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Funny story: Five Fun Facts About Millicent Morgan DeVille

Five Fun Facts About Millicent Morgan DeVille

1.) The much celebrated British stage and screen star of the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70, 80s and 90s, was born while her mother was hanging out the washing in a small village near Bournemouth, UK. 2.) She had a much-publicised feud with Canadian actress Jeanie Crawford. The Canadian's overbearing nature was partly to blame, but it was mostly due to the sexual advances made by Crawford to Morga...

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Funny story: 10 Ways To Beat The Boarding School Blues

10 Ways To Beat The Boarding School Blues

For some children, boarding school is a wonderful, exciting, character-building adventure. For others, it can be a living hell, punctuated with homesickness, bullying, bedwetting and the odd randy junior house master. For those who struggle with the separation from mummy and daddy, and the arrival at a cold, dark and forboding boarding school, the following is intended as a guide to beating the...

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Funny story: Office Survival Tips

Office Survival Tips

OFFICE SURVIVAL TIPS 1: No matter how much the printer might frustrate you, do not yell at it. It can't hear you. 2: Just because you don't like doing it, doesn't mean it's not part of your job. 3: If you're not sure what someone is saying when they're talking, it's probably best not to try to correct them on anything they just said. 4: If you're tired and a coworker says, "Here, t...

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Funny story: The Average American Motorist Rulebook

The Average American Motorist Rulebook

Here is a guide to help ensure you drive like the rest of America. DON'T BE AWARE While driving, keep in mind that everyone else on the road should be looking out for you. Therefore, there is no reason for you to be aware of your surroundings. A perfect example of this would be not checking your blind spot when trying to change lanes. In fact, there's no need to even check your mirrors...

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Funny story: 12 Great First Dates

12 Great First Dates

Because dinner and a movie just don't cut it any more. 1. Meet. Interact. Communicate. Intuit. Associate. Amuse. Delight. Bewilder. Surprise. Astonish. Wonder. Prostate massage. 2. Buy a gun / Steal a car / Try to run / but you don't get far ... 3. Floss date. Do you like cinnamon-flavored dental floss? (Like a coffee date except…) 4. You meet for services at some funky unfamiliar chur...

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Funny story: Top 5 Best American Political Gaffes of All Time

Top 5 Best American Political Gaffes of All Time

Perhaps slanted towards the last half of the 20th century and the beginning of the 21st, weighted by the preponderance of video and audio coverage from what used to be considered routine campaign speeches, the selection of the best (or worst) political gaffes absolutely has to include the following. Number 5. 1988 - Democratic Governor and presidential nominee, Mike Dukakis decided to take a...

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Funny story: Top 10 Reasons We Should Drill Numb Nuts Drill

Top 10 Reasons We Should Drill Numb Nuts Drill

1. If you don't care how much it costs to fill up your tank, you are probably blond, rich or a tree hugger. If so, go on to next point. 2. If it doesn't bother you that the rag heads are laughing at us for not drilling, go to next point. 3. If you are concerned that a random Alaskan caribou has to detour a few miles to breed, your love life must suck. Please go to next point. 4.

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Funny story: Top Seven Great...: Song Titles and Albums

Top Seven Great...: Song Titles and Albums

Music is one of the most widely known art forms, with many genres, pop, rock, jazz, blues, (c)rap, and others. Oh, and Ben Folds. Here are some great song titles and albums from the modern era. 1) "The Undertaker's Thirst for Revenge is Unquenchable (The Final Battle)" - Chiodos [S] 2) "One Angry Dwarf and Two Hundred Solemn Faces" - Ben Folds [s] 3) "You Are Fired (Take This Job, Ah,...

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Funny story: Fascinating. . .Nests

Fascinating. . .Nests

Never let boredom destroy your FASCINATION. Let us go on a journey to a world where nests are incredibly FASCINATING. . . FASCINATING Nest related facts . . We usually associate nests with birds, but prehistoric birds probably buried their eggs in the sand, as some lizards and turtles do today. Then again, we know fuck all about the olden days so its probably just a load of bollox g...

