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Funny story: Postal Service rescue plan would turn mail carriers into drug runners

Postal Service rescue plan would turn mail carriers into drug runners

Washington, DC - A Congressional panel that's searching for ways to save the crumbling US Postal Service has recommended that the agency increase its profits by becoming the nation's narcotics distribution network. With the Internet and e-mail dev...

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Funny story: Shaun the Sheep arrested in police sting

Shaun the Sheep arrested in police sting

Aardman Animations was today holding crisis talks with BBC executives after it was revealed the star of their award-winning series Shaun the Sheep had been charged with drug offences. Shaun, 28, claims he was the victim of entrapment when police r...

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Funny story: Saudi Women Get The Right To Smoke

Saudi Women Get The Right To Smoke

Riyadh - With a bumper combustibles harvest just in the King of Saudi Arabia has decided to turn back the clock and permit the nation's women to light up again. Announcing the change in law King Abdullah said the move would make the nation's five...

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Funny story: PMQ titters at Miliband's 'the Chancellor has lashed himself to the mast ...not for the first time perhaps!'

PMQ titters at Miliband's 'the Chancellor has lashed himself to the mast ...not for the first time perhaps!'

London - A thinly veiled S&M joke at PMQs today saw UK Chancellor George Osborne squirming in his Commons front bench seat. Opposition Leader Ed Miliband's swipe at Government economic policy saw a nudge-nudge/wink-wink remark allude to tabloi...

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Funny story: Propofol conspiracy theories debunked as 'harmless tranquiliser' found in Amy bloodstream

Propofol conspiracy theories debunked as 'harmless tranquiliser' found in Amy bloodstream

London - The 1980s pharma best seller was once prescribed to rehab patients who claimed their addictions sprang from congenital marijuana deficiency. This weekend a toxicology report has confirmed traces of the popular tranquilliser Librium were p...

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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Brought Back to Life By Crack Pipe - Police Warn Over Superhuman Crack Zombie Epidemic in London inc. Karl Marx & Queen Victoria

Amy Winehouse Brought Back to Life By Crack Pipe - Police Warn Over Superhuman Crack Zombie Epidemic in London inc. Karl Marx & Queen Victoria

Spoof news sites are being condemned and politicians are calling for an investigation after a recent fake story inspired a bunch of bored crack addicts to successfully bring Amy Winehouse back to life, which has baffled scientists and experts. Police...

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Funny story: A Safe Notting Hill Carnival Run By and Featuring Police To go Ahead - But Closed to the Public

A Safe Notting Hill Carnival Run By and Featuring Police To go Ahead - But Closed to the Public

Leaving their decision to the 11th Hour the police have announced a controversial compromise over one of the world's most famous street parties, the Notting Hill Carnival. This year the event will be closed off to the public but in order to allow the...

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Funny story: Toxicology results in Amy Winehouse postmortem

Toxicology results in Amy Winehouse postmortem

London - The cause of death 'remains a mystery' a pre-inquest hearing into the singer's death was told today as lab tests confirmed the absence of any illicit substances in the tragic singer's system. But the reason why Golders Green Crematorium '...

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Funny story: Media Attack BBC's Refusal to Provide Cocaine for 5 Live Staff Party - Radio 1 Rally to Help

Media Attack BBC's Refusal to Provide Cocaine for 5 Live Staff Party - Radio 1 Rally to Help

Party pooper, state funded TV company the BBC, has refused to provide any drugs for a big send off party they are organising for their live news and sports station, Radio 5 Live. Thousands of staff at the radio station are being deported, along with...

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Funny story: Bumper homegrown harvest brings Londoners austerity cheer

Bumper homegrown harvest brings Londoners austerity cheer

London - Annual domestic grass production has soared in the Capital this year thanks largely to the royal weeding, global warming and Pippa Middleton's arse (WTF?? - Ed). "It was all the eclipses that done it," an astrologically-aligned botanist f...

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Funny story: Bwahaha! Another royal corgi drops dead on holiday

Bwahaha! Another royal corgi drops dead on holiday

Scotland - The Queen is inconsolable - borderline suicidal - at the death of her beloved pooch Dorky this weekend. On Sunday night she locked herself in her bedroom and drank three bottles of Creme de Menthe to cheer herself up after 'the incident...

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Funny story: They're All Aboard! Biden, Brown, Calderon Announce Latest Amtrak Drug Induced Fantasy!

They're All Aboard! Biden, Brown, Calderon Announce Latest Amtrak Drug Induced Fantasy!

After losing billions of dollars since it's inception, the Government Railroad (GR), otherwise known in Washington Speak as Amtrak, has finally come up with a way to turn a profit thanks to the leadership of California Governor Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown! In a joint press conference in Sacramento, Governor Brown, Biden, and Mexico's president Felipe Calderon announced they would be linking Mexico...

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Funny story: Bong fires of the vanities erupt over Britain

Bong fires of the vanities erupt over Britain

London - A spate of nationwide arson attacks was being blamed today on dodgy 'bongs' similar to one that caused the 1666 Great Fire of London. Ministry of Skunk sources issued an immediate recall of the entire 'Zomby' range of imported hookahs fol...

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Funny story: Riots not what they used to be says Brixton veteran

Riots not what they used to be says Brixton veteran

London - An Electric Avenue veteran of SW2's April 1981 riots has spoken of his concerns as London-wide mayhem reached Brixton Market last night. Commenting on the violent flare-up semi-retired 'greengrocer' Stanley Aikliss said market turmoil was...

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Funny story: Prospector Stumbles on Massive Mexico-Arizona Smuggling Tunnel Built from TARP Funds!

Prospector Stumbles on Massive Mexico-Arizona Smuggling Tunnel Built from TARP Funds!

A dusty loner, living rough off the land while continuing to look for lost gold mines in Arizona, stumbled onto what is said to be the 'mother lode' of pork barrel spending by amnesty loving liberal democrats. Well camouflaged by air due to the a...

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Funny story: Crystal Meth-odist Church of God busted in North Carolina!

Crystal Meth-odist Church of God busted in North Carolina!

Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, NC, was released today from his thirty-day house arrest for selling crystal meth to a Cub Scout troop. There were only two reporters at the rectory as he emerged -- one from the local Franklin Times and the oth...

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Funny story: Honduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach

Honduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach

TEGUCIGALPA, Honduras - The Honduran Navy has reportedly captured a 90-foot submarine, off the coast of neighboring El Salvador, that allegedly was destined for Malibu Beach, California. The submarine which had personalized Arizona license plates...

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