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Funny satire stories about Scotland

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Funny story: Top Cop Predicts Old Firm Carnage

Top Cop Predicts Old Firm Carnage

A top cop has predicted "utter carnage" in Scotland ahead of Easter Sunday's Old Firm clash at Ibrox Park between Rangers and Celtic. Inspector Wullie McPherson predicted an upturn of up to 80% on domestic violence figures, principally visited upo...

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Funny story: Alleged comedian Frankie Boyle to be the new voice of Sat Nav

Alleged comedian Frankie Boyle to be the new voice of Sat Nav

In a unique press reception held in the form of a swearing-in ceremony, the alleged comedian Frankie Boyle has been announced as the new voice for satellite navigation systems. Popular systems Tim-Tim and Germain have confirmed that users can now...

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Funny story: Prince William and Kate Middleton to visit Blackburn, Scotland next week, home of Susan Boyle; Susan's hoping to keep her loony fans 'at bay'

Prince William and Kate Middleton to visit Blackburn, Scotland next week, home of Susan Boyle; Susan's hoping to keep her loony fans 'at bay'

Having recently received a warm but wet welcome on their visit to Blackburn, England earlier this week, Kate and Wills are going to be heading up to Scotland to visit Blackburn, home of Susan Boyle. Susan has invited them to her new home for a Sco...

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Funny story: Brown and Boyle Face SFA Probe

Brown and Boyle Face SFA Probe

Aberdeen manager Craig Brown and Motherwell owner John Boyle are to face a Scottish Football Association hearing after their touchline altercation at the end of last week's SPL fixture. The SFA's Disciplinary Committee confirmed that the two men's...

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Funny story: Scotland Move Up In FIFA Rankings

Scotland Move Up In FIFA Rankings

Despite being totally humiliated and beaten 2-0 by Brazil in last week's friendly, Scotland have risen up the FIFA rankings. Craig Levein's side were sitting in 50th spot after their defeat of Northern Ireland in February's inaugural Carling Natio...

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Funny story: SPL Promise Rangers Severe Sanctions

SPL Promise Rangers Severe Sanctions

The Scottish Premier League have threatened Rangers with the "severest of sanctions" should the Glasgow club slip into administration. The cash strapped outfit may be plunged into administration if HMRC insist on payment of a multi million pound t...

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Funny story: Rangers F.C. Scottish footie giants go bust!

Rangers F.C. Scottish footie giants go bust!

One of Scotland's most proud heritages could go bust, Rangers F.C. Footie giants in Scotland and minnows around the world face a dire financial period hoping that the Inland Revenue doesn't knock on their door again. The Scottish renowned for thei...

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Funny story: Scotland Boss Proud after Brazil Friendly

Scotland Boss Proud after Brazil Friendly

Scotland manager Craig Levein has declared himself "proud and honoured to have been comprehensively beaten by Brazil" at the Emirates yesterday. The bespectacled boss, usually very measured in his post match comments, was positively gushing in his...

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Funny story: Old Firm Fans To Take SFA To Court

Old Firm Fans To Take SFA To Court

Rangers and Celtic fans will take the Scottish Football Association to the European Court of Human Rights if they either arrange Old Firm games for Monday nights or force them to be played behind closed doors. Old Firm supporters groups have appoi...

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Funny story: SFA Chief Rages At Old Firm

SFA Chief Rages At Old Firm

The Scottish Football Association's chief executive Stewart Regan is threatening to take a hard line against the Old Firm after the sectarian singing that blighted the recent League Cup Final. The SFA chief was attending the UEFA Congress in Paris...

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Funny story: Protection Sought For Scottish Products

Protection Sought For Scottish Products

Scottish MEP's have set aside party politics to formally apply for two well known Scottish products to be given protected status in the European Union. The cross party group of MEP's have applied for Protected Food Name Status for Coatbridge Chip...

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Funny story: Scots Tory Conference - "A Great Success"

Scots Tory Conference - "A Great Success"

Scottish Tory leader Annabel Goldie has described as this year's conference in Perth as "the best one yet". A beaming Goldie addressed the press outside the Dewars Centre immediately after the 2011 Conference had drawn to a close: This year's conference has been a resounding success. Only 10% of our older delegates had to be given artificial resuscitation this year, which represents a 50%...

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Funny story: Cameron Reveals Long Term Plan For Scottish Tories

Cameron Reveals Long Term Plan For Scottish Tories

Prime Minister David Cameron has rallied Scottish Tories at their annual conference. Yesterday he told a packed phone box along the road from the Dewars Centre in Perth that the party should "prepare for the realistic expectation that our numbers...

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Funny story: Naked Driver Sought By Police

Naked Driver Sought By Police

Police are appealing for information about a naked man seen driving his car in Dumfries, Scotland, twice in a matter of days. On both occasions the man has been seen to get out of the car and go to the rear of the vehicle before getting back behin...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Is Tired Of Twilight

Robert Pattinson Is Tired Of Twilight

Twilight franchise star Robert Pattinson continues to sweep all before him when it comes to being a top star and even topper sex symbol. You would think he would be cock-a-hoop. But Robert Pattinson is not completely cock-a-hoop. It's unlikely Rob...

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Funny story: Glasgow Celtic, the Susan Boyle effect and the debacle at Parkhead

Glasgow Celtic, the Susan Boyle effect and the debacle at Parkhead

The truth about the debacle at Parkhead between Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic can be revealed. Glasgow Celtic (not THE Celtics of Boston) players have taken to reading the Susan Boyle autobiography, "Who I was born to be", before each match.

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Funny story: Old Firm to form Elite League among themselves

Old Firm to form Elite League among themselves

It's been coming for a while. But finally today, it's happened. After last night's explosive big game in which not only fans but members of the clubs' management teams clashed, the Old Firm, the Glasgow Police, the Scottish Premier League and the...

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