BANGCOCK - OK, OK, not all Thai food will turn you into a zombie, but a certain "Dawn of the Dead-esque" fungus is infecting Thai ants, turning them into zombies that the fungi then controls. According to a report published by Harvard University s...
PYONGYANG - It's chaos here! In its first 'proxy war' in decades, UFOs have descended on Pyongyang, decimating everything in their path with their plasma blasters and space lasers. While the UFOs, thought to be here at the behest of the United St...
Centerville, NT - A disturbing new fetish is sweeping the nation, something so radical it hasn't even been denounced by the Catholic church yet. A spokesman for Pope Benedict has confirmed that a papal decree banning the practice will be released as...
(Jun 19, Washington) - The president has been getting lots of kudos for a lightning-fast, Mr. Miyagi-worthy swipe he employed to slay a pesky house fly that was buzzing him in mid-interview during a taping with CNBC that airs next Monday. I contac...
Three new housemates are set to enter the Big Brother house tomorrow; but they aren't boring this time! Juan, Carlos, and Jose are set to the enter the house wearing poncho and sombrero and carryin maracas. But they won't become real housemates. T...
Zombies have overrun Washington DC. They appear to be normal people, but their ridicules behavior is apparent to anyone who pays attention to politics. Their actions may be the cause of a tiny insect that has been introduced to the United States by...
They stink, they're rotting away, they look disgusting, they drool viscose black gunk and nobody in their right mind would ever want to sleep with one. They just aren't sexy. And yet... Zombies have become the darlings of the literary, film, and p...
Hollywood actor Woody Harrelson once again attacked a zombie, this time a reporter from WBRN late Saturday night, outside a New York nightclub but had a good excuse. The paparazzi was another zombie", stated Harrelson. "You could smell the brains...
Woody Harrelson just finished a movie called "Zombieland" in which he was constantly under attack by Zombies. It's an eerie parallel to his real life where the mindless anti-hemp crowd has been stalking him relentlessly. It all came to a head in a...
A brutal attack on Adam Lambert's following his performance Tuesday night has been traced to the zombie of Johnny Cash. Apparently enraged at Lambert's strange rendition of "Ring of Fire", the decomposed corpse of Cash clawed its way from the grave a…
Former football legend and renowned boozehound Paul Gascoigne has revealed that he is now an undead zombie walking the land, following repeated deaths while in rehab for his alcohol problems. The troubled star, who scored hundreds more pints than...
The World News has confirmed that the dead are systematically coming back to life. But that's not the kicker. Reports from all over the globe are confirming that they are not after brains at all but the legs of the living. One doctor in New York f...
New Orleans celebrated its biggest Mardi Gras since Hurricane Katrina's devastation in 2005 as Fat Tuesday's revelry only led to 27 shootings, plus two others found floating in the canal with their brains missing. Police said seventeen other bysta...
Hackers in Austin, Texas broke into several electronic road signs yesterday and modified each to display various zombie-related messages, something that Texas Public Works found to be funny, not! They included: Caution! Zombies! Ahead! Nazi...
Once again a certain U.S. Presidential election recount has been demanded by You-Know-Who and his band of far right Republican toadies again because they believe that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote. Apparently in their over-exuberance t…
Wall Street, like a corpse awaiting autopsy on a slab, still shows occasional signs of disturbing life. The Dow Jones, the tachycardia machine of its life impulses, was almost disconnected when it dropped so many points that all specialists thoug...
Haddonfield, Illinois, USA, Halloween night. - Following an upsurge in panic about the undead rising up in order to eat the living Professor Arnold Stovepipe of the Harvard Institute for Paranormal Research announced that there really wasn't anything...
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