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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: "He nearly ran me off the road!" claims indignant 94-year-old woman driver

"He nearly ran me off the road!" claims indignant 94-year-old woman driver

(Carmel-by-the-Sea, California) - A police officer driving a two-tone Ford Crown Victoria Interceptor nearly collided with a 94-year-old woman driving a Lincoln Town Car, according to her. Said Mrs. Flossie Blauhaar, "I was on my way to the hair s...

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Funny story: FBI Seeking the Elderly

FBI Seeking the Elderly

With no raises for the elderly the last two years, the silver haired generation is seeking ways to subsidize their income. The FBI became aware of this, and one of their "covert" divisions is capitalizing on this need. They have been recruiting...

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Funny story: Brit launched into space on Stairlift

Brit launched into space on Stairlift

Barely 50 years after the USSR and USA first put a human into space, the UK yesterday finally achieved the same giant leap in rocket technology - when 97 year old Edith Pickles became the first British astronaut put into permanent orbit by a wholly B...

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Funny story: UK government admit to gerontophilia

UK government admit to gerontophilia

A UK government spokesman has admitted that spending cuts aimed to hit everyone under the age of 66 were implemented because they want to shag old people.   'We want to have sex with old people' admitted a government spokesperson. 'This is why we...

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Funny story: Grandma Organizes Massive Senior No Voter Turnout for 2010 Elections

Grandma Organizes Massive Senior No Voter Turnout for 2010 Elections

Gertrude McGillicuddy is 78 years old and she is fed up with the feds. The feisty grandma from Skokie, Illinois is in the process of organizing a campaign that, if successful, will have millions of her peers staying home on Election Day. Ironically,...

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Funny story: Old man asks local library for a face book

Old man asks local library for a face book

In local news, an old man has befuddled the local library by requesting a book about face, "I have been reading about it a lot in the paper recently" said the perplexed pensioner "I don't really know what a face book is, but what with that new film o...

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Funny story: Bi-Curious Grandmothers a rarity. Yes! We have no Bi-Nana's today.

Bi-Curious Grandmothers a rarity. Yes! We have no Bi-Nana's today.

A recent research group looking into socio-sexual proclivities have discovered that straight males are alleged to be the most common group. They say 'alleged' as it appears there may be some undecided or those that wish to keep this to themselves.

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Funny story: 127 year old woman lives longer with 'Calgon'

127 year old woman lives longer with 'Calgon'

Born in 1883 a Maggie May from Glasgow talks about how she has managed to stay alive for so long. "I ran out of salt one day when I was eating my fish and chips, so I sprinkled some 'Calgon' over my dinner" "It tasted lovely so I stopped using...

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Funny story: Japanese 'quantitative easing', 77,000 people aged 120 or over, 884 aged 150 or higher, claiming pensions!

Japanese 'quantitative easing', 77,000 people aged 120 or over, 884 aged 150 or higher, claiming pensions!

Toyko, Japan: Japanese authorities have revealed that it has thousands of people listed as still alive, who have been dead for years. More than 77,000 people aged 120 or over - 884 aged 150 or higher - are listed on government records as still al...

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Funny story: Granny Brothel Closed In Florida!

Granny Brothel Closed In Florida!

"Want to have a good time old boy?" was their opening line every single time a granny went along the bars along the beach in Haskins, Florida, a small village near the Gulf Coast. It was delivered by a well-dressed 69-87 year-old with white hair and...

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Funny story: Cat dumps 45 year old woman in bin - and posts video on YouTube

Cat dumps 45 year old woman in bin - and posts video on YouTube

There has been outrage among Human Rights organisations after a cat was seen dumping a 45 year old woman in a litter bin. The woman, Mary Bale, was effortlessly picked up by the moggy, shaken and unceremoniously dumped in the trash can in Coventry, w...

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Funny story: Old people feel cold later in life - Official

Old people feel cold later in life - Official

The Government has made use of scientific evidence that old people feel cold after the age of 66, although some put the figure nearer 75. Dr Cameron's paper on the subject can be found in the British Medical Journal and provides much further infor...

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Funny story: 98-year old US man who made history after his 5,000th trip on roller coaster thought he was "lost" after being dumped by his family who had no healthcare plan.

98-year old US man who made history after his 5,000th trip on roller coaster thought he was "lost" after being dumped by his family who had no healthcare plan.

Round and round and round he went. A total of 100 times in a day. By the time the ride shut down - 98 year old Abe Rounder had set a world record: A lifteime total of 5000 rides on thee roller coaster. As ride officials helped the haggard &...

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Funny story: Nanas Target Pickpocket Crime

Nanas Target Pickpocket Crime

South Wales Police have commended a new scheme which has been set up in Cardiff City Centre. Stitch 'em Up, a service designed to combat the ever increasing problem of pickpocket crime in retail areas is the brainchild of Ms. Olwen Davies from Pe...

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Funny story: Not too old at 65

Not too old at 65

In a bid to become even more popular than the Beatles 'When I'm 64' and to defy the slogan 'The Good Die Young' the Government is to make sure people at 65 do not have to retire. In this devastating move not only are we on our way to solving the u...

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Funny story: Oldest Brit Eunice Dies At 111

Oldest Brit Eunice Dies At 111

Super sleuth reporter Herr Riballs has learned that Britain's oldest woman, Eunice Crabtree, has sadly passed away at 111. Eunice, who lived all her life in Swaffham, Norfolk, once joked that the secret of her long life was "20 Bensons, Special B...

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Funny story: Pensioner faces jail over recycling blunder

Pensioner faces jail over recycling blunder

Norma Gusset, a 95 year-old widow, faces the prospect of a prison sentence today, due to an innocent blunder with her waste recycling. Apparently, inspectors employed by Birmingham County Council, discovered not one, but two plastic bottles in the...

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