SAN FRANCISCO – Members of the newly-formed Pink Lives Matter movement have announced plans for a big entertainment whoop-dee-do, as they say down in Nawlins (New Orleans). Organizers, Bruce Figwater and Myron Tutu, have informed the media that th…
It's been claimed by one music enthusiast that the hair of Canadian crooner, Justin Bieber, is not subject to gravity, and that the tattoos he has all the way up his arms, are absolutely shit. Bieber has an exceedingly strange hairstyle, which one…
Toby Smith and his ukulele band of several hipsters have been banned from their local park in Mithering on the Trent. The hirsute six-piece often play in the Duck and Mallard on the High Street at their local open mic night, but since the lockdown…
As tempers continued to fray at the weekend, there was a major development away from the rioting, when the Black Lives Matter organization officially declared the former Parliament and Funkadelic frontman, George Clinton, the President of the Black U…
George Clinton, the leader of P-Funk bands, Parliament and Funkadelic, who has been named as the President of the Black United States of America by the Black Lives Matter organization, is set to re-release his popular 1993 single, 'Paint The White Ho…
BISON SPIT, Montana – Former singer, Sammy Hagar, who is 72-going-on-92, has just made what is being considered by many to be the most idiotic, stupid remark regarding the Coronavirus pandemic yet. The Memphis Post-Haste newspaper wrote that even...
AUSTIN – Justin Bieber says that he is getting fed up with every time he smiles at a girl, she runs home, gets on the computer, and says that she was sexually assaulted by him. Bieber said that most of these types of women are 6s or lower. He poin…
Man about town, Gary Williamson, a 49-year-old musician, released an album of original Techno music with his accordion playing to the fore, and realised, that, although he launched it ten years ago, it still isn't selling. 'Like most people during…
LOS ANGELES – Justin Bieber says that he does not want to have to address the fake alleged allegations of assault, but he has to, because it is his voting right and his right to bear arms. Needless to say, the Beeb still partakes of the brewskis.
After the most bizarre Merseyside Derby in living memory at the weekend, players of both Liverpool and Everton say they were "nervous to start with", but became increasingly so when they couldn't concentrate because of the relaxing tunes being played...
Ex-Beatles drummer, Richard Starkey, affectionately known as Ringo Starr, was today taken into custody by the LAPD and charged with being a public nuisance. Starr has recently been busy on all the social.media platforms, including YouTube and Ins…
One of the friends you invited on the weekend trip to the shore has tinnitus, so don’t turn the volume up too high. Jake Miller, 24, was diagnosed with tinnitus two years ago. Tinnitus is an underlying condition of many ear issues, that results i...
NASHVILLE – The popular country music band, Lady Antebellum, has decided that it was high time that they got with the politically correct program, and they are officially now known as Lady A. The original name of the band came from the style of th...
A man has recounted how, whilst listening to music from his computer library, yesterday afternoon, he encountered the 1975-written Electric Eels track 'Agitated', and became extremely agitated. The incident happened as veteran music enthusiast, Mo...
DUBLIN – Doolin Tipperary, the lead singer with the Irish heavy metal band formerly known as C-19, says the band has officially changed its name, and now goes by the name WD-40. “Tip”, as his bandmates and fans call him, said that when the band wa...
LAUREL CANYON, Cailfornia – During the late 1960s and early 1970s, Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young was one of the most popular bands in the nation. The four originally met at a birthday pinata party for Linda Ronstadt, who, shortly afterward, sai…
BILLINGSGATE POST: If you listen carefully to the lyrics of Hotel California, by The Eagles, you might easily make the mistake of over-analyzing the song; attributing inappropriate metaphors to decipher the true meanings of the lyrics. Have you e…
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