We are not used to hearing from Santa Claus, at this time of year but Santa, is so annoyed with the amount of General Election, rubbish taking up the TV, that he has come out with a sensational announcement. Speaking at a press conference, in Icel...
Austin, Texas - In a bold bid to protect the children of Texas from the encroaching socialist ideas of sharing of toys and fair play, today State Senator BillyJoe "Barito" Buffet introduced legislation aimed at keeping Santa Claus off the roofs of l...
Winter Olympics officials have banned Santa Claus and his sleigh from competing in any Bobsleigh events at the Winter Olympics. Santa, who wanted to compete under the name Kris Kringle, was escorted from the Bobsleigh course and told don't come b...
A week after completing his annual goodwill mission, Santa Claus admitted that for almost two hundred years he's harbored growing doubts about the existence of children. Santa told reporters at the December 26 global press conference and debriefin...
ANCHORAGE, AK -- Postal workers at the North Pole were inundated this week by millions of letters from children who received video game systems instead of the two front teeth they requested. "I've been good all year," nine-year-old Barry Nostrom l...
For hundreds of years Santa Claus has delivered toys free to all the children of the world but now Santa may have to hang up his sack because he now has debts as high as Americas national debt of over thirteen trillion dollars. Santa now back in t...
Little children woke up all over the world to an enormous disappointment this Christmas Morning, wondering why there were no presents under the big pine. The answer: Santa Claus is no more! Last night, while flying over London, England, the jol...
Residents of the Arctic town of Sealgut Alaska have resorted to extreme means to get their heating fuel supplies for this winter. Faced by two months of near total darkness and bone-chilling cold with little economic resources to carry them throu...
TJ McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina and a leader in the T-Bagger movement called a news conference today to declare that Santa Claus was a government agent and a Red Menace. McCorkle stated, "We know what's happening. Our Mamas didn't raise...
'Twas The Night Before Christmas 2009 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring except me and my spouse All the presents were wrapped the stockings full of stuff my wife, she did sigh as she sat 'oh', I said, 'you think you have it rough' The children were all nestled, snug in their beds while I looked at the race track and doll house...
NORTH POLE, A.P. - Mrs. Santa Claus revealed she had a brief but fiery relationship with Tiger Woods in a tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey today. Mrs. Claus, a sprightly Caucasian elf who remains quite fetching for a centenarian, said she ev...
Normally too busy to pay attention to himself, what with all the lists to check twice, the elves to watch over, the reindeer to feed and Mrs. Claus to keep happy, nobody ever asks Santa what he wants for Christmas. That was until now. With an appointment on the books scheduled eight months in advance with the fat man himself, our northern hemisphere reporter S. Noble Chanzinell, met with Mr.
"Santa Claus: a public health pariah?" is the title of a piece that is appearing in the Christman edition of the British Medical Journal (BMJ 2009;339:b5261). What it's essentially saying is that good old Saint Nick should lose all that weight so as to be a healthy role model for our global youth. How much more can Santa do to be politically correct nowadays? He's already done so much in or...
In an early morning raid police officers from the North pole constabulary child protection squad have sensationally arrested Father Christmas. A police spokesman stated "When we entered the premises we found Mr Claus sitting in front of his comput...
North Pole - Stanislaw Ladvigdar, President of E.L.F. Local 212, stated that the elves have been working under the same contract for the last 300 years and if a new contract isn't offered by midnight tonight, they are going to go on strike. The El...
(New York-NY) Sarah Palin took time off from a book signing for "Going Rogue" to make a comment on Santa Clause and Barack Obama. "I wouldn't be surprised if Santa starts chanting "Ho-Ho-Obama. I mean they're both socialists." The comment came las...
Santa Claus appeared at a press conference in Copenhagen today only yards away from the conference on Global Warming and slammed the Global Warming scaremongers claiming its just as bloody freezing in the North pole as its always been. Santa was i...
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