It's a fact. The world is ending this year, or so say the experts who are pretending they can read the ancient texts of the Mayan people, that long ago vanished Mesoamerican tribe. So, I thought it would be prudent to cover a few final points before the destruction of mankind. And if I can, help you survive it. This is my 'How To' guide in how to survive the apocalypse. Hold on tight,...
10. According to my horoscope, that's what I was supposed to do. 9. My dad drank too much. 8. My girlfriend drinks too much. 7. Being sober around drunk people sucks. 6. Dry heaves are almost as good as crunches - and that's on top of my smoker's cough! 5. Artists, musicians and writers always drink too much - that's just the way it is. 4. I'm tired of feeling left out. 3. I'm...
Many things annoy us, from women leaving the toilet seat down, public transport, the price of fuel and annoying junk mail, to women who complain you left the toilet seat up, family members who come visiting and never quite seem to know when it's time they fucked off, taxes, computer viruses and people who talk absolute bollocks about subjects they know nothing about. Here's our chart rundown of...
It's Christmas, and despite the economic crisis, Britons are pulling together and doing what they do best - sitting on their fat arses (the biggest in Europe) and watching TV. So what programmes are the most popular during this festive period? We did a survey to find out. The most watched TV show was "When Sharks Attack at Christmas", a graphic documentary about the dangers of swimming near...
Some of this years biggest selling Christmas season toys include The LeapFrog LeapPad Explorer Tablet, The Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, The Trash Pack Trashies Garbage Truck, Crayola Crayon Makers, Monster High Dolls, Nerf Vortex Nitron Blaster, and Transformers Dark of the Moon Ultimate Optimus Prime But on the other side of the coin are Christmas toys that no one is purchasing. The highly re...
Dakota and Joshua are about to be new parents, but the question of what to name their new baby is still on their minds. They want a name that gives the baby a strong identity without threatening other babies. While sipping a latte at a local beanery, they expressed their concerns. "It's so important. Maybe we should wait until the baby can decide on it's own." suggested Dakota. "This...
Google have released their top 10 searches for this year. Go on try them. Top 4 'Do we' searches and results: 1. Do we have free will? (No - most will writing services charge a tidy sum) 2. Do werewolves exist? (Yes - Richard Keys ex Sky TV presenter is one) 3. Do we have a soul? (Yes - provided you are black) 4. Do weight loss pills work? (No - look around you for God's sake) Top 4 '...
New York -- Over 74% of Americans believe that the nation is "off on the wrong track," according to a recent survey conducted for The Wall Street Journal and NBC News. The pessimistic figure is the worst since October 2008, when 78% said that the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the trick here is not to dwell in the past, but to look ahead and identify forthcoming signals that i...
Hello, and welcome to this special edition feature of our popular series The Beginner's Guide. Here we will attempt to uncover some of the myths and mysteries surrounding that most popular of holidays, Christmas. Where did it originate, what's it all about and why is it so damned expensive? These questions and a few more will probably be answered, or at the very least alluded to, in our 1...
Welcome one and welcome all, to the Beginner's Guide Part 6, everything you need to know about drinking. Close the saloon doors behind you, pull up a bar stool and tip the barman a few coins, and we'll share a wee dram of your favourite poison whilst discussing the intricacies of the nations favourite pastime. From the very dawn of time, man has sought to forget the foibles of the day, to er...
The Christmas gift company Christmas Bells & Whistles has just mailed out its yearly catalog which contains over 16,000 Christmas gifts, including 97, which are brand new for the 2011 holiday season. The catalog contains over 700 pages and lists everything from armadillo shaped Christmas cookie cutters to green and red stripped zebra pajamas. One of last years biggest sellers was the Ho...
December 8, 2011, marks the 31st anniversary of the passing of John Lennon who was part of the Beatles considered by many to be the greatest rock and roll band of all time. Hundreds of articles have been written about John over the past years including some which talked about the performers who influenced him, his early childhood growing up in Liverpool, and his uncanny ability to write a compl...
Little Miss Muffet Kids Magazine has just announced their list for 2011's Ten Least Popular Christmas Children's Books. The list was compiled by the magazine's Senior Executive Assistant Publisher Jefferson Dante Quickowitz. Mr. Quickowitz personally read over 800 children's Christmas books plus he texted, emailed, and called up 27 other top executives whose companies sell children's Christmas...
It seems like only yesterday that the American Dream promised you could be anyone, do anything, and go anywhere without fear and with full freedom. But all that has changed. Here's a list developed by the US Department of Expectations detailing the Top 10 Signs The American Dream Is Over: 1. Instead of freshly ground pepper on your salad, you get industrial-strength pepper spray in your face.
1. If your wife keeps turning up the thermostat, start collecting guns, just to let her know you mean business. 2. You remember that guy that never wore a heavy coat and said he was always comfortable. He died of pneumonia. 3. In the depression people burned their homes' inside doors for warmth. Luckily that could never happen again. 4. You can turn off your refrigerator if...
Sport. To some a pastime, to others a way to unwind from the stresses of the day. And to other others it's a job. Others still find sport a thing that 'other people do'! But whatever it is, it's sport! A competitive, energy depleting activity, designed to get you fit, sweaty and worked up! Here we delve in to ten things you need to know about all types of sport, so jog on... 1. R...
It's no fun turning 60. It's the official beginning of "old manhood," as in, "What are you doing in the fast lane, old man?" Or worse, "What are you doing in the diaper aisle, old man?" But as with most things in life, there are some positives. Change can be good. Improvements have been made. For instance, the life expectancy of an American male back in 1937 was 58. If that number hadn't improv...
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