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Funny story: Ten Tips for a Healthy and Happy Life

Ten Tips for a Healthy and Happy Life

Magazine UR-FKD's Health & Fitness Section has listed the following tips for a healthy mind in a healthy body. Several food chains and media outlets are threatening to sue the editor. 1. Understand the world is run by crooked, greedy people who think they are 'superior' to you and because the are 'superior' to you they actually own the world and everything in it... including you. You and yo...

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Funny story: Man Realizes Area Code Number is the same as his Weight

Man Realizes Area Code Number is the same as his Weight

Los Angeles, CA - It was an exciting day for Ernesto Lopez when he went to his doctor for a routine checkup. After being weighed by one of the nurses, the 32 year old man realized that his weight was the same number as his area code, 310. "...

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Funny story: New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...

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Funny story: Snoop Dogg Says His Battle with Glaucoma is Finally Over

Snoop Dogg Says His Battle with Glaucoma is Finally Over

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- During an exclusive interview with TMZ, Rapper, Actor, and Entrepreneur, Snoop Dogg (aka Snoop Lion) has admitted that his long struggle with glaucoma is finally over. "I'm just glad this shizzle is finally over, I...

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Funny story: Ebola Virus Predicted To Kill Two Million In USA By Christmas

Ebola Virus Predicted To Kill Two Million In USA By Christmas

The deadliest outbreak of Ebola virus on record has sparked fears that the killer virus could kill over 2,000,000 Americans by Christmas. This shocking prediction came from "Fat Dave", a regular at The Village Well Inn located in Fort Lauderdale,...

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Funny story: Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.

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Funny story: Skincare manufacturer to sell lotion bottle with built-on screen for porn-viewing

Skincare manufacturer to sell lotion bottle with built-on screen for porn-viewing

Junguns Skincare Products announced that they will soon release lotion that comes in a bottle with a 4 ½ high-definition screen attached to it. Additionally, the bottles will have audio and Wi-Fi capabilities. They will be an industry first and ar...

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Funny story: The WHO Convenes to Discuss "Global Health Emergency"

The WHO Convenes to Discuss "Global Health Emergency"

Geneva, Switzerland - Members of The WHO came together this week to address concerns about growing health crises around the world and to answer questions about a possible upcoming tour. Frontman Roger Daltrey expressed grave concerns about wha...

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Funny story: Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...

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Funny story: Manhattan Island Sinks Beneath Hudson

Manhattan Island Sinks Beneath Hudson

Due to the increase in beverage and meal portion sizes in restaurants, there was a noticeable increase in water levels around the island of Manhattan. The locals were too busy eating their XTRA-LARGE beverages and Big Macs to notice that their isl...

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Funny story: On the Health and Economic Effects of Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wounds

On the Health and Economic Effects of Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wounds

A question of long-standing interest to the public is whether self-inflicted gunshot wounds are causally related to poor health, death, lower earnings, and a lower probability of working full-time. Put more simply, will shooting a loaded gun in your...

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Funny story: Is this the end of the FIFA World Cup?

Is this the end of the FIFA World Cup?

If you're a fan of soccer--and I refer particularly to the FIFA World Cup--you'd better make the most of it while it's still around. If things go as planned, the 2018 and the 2022 FIFA World Cup championships will be the last ones to be played. After...

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Funny story: Meandering Through The Medicine Cabinet

Meandering Through The Medicine Cabinet

Why is it that in this age of enlightened attitudes from the new generation of modern families and forty-something hipsters-wannabes is there still a wholly unrounded perception towards those who 'do' drugs? My days of indulgence were sadly snatched away from me upon the birth of my son. My last joint was rolled and flamed on the very day he was born. I had spent all night at the hospital, th...

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Funny story: New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...

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Funny story: GPs Can Choose Only To See Healthy People Under New Agreement

GPs Can Choose Only To See Healthy People Under New Agreement

Following recent reports which incited outrage when it was revealed that GPs can opt out of unsocial working hours, new proposals are in the offing that allow GPs the option of not having to see poorly patients. Under the new scheme GPs could earn...

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Funny story: Mayo Clinic study: The heartbreak of (Loving Your Own Farts (LYOF) receives $50,000,000 federal grant!

Mayo Clinic study: The heartbreak of (Loving Your Own Farts (LYOF) receives $50,000,000 federal grant!

In an early morning press conference today in Rochester, Minnesota, the Mayo Clinic announced the results of its study of LYOF. The study titled: The heartbreak of LYOF (Loving your own farts) and sub-titled: Mankinds infatuation wirh flatulatio...

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Funny story: Doctors urged to stop prescribing curly-wurlies for common heart condition

Doctors urged to stop prescribing curly-wurlies for common heart condition

For centuries, it's been prescribed for a multiplicity of conditions, ranging from the Black Death to ischemic heart disease. But now, the General Medical Council has challenged the healing propensities of the curly wurly. The well-known chocolate...

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