Blood and milk flowed in Vatican City when a papal bull, Barney, attacked and raped the winner of the Happy Cow contest; Kirsten. As everyone knows the happy cow was on a worldwide tour promoting the milk industry and the Vatican sought to improv...
Just when you thought that the Catholic Church couldn't possibly do anything more to make a horrible situation worse, news agencies are reporting a new Vatican edict: No Child Left Behind. Apparently, according to sources inside the Vatican, it i...
The performance art troupe who recently sabotaged an Ieka advertising campaign on the Paris Metro - dancers staged a five-minute flash mob protest around sofas and trompe-l'oeil bookcases and wardrobes placed on Metro platforms by the Swedish furnitu...
Paddy McSodabread, the Irish state Emperor, this morning declared war with the Vatican city after demands for retribution from the Catholic community prompted decisive and swift action from their government. The Pope responded to the declaration o...
Vatican - (Gay Ass Mess): The tidy little earner deep beneath the Catacombs is now in receivership following the arrest of a Vatican choirboy and one of the Pope's ceremonial Gay Gentlemen Ushers. Nigerian-born Ghinedu Ehiem, a 'soprano' from the...
The Pope got so drunk last Friday night that he started ranting and raving about the secrets in the Vatican. "If people only new" laughing loudly "The stories in the bible are the Grimm's fairy tales of that time they are all made up, all the proo...
There was panic in the Vatican yesterday and their switchboard was ringing non stop after radio broadcasts apparently announced that 270,000 priests were to be scrapped. Thousands of priests phoned in thinking they were losing their job of represe...
The Vatican newspaper and radio station have called the film "Avatar" simplistic, and criticized it for promoting the worship of nature as a substitute for religion. Vatican Radio stated that even if the movie is in 3D and a breakthrough in filmi...
Sofia - (X-Files): The sheathing of priests' gonads blocks telepathetic (sic) flow according to Space Research Institute of the Bulgarian Academy of Sciences deputy CEO Lachezar Filipov. Addressing a Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI)...
[cue choir humming and church organ quietly playing] 'People, we are here, this is now, we have come to this holy place, this hallowed temple of Christianity, this sceptred isle of holy waffality in a sea of troubled people, troubled people I have turned my back on just as soon as I was elected. My voice beginning low then rising dramatically and self-importantly, then falling lower again insin...
Deadline, Vatican City, Rome, Italy. Following claims from nutjob Phillip Garrido, the kidnapper of Jaycee Lee Dugard, that he kept God in a box, and held regular conversations with the Divine One, the Vatican, which until now has been reluctant t...
Skoob1999, reputedly the somewhat embarrassed possessor of the world's smallest penis, which apparently 'boasts' the length of a thumbnail, and the girth of a bus ticket, was anticipating an idyllic holiday in the Eternal City of Rome, in an attempt...
In a surprise announcement, senior Vatican officials today leaked the content of Pope Benedict's up-coming encyclical Bacterium en Vitam Eternam Primum Est. Life, the officials informed a rapt audience, is sacred. Bacteria, viruses, fungi....all life...
Pope Benedict XVI has suffered a fall during a session practicing Nazi salutes today in northern Italy. The Vatican said he had accidentally slipped while trying to simultaneously give the salute with his right arm and goosestep across the room in th...
Pope Benedict has caused a stir with his comments after suffering a broken wrist while holidaying in Northern Italy. "First he exploded into a string of expletives, then he started blaming the gays and the gypsies and the Jews," explains Cardinal...
AOSTA, ITALY: Pope Benedict waved and smiled at well-wishers gathered outside a hospital Friday where he underwent surgery to set a fractured right wrist following a fall at his Alpine vacation chalet. Vatican spokesperson and next in line to th...
Pope Benedict XVI was in his glory, hosting a Vatican get-together for the spouses of the G8 summit members. All in all, it was a fairly tame event. Italian party planners at the Vatican had suggested that mud wrestling and/or a wet T-shirt co...
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