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Funny story: I'm Just a Laidback and Festively Plump Individual

I'm Just a Laidback and Festively Plump Individual

I'm a stress-free type of guy who takes life with a carefree attitude. I guess you can say I'm just a laidback and festively plump individual and there is nothing wrong with that. I guarantee it. Think of how beneficial technologies like transportation, cellular devices, and the Internet. As long as someone or something else does the work for me, I'm ready to go. I value transportation. For ex...

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Funny story: Women Live Longer Than Men Because They Aren't Married To Women

Women Live Longer Than Men Because They Aren't Married To Women

Studies show in a deep part of missouri that indeed, women do in fact live longer than men because they aren't married to women. Donald Trump says he "isn't really surprised" by the news. A local bystander by the name of 'Dick Trickle' says "he f...

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Funny story: The Cell Cycle: Development of a Productive Life

The Cell Cycle: Development of a Productive Life

Life begins when the alarm of my fully charged cell phone shouts, "Hit snooze, hit snooze! Just five more minutes. Sleeping five more minutes won't hurt anyone. Trust me, I'll wake you up again." Five minutes later, my cell phone, Ringo, screams, "It's time, time to open your eyes and do something productive. Get up, get dressed, get ready now!" Ringo is my best friend. He reminds me to do t...

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Funny story: Newlywed Husband Wants Sex All The Time

Newlywed Husband Wants Sex All The Time

Dear Mom, Well we have been married two months today and I have been wanting to discuss something with you but couldn't do it in person or on the telephone since the government bugs everything, including e-mails. It's a little embarrassing but I was wondering if when you and dad got married did he want to have sex all the time? I can understand most nights but not all the time. I love Bi...

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Funny story: Changing of the Guards

Changing of the Guards

Every day, people, just like buffalo herds in Africa, intently watch a despicable sight: a woman being attacked by a number of masked assailants, here; there, a weak buffalo or calf by a single lion. The masked men vigorously pull away the shoulder-strap purse of a woman, leaving home for shopping or other businesses, with impunity, in public thoroughfares. The more heinous spectacle is the ever-i...

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Funny story: Five Important Things I Have Learned In Life' (So You Don't Make Same Mistakes)

Five Important Things I Have Learned In Life' (So You Don't Make Same Mistakes)

During our dinner date, I took what I thought was my heart medication. Within 30 minutes I realized I had committed a colossal boner. I think the saddest thing about a guy falling asleep at the wheel and dying is that in all likelihood, the last thing on earth he heard was Yanni on the radio. I'd never make it on one of those Survivor shows. Every time I think about eating somethi...

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Funny story: On The Other Hand... by Jackson Hoff

On The Other Hand... by Jackson Hoff

Hoff Here. There are many aberrations in nature that are well known as aberrations. Calves with two heads. Shell-less turtles. Dwarf anythings. Journalists. Guidance Counsellors. The list goes on. But there is one that, strangely, oddly, has slowly, imperceptibly gained acceptance in almost every society in the modern world. We've all most likely come in contact with at least one in our lives.

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Funny story: Wendy Davis Releases More Details about Her Life

Wendy Davis Releases More Details about Her Life

Austin, Texas: Following on her claim to be "more focused on the detail," Wendy Davis disclosed more information today about her amazing life story. Below are some of the previously unknown details, listed in no particular order of importance. She dated Elvis, O. J. Simpson, George Clooney, and JFK, Jr. at the same time. She was a stealth member of Seal Team Six on the Bin Laden kill missi...

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Funny story: The Moleturds Are Forced to Move...Again

The Moleturds Are Forced to Move...Again

"Is that brown stuff on the bathroom wall what I think it is?" That all came later. Let's just say we had to move again. It all started when I paid an innocent trick on my coworkers. You know. The old brownie joke that I thought they would think was funny but I guess it was too much. Especially for Big Lonzo all three hundred pounds..maybe 275 after the brownies. The result, I had to go tell...

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Funny story: Ford Relaunches Pinto for 2015!

Ford Relaunches Pinto for 2015!

Ford Motor executives announced today that the company will be relaunching its most popular bomb-on-wheels for model year 2015! Like the popular retro Mustang that was introduced in 2006, the new Pinto will look much the same as its 1970's counte…

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Funny story: Life Without Youth

Life Without Youth

When health or wealth is threatened, we get fearful just like a fish in a tank after hearing a sudden knock on the container. This reaction is called fear. Fear, in most living things, is said to be basic or innate. A sudden change of environment such as light, sound etc causes fear in us. Additionally, we have a tendency to be afraid of the unknown. Naturally, the econ-political changes of the pr...

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Funny story: Rosie O'Donnell To Play 'The Susan Boyle Story?

Rosie O'Donnell To Play 'The Susan Boyle Story?

Except for the weight problem, no one really expected Rosie O' Donnell to play the 52-year-old singer. "I can lip sync the songs. I can do a good job with all the material Susan has", stated O'Donnell. "Leave it to me. I'll do a good job. It's a...

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Funny story: Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

According to a survey conducted at a college in Cupertino, CA, obsessive nose rubbing may actually be bad for your social life. While there are no definite root causes for such an odd habit, college students like Matthew E. explain that "It's hila...

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Funny story: Seventy four

Seventy four

The Beatles stopped at 64, but if you go further the next mile post is 74. At least it is for me because there is not much else to shout about. I mean, to have lived to 74 is some sort of achievement. I've had to remain alive and be getting enough money to at least feed myself. But then the next achievement. Married for yonks - could be a bit dull and tedious but it is something! Now I'm...

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Funny story: Dick Cheney Wants To Be A Woman

Dick Cheney Wants To Be A Woman

The former Vice President to George W. Bush announced today that he would like to be a woman, causing nearly 90 people choke on coffee at breakfast time morning. Known for being a rugged individual and hated by the left, it would have been the yea...

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Funny story: Mans Recent Discovery of the Meaning of Acronym "YOLO" Forces Him to Take Another Look at His "FML" Stance

Mans Recent Discovery of the Meaning of Acronym "YOLO" Forces Him to Take Another Look at His "FML" Stance

BOREDVILLE, WI - "I found out from my oldest kid that YOLO means you only live once," stated James Sadzack Sr, 52, of Boredville, WI. "I found out the meaning of FML about three or four years ago," Sadzack went on to say, "and that's the mantra I'...

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Funny story: "It's a hard life, innit!"

"It's a hard life, innit!"

During the past few week's Doctors surgeries have seen an increase in a strange new virus which has spread across the UK and affected the male population aged 18-90 years, Doctors report packed surgeries as more and more males succumb to this hereto...

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