The leading manufacturer of toilet paper (a.k.k. toilet tissue, butt wipe, or bumm fodder) in the United States, is being sued by a consumer for "pain and suffering" after following directions printed on the package. Irma Peepers of Tripoly, Wis...
North Pole - Santa Claus has filed a class action lawsuit against the United States stemming from what Santa says was specific targeting of him, his sleigh and his reindeer. Santa Claus claims that last Wednesday he was doing preliminary flig...
Manufacturers of marmalade, jelly, and preserves feel that they have a large enough grievance against jelly bottlers to sue them for equal time. Dabney Rind or Smith's Marmalade Corporation, speaking for all of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit, issued...
In a press conference held in her late Grandmother's house, Little Red Riding Hood has admitted that she lied in her allegations against the Big Bad Wolf. "When I said that he tried to eat me that one night forty years ago, it was actually consentua...
Film critic Roger Ebert has announced that he is suing hitchhikers across the freeway and interstate system for violations of copyright. Several years ago, Ebert and his late partner, Gene Siskel, trademarked their famous "thumbs up" symbols. "Th...
Detroit, Michigan - Two men had an idea back in 1981 for bottling water. They shared it with a giant soda company who promptly stole it. Having sued and won over a billion dollars, due to the Phizz Cola Company not contesting it, the two are about...
History is littered with companies that have been forced to change their names because somebody else got there first. The most recent high profile case was The World Wrestling Federation attempting to wrestle the name WWF off the World Wildlife Fund.
Atlanta, Ga/ Erectile Dysfunction Update - A smiling Georgia man, identified only as Dick from Valdasta, walked out of Civil Court this morning $9.25m richer after being awarded that sum for having to deal with a two (2) day erection after self medic...
Following the EU's recent successful extortion of large sums from Microsoft, for unfairly including its free Internet Explorer browser with its brand-leading OS, "Windows", a committee has been formed to find other complicated words to describe and i...
DANVILLE, VA - Djene Pasquezanala says no one told him that if you don't wash your hands after using the bathroom, it's a recipe for disaster. Now, his employer will be forced to eat the cost of 300,000 cases of their popular Toll Booth Cookies whil...
LOS ANGELES - Talk about giving the hairy eyeball! - In an unprecedented move last week, Academy Award-winning director Martin Scorsese filed criminal charges against popular household cleaning mascot Mr. Clean. Scorsese, 66, claimed that Clean, pres...
The IFPI have gone lawsuit crazy after winning its case against The Pirate Bay. They are suing over 2000 Internet sites that end with "bay.com" or "bay.org" their PR spokesman, Serena Sutton-Smith, said. When asked why auction powerhouse eBay was...
Only three words were in the defence attorney's vocabulary during the trial; "Take That!", "Hold It!" and "Objection!" all of which were shouted. Surprisingly, despite the lack of evidence, witnesses and talking in general, Phoenix Wright still won t...
A Georgia woman who says she lost her memory on the Mind Eraser roller coaster a year ago is taking Seven Flags Amusement Park to court. Cheryl Robin Heinson said the shoulder harness failed to hold her securely in place and she repeatedly struck...
In an unholy row God has declared that he is to sue a toy company. The firm manufactures the world's best childrens play figures and dolls, however, God is less than impressed. His legal representative Gabriel said 'When God saw their figures He...
Lawyers for the estate of the late Jade Goody have sued a large multi-national candy making company for trademark infringement in International Courts (through the United Nations). Attorney Mark Schaeffer said that "we have determined that the com...
Have you been injured in a writing accident that wasn't your fault? Pen slipped and gouged your hand? Ink-leakage-related trauma? Writer's block? Headache through brain over-usage? Paper Cut? There's always someone else to blame! Get on the phone now to Writers Claim Line on 555 1818 - you will get 100% of your compensation, often within a week. Don't delay, call today!...
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