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Funny satire stories about Rob Pattinson

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Funny story: Taylor Lautner says "I would love to play Justin Bieber in a biopic of his life"

Taylor Lautner says "I would love to play Justin Bieber in a biopic of his life"

Yesterday I caught up with the twilight wolf- hunk Taylor Lautner, asking him what role he'd love to play next. The 18 year old hottie shocked us all with his reply: "I've always wanted to play Justin Bieber, I love that kid!" Well Taylor, we hadn't a clue! He added "If they ever made a film about his life, It would be phenomenal for me too play him." After asking him why he it's su...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Talk To The Dalai Lama

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Talk To The Dalai Lama

A dreadful fate seems to have befallen Twilight movie stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, writes Andy Marvel, Celebrity Metaphysics Correspondent. The toothsome twosome have been on the crest of a celebrity wave ever since the movie franch...

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Funny story: Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Robert Pattinson & Taylor Lautner Trapped In Celebrity Hell

Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Robert Pattinson & Taylor Lautner Trapped In Celebrity Hell

Plastic-fantastic flirtilicious floozy Heidi Montag had a series of seismic shocks yesterday, writes Napoleon Crippen, Poisonous Brainrot and Egomania Correspondent. Hilariously-humpable Heidi, who hails from Butt, Idaho, was hard at work flashing...

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Funny story: Heidi Montag Confesses That She'd Like To Have A Menage-A-Trois With Robert Pattinson And Taylor Lautner

Heidi Montag Confesses That She'd Like To Have A Menage-A-Trois With Robert Pattinson And Taylor Lautner

SAN FRANCISCO - Heidi Montag was having dinner at the famed Sardine Sally's Fish Diner on Fisherman's Wharf when she was approached by Evelyn Tammy Quillhoop, a reporter for The Left Coast Mirror Magazine. Quillhoop asked Montag if the rumor about...

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Funny story: Date For Twilight: Breaking Dawn May Be Moved Up to July

Date For Twilight: Breaking Dawn May Be Moved Up to July

News out of Hollywood is that "Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I" may be moved up to a July date due to some bad publicity from critics. We sent our reporter to get the latest and he says that right now it is 50-50. Although the Twilight books and mo...

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Funny story: Nina Dobrev Says Robert Pattison Proposed to Her, Pattinson Doesn't Deny It

Nina Dobrev Says Robert Pattison Proposed to Her, Pattinson Doesn't Deny It

Nina Dobrev, whom everyone expects to marry Ian Somerhalder, told reporters today that Robert Pattinson had proposed to her two months ago. "I realize his fans and the Twilight faithful won't believe me and I expect that you do not believe it eith...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to live on the island?

Isle of Wight News - Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to live on the island?

Hollywood megastars, Rob Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart are looking to set up home together on the Isle of Wight. Reports from Sandown Estate Agents owner Juliette Horby indicate that they are looking at Whitecliff Bay. "The couple were in our S...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Say Sex is Over-Rated

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Say Sex is Over-Rated

In a press conference yesterday two stars of the Twilight movie series told press agents that they thought that sex was way over-rated. "I think it was a nine or ten earlier on", stated Stewart, "but I'd only give it a five...maybe even a four now...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries

Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been helping The Police with their enquiries recently, writes Lettie S Beavanu, Popular Vampire Films & Police Affairs Correspondent. It all came about as recently as recently while the...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Has Issues With Just Who Bella Is

Kristen Stewart Has Issues With Just Who Bella Is

Twilight's hot vampyre chick Kristen Stewart and her hunky hero Robert Pattinson have been filming some super steamy and satanically sexy honeymoon scenarios for the upcoming Breaking Dawn movie. But while such scenes were a cinch for the towering...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole and Derek Hough To Star With Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart In "Vampires Of The La Brea Tar Pits"

Cheryl Cole and Derek Hough To Star With Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart In "Vampires Of The La Brea Tar Pits"

HOLLYWOOD - Academy Award winning producer Fanton Brasshorn has just announced that he will soon begin production on his latest film Vampires Of The La Brea Tar Pits. The film will be a Cripple Creek Pictures movie production in association with T...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Was Once Engaged To Lady Di Relative

Robert Pattinson Was Once Engaged To Lady Di Relative

He was only 19 at the time but according to what was released by the press this morning, actor Robert Pattinson was once engaged to a distant cousin of the late Lady Diana, former wife of Prince Charles. The lady's name is apparently 'Anne Hollowa...

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Funny story: WikiLeaks: Putin Says Robert Pattinson No Relation To Vlad The Impaler!

WikiLeaks: Putin Says Robert Pattinson No Relation To Vlad The Impaler!

Former(?) Russian leader Vladimir Putin was quoted as saying that there was no way an actor like Robert Pattinson could be related to Vlad the Impaler. "That pansy Pattinson would crap his pants if he ever came around old Vlad with all those peopl...

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Funny story: 174 'Twilight: Eclipse' Viewers Hospitalized By Robert Pattinson / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary.

174 'Twilight: Eclipse' Viewers Hospitalized By Robert Pattinson / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary.

Summit Entertainment, the movie studio which has made approximately $905 jillion dollars moistening the panties of young women via the 'Twilight' movie series, has landed in hot water after 174 fans of the new 'Twilight: Eclipse' DVD were hspitalized...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton To Star In The Lesbian Vampire Movie, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell Bitch!"

Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton To Star In The Lesbian Vampire Movie, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell Bitch!"

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Zac Efron has informed his grandmother, Brunicia Flossie Efron, 87, that he will soon star in a movie with Robert Pattinson, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton. Efron told his grandma that he will be portraying Chauncey Pepperbiffle, a...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Furious At Nude Lesbian Barbie Calendar

Kristen Stewart Furious At Nude Lesbian Barbie Calendar

A controversial Nude Lesbian Barbie Calendar created by an Argentine artist duo has fired the ire of Twilight starlet Kristen Stewart, writes Val Cano, Prepostorous Recycling For Cash Correspondent. Kristen's ire was fired in England, where she ha...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Accused By Willow Palin As Baby's Dad!

Robert Pattinson Accused By Willow Palin As Baby's Dad!

The latest news from the Palin Bunch is that Willow Palin, younger sister of Bristol, is pregnant. The story was covered by a national tabloid and thus far, has not been confirmed. Willow has told our own Chester Ingraham that if she is pregnant,...

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