In an ever more desperate attempt to ease post-colonial guilt and show the magnanimous virtues of free society, a vote will come before the Commons today on whether honour killings should be legalized. Nick Griffin, happy to speak on the behalf o...
There was shock yesterday as it was revealed that groups of Labour Party officials have been loitering near school entrances and accosting schoolchildren as young as 12 with a view to getting them hooked on left-wing politics. "This is perfectly n...
A new plan to increase the number of British personnel serving in Afghanistan has been announced today, to universal public approval. The scheme, to be announced by Prime Mincer Gollum Brown at today's PMQ's, will increase the number of British pe...
The government today called for a new tax to be levied on the intellectually gifted, with the aim of helping those with a lesser degree of intellect. Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman explained, "It is fundamentally unfair that some people are m...
The Leaders of the big three political parties have been challenged to a series of live televised mass debates by the UK news media. The BBC News, ITN and BeSkyBiscuits interrupted programmes every thirty seconds with the challenge. BBC News N...
The worst kept secret in the world was finally unveiled this week at the New Labour Party Conference in Brighton. New Labour is f*ck*d! However, bold new plans to get the national economy rolling again were revealed which a party spokesman said...
A small explosion occurred today in the media room at the Brighton conference centre. Three computers, one from a BBC reporter and two from national newspaper journalists, caught flames spontaneously several minutes apart. A technician on the scene d...
The Conservative Nazi Evil Twin project continued yesterday when David Cameron's evil twin made an appearance at the Labour Paarty conference. As Gordon Brown rallied his troops, Evil Cameron leaped onto the stage and began running around making c...
A major announcement was, er, announced by the Prime Minister at the Labour conference this week. Speaking to a packed audience of Labour supporters (the Conservatives and Lib Dems hadn't been invited due to their political leanings) Mr Brown outl...
Feeling bored at work? Used to respect British Prime Ministers, but now find them nauseating creeps? Know you could do their job a lot better than they do, but don't know what's needed for the job? Then fill out this cardboard cutout kit, and you too can lick the American President's boots!: 1. Be born in the south-east of Scotland. This narrows it down to only 1 in 120 of the UK population, bu...
New Labour have outlined their manifesto for the next election under their new party name, The Conservatives. Gordon Brown's party came up with the plan to help them win the next election, last night in the House Of Common's lapdancing bar. Bro...
In advance of his pending keynote speech, Gordon Brown was asked at Prime Minister's Questions whether, contrary to his promise of continual cash increases in spending and investment, the actual loss of entire hospitals and the closure of local villa...
After a summer of expenses frauds and Labour MPs being forced to stand down, and having realised they had somehow been landed with the worst leader in their long history, Party chiefs today gave the Government freedom to start the General Election ca...
The Prime Minister created a stir in parliament today with the unexpected announcement of a new cabinet. With the recent resignations over the ongoing MPs' expenses scandal, the last thing expected from Downing Street was the news that Gordon Brow...
Gordon Brown has sent an email to Labour Party members urging them not to admit that they are members. In the email Brown says that they should "try to avoid" admitting membership of the Labour Party when writing to the press. Brown urged them to be...
The annual Labour Pride march took place in London today. Gaydon Broon led his party through the streets of London. "We are marching because we are in the minority and we want more people to come out of the closet and vote for us." The Queen of th...
Prime Minister Gordon Brown has come out fighting after Labour's disastrous performance in the Euro elections which saw it fall to third place behind UKIP. Mr Brown said: "I take full responsibility for these results. It's all Mrs Thatcher's fault...
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