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Funny story: Unemployed empty heir-head Kate parades her skeletal remains

Unemployed empty heir-head Kate parades her skeletal remains

London - A Kings Road shopping expedition has seen Kate Middleton invest in falsies to insert under her bridal gown following a public outcry about her emaciated form. "If she was a Dartmoor pony there'd be an outcry to the RSPCA," a worried Whors...

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Funny story: Irish Chef Booted Out of Royal Kitchen

Irish Chef Booted Out of Royal Kitchen

Seamus O'Toole, thought to be one of Ireland's leading chefs, has been fired, in an ignominious brawl, from the Royal kitchen that is currently in the throes of preparing the feast for the great wedding. Over a hundred kitchen staff stood in amaz...

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Funny story: Al-Qaeda Kate Middleton Dress Bomb Plot Uncovered

Al-Qaeda Kate Middleton Dress Bomb Plot Uncovered

Security service chiefs say they have uncovered a plot by well-known terrorist group al-Qaeda to carry out a Royal Wedding bomb attack on the dress due to be worn by Kate Middleton. But, they say, the attack would have proved pointless, as the dress...

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Funny story: Fighter Jets To Scramble To Combat Royal Wedding UFO Kamikaze Attack

Fighter Jets To Scramble To Combat Royal Wedding UFO Kamikaze Attack

Classified documents obtained by Skoob News International reveal that on the day of the Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, fighter jets will patrol the skies above the capital to protect against kamikaze UFO attempts to subvert...

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Funny story: Those Unable to Attend the Royal Wedding

Those Unable to Attend the Royal Wedding

Excuses, excuses! From Rolfo Toiletto, Master of Ceremony for the royal wedding - the editor of "Crack" (magazine devoted to the lifestyles of the aristocracy) managed to secure a list of all those who will not be attending the royal wedding and their excuses. Here are some of them: Germaine Greer: "I can hardly support my tits these days let alone the drooping institution of marriage." Sir...

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Funny story: The Queen Planning to Die to Stop Wedding

The Queen Planning to Die to Stop Wedding

In a last ditch attempt to save the Nation from the perils of 'an ordinary woman' as a future Queen, the current democratically elected hereditary monarch, is giving her all to block the deal. William has called her threat 'Blackmail' but there is...

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Funny story: Toxic oak processionary moth wreaks havoc with Middleton coat of arms

Toxic oak processionary moth wreaks havoc with Middleton coat of arms

Bucklebury, Berks - Recently hatched Thaumetopoea Processionea larvae are rampaging through acorns sprigs adorning the newly forged Middleton family coat of arms. Their toxic setae - or heirs (sick) - are taking just seconds to construct communal...

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Funny story: Police snipers given permission to shoot spectators at royal wedding.

Police snipers given permission to shoot spectators at royal wedding.

Specialist teams from Scotland Yard have told the government that stalkers and 'royal fanatics' pose a bigger threat than terrorists at the royal event in London on 29th April, and as a result of the warning all armed security police on royal duty wi...

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Funny story: Taj Mahal royal honeymoon is doomed warns Aishwarya Rai

Taj Mahal royal honeymoon is doomed warns Aishwarya Rai

Mumbai - Rumors that Kate and William are heading to India on honeymoon have been met with horror among Bollywood's astro-savvy elite. "By all means take Kate on the ganja trail to Goa," Aishwarya Rai commented, "maybe even Kathmandu for the hashi...

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Funny story: Wills and Kate may as well have been sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole

Wills and Kate may as well have been sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole

It was so refreshing to me to read, a few moments ago, an article written by Martin Amis. I admit I hadn't known who he was/is until a few minutes ago. I did enjoy and agree with his column in an online newspaper. He says the Queen doesn't listen. I can BELIEVE that because she has always appeared to me to be an extremely selfish woman. Poor Prince William and Kate will now be under the...

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Funny story: Royal Eugenicist Declares Kate Middleton "Acceptable"

Royal Eugenicist Declares Kate Middleton "Acceptable"

In the run-up to the royal wedding between Prince William and the peasant girl Kate Middleton, we have caught many glimpses of royal life. Not only have we learnt in excruciating detail the minute-by-minute plans for the wedding, but also what Kate w...

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Funny story: Trying to Escape the Weeding

Trying to Escape the Weeding

I am trying to escape from all the treacle dripping from the media about the weeding day. I don't see why I should do the weeding, my allotment is in fine shape and I will be spending the forthcoming weeding holiday with earphones firmly in my ears t...

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Funny story: Ex-Diana butler Paul Burrell slams 'rollercoaster tragedy' royal wedding

Ex-Diana butler Paul Burrell slams 'rollercoaster tragedy' royal wedding

London - Hurtling blindfold down the rabbit-hole is how former Princess of Wales butler Paul Burrell has described the upcoming nuptial circus. "The curse of unfinished Diana RIP business is hexing the couple's big day," Burrell told weekend red t...

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Funny story: Kate will promise to obey - for a big chunk of the Civil List

Kate will promise to obey - for a big chunk of the Civil List

London - Prenup documents drawn up by Palace lawyers show a sliding scale of potential payoffs should Ms Middleton's altarside promise to Love, Honor & Obey fall at the first fence. In the first year of marriage she's to get a credit card from...

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Funny story: Pacific Island Defends Royal Wedding Stamps

Pacific Island Defends Royal Wedding Stamps

The Premier of the Pacific nation of Niue has defended his country's issuing of Royal Wedding stamps, some of which include a perforation line down the middle that splits a photo of the happy couple. Prime Minister Toke Talagi spoke to the world's...

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Funny story: No 'HRH' for Kate and no Dukedom

No 'HRH' for Kate and no Dukedom

London - Kate Middleton was told today she'll be calling herself plain Mrs Wales after the 29 April nuptials. Gargantuan ambitions to style herself Her Royal Highness Princess Catherine of Wales have been scuppered - as has the couple's bid for 'a...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton as Miss Havisham on Pratts Bottom crop circle

Kate Middleton as Miss Havisham on Pratts Bottom crop circle

Berkshire - The season's first crop circle - depicting Kate as a latter-day Miss Havisham - has appeared just yards from the Middletons' Bucklebury home. The 100ft diameter etching in a Pratts Bottom rape-seed field shows the desperate royal wan...

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