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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: House of Windsor pikeys get the nod with Olympics caravan site

House of Windsor pikeys get the nod with Olympics caravan site

Windsor, Berks - They're the House of Windsor's equivalent of Dale Farm trailer trash and have camped out in royal palaces since World War II. A London 2012 announcement confirmed this morning that 300 pitches have been earmarked for them between...

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Funny story: London riots to be used as opening ceremony for olympics

London riots to be used as opening ceremony for olympics

The hugely popular London riots will be brought back in time for the Olympic games a senior organiser said today. It is hoped the new Riots will be the centre piece of the opening ceremony. It really is a testament to the British peoples spirit th...

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Funny story: 2012 Olympics: Tube Workers Reject Pay Offer - Binmen Demand Deal

2012 Olympics: Tube Workers Reject Pay Offer - Binmen Demand Deal

Following the news that London's Tube workers have rejected the offer of a £500 bonus for turning up for work during the Olympics, another union is demanding extra pay. Explaining that his members' position wasn't at all bloody-minded or grasping,...

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Funny story: London 2012: Olympic Opening Ceremony name revealed by director Danny Boyle

London 2012: Olympic Opening Ceremony name revealed by director Danny Boyle

London 2012's opening ceremony is to be themed Wonder of Golden, organisers have revealed six months ahead of the Games. The ceremony's artistic director, Danny Boyle, revealed the name at a press briefing alongside crisp salesman Gary Lineker.

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Funny story: First the swastika Olympic logo, now Danny Boyle's daft 'land that's been poisoned by industrial legacy' opening ceremony theme

First the swastika Olympic logo, now Danny Boyle's daft 'land that's been poisoned by industrial legacy' opening ceremony theme

London - Ecuador's corrupt justice department is said to be in raptures at the Olympic opening ceremony theme that mirrors its fraudulent and much criticised vexatious lawsuit against US super major Chevron. Described by ceremony artistic (sic) di...

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Funny story: Anti-Terrorism Measures At Olympics - No Room For Privacy!

Anti-Terrorism Measures At Olympics - No Room For Privacy!

The Prime Minister has revealed that anti-terrorism measures at this summer's London Olympic Games will include having CCTV cameras in positions enabling them to look inside the various toilet cubicle facilities within the Olympic Village in East Lon...

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Funny story: The Great British Olympics

The Great British Olympics

David Cameron has been outlining what will make the London 2012 Olympics the best that has ever been. "The London Olympics are a true British enterprise," said Cameron. "We bid for them several years ago with the intention of stimulating the econo...

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Funny story: Almost 100,000 new London Olympics tickets become available

Almost 100,000 new London Olympics tickets become available

The London Olympic organisers have today revealed that thousands of tickets to the London 2012 Olympics have now suddenly become available. In a hastily-convened press reception at the Old Vic in the East End of London, Lord Notcoe, a spokesperso...

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Funny story: Northwest NewSmash Presents Top Headline Predictions for 2012

Northwest NewSmash Presents Top Headline Predictions for 2012

As a special service to our premium subscribers, Northwest NewSmash is pleased to release the top predicted headlines for 2012: 1. Sasha and Malia - The President's Kenyan Child Brides? - Orly Taitz Demands Birth Certificates 2. Republican Candidates Pledge: Human Life Begins At Conception; Human Rights End At Birth 3. 'War On Poverty' Declared Over - Poverty Wins 4. Ron Paul Wins - P...

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Funny story: David Beckham and Lady Gaga To Open Chain Of Pie and Mash Shops

David Beckham and Lady Gaga To Open Chain Of Pie and Mash Shops

In terms of musical collaborations you might have expected Lady Gaga to duet with the 'Posh of Spice' Victoria Beckham, but records at companies House suggest that it's hubby David who will be partnering with the Gaga in 2012 - but not in the studio...

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Funny story: "Leap Centimetre" To Be Added To The Length Of The Metre In 2012

"Leap Centimetre" To Be Added To The Length Of The Metre In 2012

The International Bureau of Weights and Measures in Paris today announced that a "leap centimetre" would be added to the length of the metre at midnight on 28th February 2012, to coincide with the addition of an extra day to the year. 'People are...

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Funny story: Thames 'Nessie' lurks outside 2012 Stadium

Thames 'Nessie' lurks outside 2012 Stadium

London - "Maybe it's escaped from the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain," is how one wildlife expert assessed the situation this morning. Wildlife shots of the mystery beastie - definitely not doctored by the BBC or David Attenborough - show a Loc...

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Funny story: Olympic Committee Cancels Summer Games After Psychic Group Threatens to Post Results Online

Olympic Committee Cancels Summer Games After Psychic Group Threatens to Post Results Online

London, England - The 2012 Summer Olympic Games, scheduled to take place in London from 27 July to 12 August 2012 were officially canceled today after the International Olympic Committee was unable to comes to terms with Bert Poppins, head of the Eng...

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Funny story: Diplomatic service CEO slams royals' London 2012 gravy train bung

Diplomatic service CEO slams royals' London 2012 gravy train bung

London - The head of the UK Diplomatic Corpse has denounced Wills, Kaye and Harry for gorging their snouts in the Olympics gravy train trough. Sir Archibald Hoggsworth-Attashay said today the newly appointed London 2012 ambassadors 'were only in i...

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Funny story: Mayan Calendar's Comalcalco Brick shows 1/12/2011 'is new Apocalypse date'

Mayan Calendar's Comalcalco Brick shows 1/12/2011 'is new Apocalypse date'

Mexico - Stargazers at Mexico's National Institute for Anthropology, History and Mayan Calendar Rants have published new evidence from temple ruin brick fragments at Tortuguero, Tabasco State. Glyphs representing a Venus conjunction 'with a myster...

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Funny story: Seats And Turnstiles Not Big Enough At Olympic Stadium For Today's Fatties!

Seats And Turnstiles Not Big Enough At Olympic Stadium For Today's Fatties!

Several thousand of the seats already fitted in the various stadiums at East London's Olympic Village will have to be taken out and replaced with reinforced ones. The decision to change the seats has been taken because of concerns raised by Health an...

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Funny story: Britons Not Pleased with New Note

Britons Not Pleased with New Note

Most Britons were agitated today as they learned that the Bank of England issued a new fifty-pound note. In the height of the worst recession in history the government decided that this would be a great idea to unify Britons and prepare for the 201...

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