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Funny satire stories about London

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Funny story: Boris insists on capitals fireworks being 'anchored'

Boris insists on capitals fireworks being 'anchored'

Mayor of London Boris Johnson has been labelled a killjoy for his insistence on all fireworks discharged over the weekend being anchored to ensure they land in the borough of origin. 'Cross borough' firework incidents were at an all time high last...

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Funny story: London's Burning

London's Burning

The heartbreaking song 'London's Burning' could become a stark reality, if the proposed firefighters' strike goes ahead on Bonfire Night this year.  The Fire Brigade Union have told firefighters not to fetch the engines on 5th November, even when...

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Funny story: OASIS Bar & Grille Under Investigation

OASIS Bar & Grille Under Investigation

The popular food and beverage establishment that by all critical accounts, has replaced Planet Bollywood as the fastest growing restaurant franchise (with entertainment) in the world, is now under investigation for reportedly featuring protected anim...

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Funny story: London Kiddies Plan Toddle On Whitehall Over Playground Cuts

London Kiddies Plan Toddle On Whitehall Over Playground Cuts

Hundreds of London's youngsters are planning a mass toddle in protest at spending cuts which threaten the future of the capital's adventure playgrounds. Borough councils in the Greater London area say playgrounds will have to close if no Governmen...

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Funny story: London Borough Promotes Body Composting

London Borough Promotes Body Composting

A large London borough is to encourage residents to compost the dead bodies of relatives at home instead of sending them for burial or cremation. The council cemetery is full and burning bodies creates large amounts of carbon dioxide which 'the Lo...

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Funny story: Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

A penguin stolen from London Zoo on Tuesday has been recovered and returned to the zoo unharmed. A woman was apprehended running along the strand with the penguin under her arm on Wednesday night. She had dressed the bird in baby clothing to try t...

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Funny story: Fear & Panic in the City

Fear & Panic in the City

Bankers, white faced with terror, are reeling from the onslaught from Vince Cable and Nick Clegg against their bonuses. Cable, sensing blood, is on the warpath: 'I am very angry with the Banks. If they go on giving themselves bonuses I will be abs...

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Funny story: London[istan] becoming breeding ground for Pak's new political parties whose supporters include the halal butcher; the naan baker and the sheep-fat candlestick-maker

London[istan] becoming breeding ground for Pak's new political parties whose supporters include the halal butcher; the naan baker and the sheep-fat candlestick-maker

LONDONISTAN: Oh to be in England! Council housing, social benefits, national health care, million-pound flats above kebab shops in Edgware & security detail provided by Scotland Yard courtesy of the Brit taxpayer...heck a self-exiled Pak dictat...

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Funny story: Pope flees angry London mob using jet-pack

Pope flees angry London mob using jet-pack

Pope Benedict's state visit to Britain has ended almost as soon as it began. Hours after landing at London's Heathrow Airport, the Pontiff was addressing a crowd of Roman Catholics in Trafalgar Square when spontaneous angry protests by gays, victims...

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Funny story: Giant 3D Wonderbra Ad Causes Commuter Chaos At London Rail Terminal

Giant 3D Wonderbra Ad Causes Commuter Chaos At London Rail Terminal

The 20 foot advertising hoarding, featuring Brazilian model Sabraine Banado wearing a Wonderbra in 3D has already prompted people jams, with commuters at Waterloo station stopping to gawp, and waiting for their eyes to adjust to the 3D glasses in ord...

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Funny story: Facebook usage declines as London workers can't get to work

Facebook usage declines as London workers can't get to work

Millions of commuters across the British capital struggled to get to work on Tuesday, as a 24-hour strike by workers on London's underground rail system crippled much of the internet. Sales were down at online stores due to secretaries not being a...

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Funny story: London Hit by Pube Chaos

London Hit by Pube Chaos

The announcement yesterday of the end of the week-long action by members of the Razor Retailers Union created chaos in London as it coincided with last night's tube strike. Thousands irritated by the recent scarcity of razors left work early to...

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Funny story: A London Fire

A London Fire

In a run-down part of East London a fire destroyed a dilapidated four-storey house that had been divided into four flats. A Nigerian family of six Internet con artists and full time benefit cheats lived on the first floor... all six tragically perished in the fire. A group of seven, Islamic welfare cheats, all illegally in the country, lived on the second floor... they too, all perished...

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Funny story: Final clue disclosed in Libertines Treasure Hunt For Last Tickets

Final clue disclosed in Libertines Treasure Hunt For Last Tickets

The final clue has been revealed in the online treasure hunt for the last libertines tickets to a tiny warm up gig, just days before the Official Libertines reunion at Reading and Leeds Festival. The treasure hunt was called on last week after it wa...

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Funny story: An Underwear Bomber Apprehended in Buckingham Palace

An Underwear Bomber Apprehended in Buckingham Palace

LONDON - One of Saudi Arabia's most experienced underwear bombers Hadri Abu Knacka Knicka was apprehended in Buckingham Palace. Alert palace guards were able to ascertain that the individual who was acting strangely and walking even stranger actua...

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Funny story: Bike Superhighway to Encourage Protester Deaths

Bike Superhighway to Encourage Protester Deaths

London Mayor Boris Johnson has announced the development of a bike superhighway that will be created through Parliament Square. Plans are being rushed through parliament almost quite literally as there are fears of an outbreak of plague or dysent...

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Funny story: Two South African Lesbians Granted Asylum In England But They Must Leave Their Vuvuzelas In South Africa

Two South African Lesbians Granted Asylum In England But They Must Leave Their Vuvuzelas In South Africa

LONDON - Jontussa Buffatunga and Malikeesha Quancha, two lifelong residents of Cape Town, South Africa have applied for and been granted asylum by the English government. Buffatunga said that the couple had applied and been turned down by 17 count...

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