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Funny story: Top Ten Reasons Why I Do Not Celebrate St. Patrick's Day

Top Ten Reasons Why I Do Not Celebrate St. Patrick's Day

Cutest profile picture writer and goofiest avatar writer at present signing on for duty. Top Ten Reasons Why I Do Not Celebrate St. Patrick's Day 10. I hate green beer 9. I don't believe in leprauchans 8. I don't NEED an excuse for a party 7. I'm English 8. No-one where I work is Irish 6. Most of my colleagues have English roots but don't even KNOW that St.

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Funny story: Top 10 Signs Charlie Sheen is an Alien

Top 10 Signs Charlie Sheen is an Alien

(10) Does not speak any known language. (9) Flying saucer command module beams him down to TV studios for morning show interviews. (8) His veins damaged by radical breaches. (7) His aura melts bones and faces like wax. (6) Fought the Corduroys on the Planet Genatur. (5) Tells world leaders he is "on a quest to claim absolute victory across the board on every front in this whole mes...

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Funny story: Things You'd Rather Do Than...

Things You'd Rather Do Than...

Continuing our increasingly popular series "Things You'd Rather Do Than". Today we present "Things You'd Rather Do Than.....Watch Stoke City". 1. Get an enema. 2. Tidy up your sock drawer. 3. Tidy up someone else's sock drawer. 4. Pull your nose hairs out. 5.Try to evacuate your bowels when your piles are playing up. 6. Get the snip without an anaesthetic, 7. Watch a rerun...

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Funny story: 447 Essential Excuses for Golfers' Revealed

447 Essential Excuses for Golfers' Revealed

Excuses that you can tell when you have played a bad shot, or your playing badly Our ace spoof Gazette Sports columnist Dense, has scoured the web, and visited many many golf clubroom bars over the last few weeks, in his dedicated mission to amass a comprehensive list of 'Excuses for Golfers', as printed here. Unfortunately, he is now broke from buying the golfers drinks, and an alcoholic, but...

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Funny story: Odd Signs Seen In Britain!

Odd Signs Seen In Britain!

All the below are genuine signs noted by people throughout the UK. Sign in a launderette: Automatic washing machines - please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. Sign in a London department store: The Bargain Basement is now upstairs. Outside a farm in Nottinghamshire: Horse manure 50p per pre-packed bag 20p do-it-yourself. In a Security Company office: After taking...

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Funny story: The 10 Most Unpopular Children's Products Of 2010

The 10 Most Unpopular Children's Products Of 2010

The National Coalition for The Testing of Children's Products recently held its annual convention and seminar at The Wheat Penny Coliseum in Topeka, Kansas. Coalition Executive Director Baisley W. Nelliepicker stated that the 783 members who were present voted on the most unpopular children's products of the past year. THE 10 MOST UNPOPULAR CHILDRENS PRODUCTS Of 2010 * Asparagus Flavored...

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Funny story: Ten Little Known Facts About Super Bowl XLV (45)

Ten Little Known Facts About Super Bowl XLV (45)

DALLAS - The Green Bay Packers defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25. Christina Aguilera flubbed the words to the Stars Spangled Banner and Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas performed at halftime yelling, hollering, and screaming so loud that the Dallas Police Department actually issued them a citation for 'disturbing the peace.' TEN LITTLE KNOW FACTS ABOUT SUPER BOWL XLV (45) * The Super Bo...

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Funny story: How to: Write How to Articles

How to: Write How to Articles

Want to write a how to article? Well,this is the guide for you! Written by the team at Inhopeless Literary Solutions (TM) (a subsidy of Inhopeless Corp.(TM)), this will be the only guide. This is the real guide. All the other guides are just imitations. 1) Think of a cool name for a how to article. There would be a suggestion, but then again, we have writers' block, and even if we did, we would...

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