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Funny story: BP Oil Separation Experiment Proceeds As Planned

BP Oil Separation Experiment Proceeds As Planned

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Gulf of Mexico - BP's plans to use the Gulf of Mexico as a crude oil separation device are proceeding as planned. The 70,000 barrels of oil proceeding from the gash in the collapsed oil rig have been separating into different...

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Funny story: CNBC Says Tar Babies Washing Up in Louisiana: Sharpton & Jackson Leave Arizona to March in New Orleans Protest!

CNBC Says Tar Babies Washing Up in Louisiana: Sharpton & Jackson Leave Arizona to March in New Orleans Protest!

The state of Arizona was relieved from a mild irritant today when activists Al Sharpton, Charles Wrangle (sic) and Jesse Jackson rushed to Louisiana on reports from CNBC that 'Tar Babies' were washing up on shore! On Chris Matthews' show "HairBall...

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Funny story: Where is the Oil?

Where is the Oil?

NEW ORLEANS, LA - For a spill now nearly half the size of Exxon Valdez, the oil from the Deepwater Horizon disaster is pretty hard find. Satellite images show an estimated 4.6 million gallons of oil has pooled in a floating, shape-shifting blob o...

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Funny story: BP Designates 'Live Fire Zone' Along Gulf Shoreline; Vows to Shoot Whiney Protesters on Sight

BP Designates 'Live Fire Zone' Along Gulf Shoreline; Vows to Shoot Whiney Protesters on Sight

BP has designated the surrounding Gulf shorelines near their spewing oil disaster as a ''live firing zone'' in a warning to protesters, members of the press and local residents. Mercenaries and low management unrolled razor wire across roads lead...

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Funny story: Oil Executive Tossed from One of Louisiana's Best Cajun Restaurants

Oil Executive Tossed from One of Louisiana's Best Cajun Restaurants

New Orleans, LA - Oil executives returned back to their home-away-from-home in Louisiana after a grueling week in front of a Senate investigative panel to answer tough questions about the ongoing oil spill problem in the Gulf of Mexico. They decided...

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Funny story: BP Oil Leak Plugged by Rosie O'Donnell's Badonkadonk

BP Oil Leak Plugged by Rosie O'Donnell's Badonkadonk

The BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico was successfully plugged this morning, following a joint effort between the U.S. Navy, BP's Golf Ball and Rubber Tire Department, and Rosie O'Donnell. In an apparent effort to use a plan mentioned in the press...

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Funny story: BP hire Jordan Exclusive

BP hire Jordan Exclusive

BP, in a desperate attempt to stem the oil spillage gushing towards the US coastline, have hired Katie Price, aka. Jordan, in a last ditch attempt to prevent ecological disaster. Price is reputed to have accepted a 5 million dollar proposal to be...

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Funny story: Dick Cheney May Have Oil on His Hands in Oil Spill Mess

Dick Cheney May Have Oil on His Hands in Oil Spill Mess

"Big Oil Cover Up Bigger than Spill Itself," should have screamed the headlines in this morning's newspapers across the land. But alas, it was not to be. Instead, the only media outlets to pick up on the story of Halliburton's very real involvement i...

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Funny story: Gulf oil spill reaches Princess Diana Fountain

Gulf oil spill reaches Princess Diana Fountain

London - (Crude Mess): Globules of the dark slime began appearing this morning as ex-BP CEO Lord Browne prayed fervently beside the Diana shrine. The bastard son of Princess Margaret and Ronald Reagan left the UK supermajor three years ago followi...

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Funny story: Emergency Oil Spill Clean Up to Include Beach Paving

Emergency Oil Spill Clean Up to Include Beach Paving

ON THE GULF OF MEXICO - The Obama administration has released emergency plans this weekend to use the copious tar balls that are just now washing ashore, from the leak of the recent sinking of the gulf oil platform, as a paving medium. In a move...

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Funny story: Maxi-pad Maker Joins Effort to Clean up Gulf Oil Spill

Maxi-pad Maker Joins Effort to Clean up Gulf Oil Spill

A consumer products giant announced today that they have restructured their feminine products division temporarily to go ahead with plans to produce the world's largest maxi-pads for use in helping remove the oil that is permeating the waters off the...

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Funny story: BP Announces New "Harvest Your Own Oil Program"

BP Announces New "Harvest Your Own Oil Program"

Marketing Director for beleaguered giant oil company BP announced a new "Harvest Your Own Oil" program for US consumers. Newly employed, Mr. Matthews stated that the problem with deep sea oil has previously been that it is "deep down in the sea," but...

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Funny story: Pamela Anderson's Top-Shelf Idea To Solve BP Oil Disaster

Pamela Anderson's Top-Shelf Idea To Solve BP Oil Disaster

Malibu, CA - In a stunning turn, recently-displaced Dancing With The Stars contestant Pamela Anderson is donating several hundred of her old breast implants to the U.S. EPA and British Petroleum, in the hopes of suffocating the leaking oil site deep...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin Earns New Pageant Title: Miss Disingenuous

Sarah Palin Earns New Pageant Title: Miss Disingenuous

It is amazing how a few million dollars can change a person's perception of the world, especially when it comes to politics. Less than 2 years ago, Sarah Palin was the Governor of Alaska and the wife of an oil man--an oil man who worked for a company by the name of British Petroleum (BP). Yep, the very same oil company that is in the headlines today for one of the largest oil spills in history off...

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Funny story: BP Announces New Clean Up Plan - Free Oil!

BP Announces New Clean Up Plan - Free Oil!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) Gulf of Mexico - BP announced a new plan to clean up the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill. Today, they will release television commercials and newspaper ads advertising free oil to anyone who can come get it. A BP spokesperson said th...

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Funny story: A Better Gauge of Just How Big that Oil Slick is

A Better Gauge of Just How Big that Oil Slick is

If you've been watching news coverage of the oil spill off the southern coast of the United States, you no doubt have heard all kinds of comparisons as to the size of the slick. Seems it started out about the size of the state of Rhode Island, and then graduated to the size of Delaware. One newscaster claims it is the size of Nevada, and more recently, apparently not wanting to keep the sizing to...

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Funny story: Bush Declares "Mission Accomplished" on BP Oil Spill

Bush Declares "Mission Accomplished" on BP Oil Spill

Flagstaff, Arizona - Attention turned Wednesday to the giant "Mission Accomplished" sign that once again stood behind President G.W. Bush while in Arizona where he was celebrating Cinco de Mayo. This is the same banner that made its first appear...

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