A crazed banana-wielding woman found her way to Jade Goody's hospital bedside yesterday before being dramatically removed by police. The Big Brother star was terrified as the unknown woman entered her room at the Royal Marsden Hospital in the afte...
London - (Celebrity Big Racist Mess): Jade Goody's Mr 25% publicist Max Cliffhanger said today he felt there is an 'overwhelming sense of national need' for his client to be commemorated in Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth. "Some campaigners even...
I was revealed today that the unfortunate Jade Goody has only 9½ weeks left. The reality show winner, who, despite what everyone has said about her, has been sadly stricken with cancer, was said to be further devastated by the news that she offici...
London - (Celeb Big Racist! Mess): Jaded PR guru to gullible Z-Lister celebs Max Headroom today told his top cash-cow client to stop milking the headlines. Max, 69, was overheard in the Royal Mars Den effing and blinding about how he'd had to 'sel...
A man in the Algerian city of Oran has said he wants to buy the English girl Jade Goody and he has offered to pay two camels in compensation to her new husband Jack Twede. Mr Tweed is a felon and has agreed the price. Kazim Haddad who is a rich...
Members of the Jade Goody fanclub have voiced their concerns over, what have been described as 'insensitive comments' made towards their idol on a satirical news website, and may take legal action, it's been reported. TheSpoof.com, the site in que...
London - (Spiritualist Ass Mess): Princess Diana heads the Welcome Jade! housewarming committee, London publicist Max Clifford told a press conference today. Clifford, 69, said he has it on 'very good authority' from London College of Sidekick Stu...
London - (Bell, Book 'N' Candle Mess): Tragic reality queen Jade Goody is all set to receive the last frites (sic) after the Vatican Burger Emporium, er, Orifice of the Holy Sea!...agreed a cut of Halo! magazine's royalties income. The Max Cliffor...
Doctors today confirmed that cancer is suffering from the parasitical disease known as Jade Goody. Leading expert Dr Andi Medix said "There is no known cure. We try to starve the disease of attention, but it is just too strong." The symptoms begin...
Just when you thought life could not get any worse we bring you another Jade Goody story (surely just when you thought her life couldn't get any worse-ed). Following numerous hallucinations Jade has been moved into a hospice. And that means an immine...
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Tragic Celebrity Big Racist contestant Jade Goody apparently freaked out her oncologist last week after seeing a ghostly vision of Shilpa Shetty 'stalking her outside the Pearly Gates'. The 27 year-old reality t...
Jade Goody, the former Big Brother contestant who was married to criminal Jack Tweed this week, is in the news again, after it was announced the News of the World have bought exclusive rights to publish her raunchy portfolio of sexy topless photograp...
Yes, it's true. The news we all feared has arrived. Poor Jade Goody is set for a divorce. Close friends (?) said that Jade came home from a hospital appointment to find her husband in bed with Shilpa Shetty. "It was too much for Jade to take." Cl...
Jade Goody, the former Big Brother contestant who has recently captured the hearts of the nation with her cancer-suffering, will be given a state funeral after her death. The body of bald-headed Jade, who was married to a criminal this week, will...
I would like to apologise to Jade goody. In the past she has been made to look a thick, useless, talentless, fat slapper with a foul mouth and racist tendencies. I now know that I was wrong. Jade is in fact Jesus, Mary, the Prophet Mohammad, Buddha, Mother Theresa and all the saints rolled into one. I was blind to her talents. But now that she is going to die we see her to be wonderful. I would...
Jade Goody, the thing that made its name by appearing on the Channel 4 shows Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother, has told reporters that she is absolutely furious with God. Goody, who has terminal cancer, and is expected to live only a few more...
Jade Goody, the nation's favourite cancer sufferer, is today being linked with a special TV appearance which will see her take part in an annual charity appeal by taking on the role of bald 1970s cop, Theo Kojak. Kojak, who was played by Telly Sav...
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