trying to do is point out it is s...
Prime Minister David Cameron is moving aggressively in a bid to restore order as rioting students trash central London. "He's delighted, as a Conservative Prime Minister, to have a war to fight," said Peregrine Sympring-Knobb, an old school frie...
LONDON - The king of rock and roll's only offspring, Lisa Marie Presley has sold her Roy Rogers ranch style home in Los Angeles, California for $5 million [£3.18 U.K] and moved to London, England. Elvis Presley's daughter landed at London's Heathr...
LONDON - X-Factor's Katie Waissel has just received the shock of her life. She has learned from the media that her 81-year-old grandmother Shelia Vogel is self-employed as a £250 [$389 U.S.] per hour prostitute. Vogel, reportedly has been plying h...
An archaeology expert has poured scorn on the discovery of a Roman settlement at a London building site. The discovery, on the site of the new Waldorf Astoria being built at Syon Park, has "excited" archeologists who have found more than 11,000 ar...
The news that Kabul is safer than London or Glasgow has caused a rush of applications for emigration to Afghanistan. Galweigans are not so quick on the uptake as the Glasgow kiss is being used to deter people from leaving the city. Children are pa...
LONDON - England's Bloomin' British Babes Calendar Company has just announced that they will be putting out a nude 2011 calendar featuring none other than Kate Middleton, the soon-to-be-wife of Prince William. Company spokesperson Byron Thameswate...
HELL-HOLE (Former LONDON) - Londoners were surprised to hear that their city is actually a piece of hell. London, also known as Posertown (to this reporter), Londonium, Capital, Shit-On-Thames, and to the rest of the world, England, was uncovered...
LONDON - Patsy Kensit who starred in Lethal Weapon 2, Blame It On The Bellboy, and Godzilla Vs. Great Britain confided to a reporter for The Manchester Morning Manc that she finds Kylie Minogue to be a very physically attractive woman. Patsy, who...
Mayor of London Boris Johnson has been labelled a killjoy for his insistence on all fireworks discharged over the weekend being anchored to ensure they land in the borough of origin. 'Cross borough' firework incidents were at an all time high last...
The heartbreaking song 'London's Burning' could become a stark reality, if the proposed firefighters' strike goes ahead on Bonfire Night this year. The Fire Brigade Union have told firefighters not to fetch the engines on 5th November, even when...
The popular food and beverage establishment that by all critical accounts, has replaced Planet Bollywood as the fastest growing restaurant franchise (with entertainment) in the world, is now under investigation for reportedly featuring protected anim...
Hundreds of London's youngsters are planning a mass toddle in protest at spending cuts which threaten the future of the capital's adventure playgrounds. Borough councils in the Greater London area say playgrounds will have to close if no Governmen...
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