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Funny satire stories about Diet

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Funny story: Oprah to Pen Anti-Diet Book

Oprah to Pen Anti-Diet Book

Declaring, "I'm just a born fatso," Oprah Winfrey shoved dieting aside and vowed to write a book called "The Quick Weight-Gain Diet." The TV talk show queen said she is "mad as hell" about "letting myself go" and ballooning up to 300 pounds. Bu...

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Funny story: Calorific Value of Sex

Calorific Value of Sex

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research, Prof. Willie Shagger, of Inverness University College of Medicine has revealed the results to In Seine News. They are: REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent...................

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Funny story: Lose 175 Pounds in 2 Days!

Lose 175 Pounds in 2 Days!

The miracle diet made famous by Hollywood celebrities is now being released to the public and it is guaranteed to remove 175 to over 200 pounds of useless fat in as little as 5 days. Using the proven and tested techniques outlined in the offer below...

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Funny story: Victoria Beckham has Brush with Carbohydrates

Victoria Beckham has Brush with Carbohydrates

LOS ANGELES - Rail thin pop celebrity Victoria Beckham was rushed to Cedars-Sinai hospital over the weekend after a close brush with some carbohydrates. David Beckham said that while the couple has been through a lot together this gave them a "rig...

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Funny story: New Diet Miracle Flushes 20 Pounds Of Fat A Day!

New Diet Miracle Flushes 20 Pounds Of Fat A Day!

Chicago Il-- A new diet drug was approved today and it is already working miracles. The drug is from Fish Pharmaceuticals and is being marketed under the name of 'Disanntry'. The new pill was approved by the Food and Drugged Administration and has th...

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Funny story: Cookie Monster told to Diet

Cookie Monster told to Diet

The Cookie Monster, a beloved character on Children's entertainment smorgasbord Sesaeme Street has been told to diet. Muppet Dr Bunsen told us:'It is for his own good. A Monster who eats nothing but Cookie is not going to be in the best of health...

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Funny story: Prescott to be New Face of Slimming Products

Prescott to be New Face of Slimming Products

Slim-shake, Britain's number one manufacturer of tasty, nutritionally balanced meals and snacks to help you slim without feeling deprived of your favourite things, has announced that John Prescott, the putty-faced ex-deputy prime minster who once pun...

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Funny story: Michael Phelps's 12,000-calorie per day diet requirement causing food shortages at the Olympic Village; Int'l harmony undermined, says IOC

Michael Phelps's 12,000-calorie per day diet requirement causing food shortages at the Olympic Village; Int'l harmony undermined, says IOC

Beijing, China - Publicly, Chinese Olympic officials deny that they are having trouble keeping up with Michael Phelp's 12,000 calorie per day dietary requirements, resulting in food supply shortages for the other Olympic athletes residing at the at t...

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Funny story: Phelps' 12,000 Calorie Diet Just Made Me a Fat Fuck!

Phelps' 12,000 Calorie Diet Just Made Me a Fat Fuck!

Sports writers have been celebrating the 12,000 calorie diet that has made Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps perhaps the greatest aquatic athlete in history. When spoofster, Pointillius Pointer read about the swimmer's eating regimen leading up to the O...

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Funny story: Diet Ice Cubes Very Popular

Diet Ice Cubes Very Popular

Springfield PA-- The latest diet craze, diet ice cubes, is a big seller at the Poke N Toke Grocery Store in Springfield. The tiny ice cubes cost $10.00 for a dozen and the store sells thousands a day. The ice cubes have zero calories and no cholester...

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Funny story: Oprah Has Gastric Band Fitted

Oprah Has Gastric Band Fitted

Diet queen Oprah Winfrey has admitted that she had taken a leaf out of Fern Britton's book and had a gastric band fitted - just a week after completing a 21-day vegan detox.

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Funny story: The Chemtrails Diet flies off bookstore shelves

The Chemtrails Diet flies off bookstore shelves

Abiline, TX -- A new diet book has gained overnight success as public concern over atmospheric modification by the US and other nations mounts. "The Chemtrails Diet-keeping healthy in the modified atmosphere" details the dangerous compounds...

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Funny story: Phil Gramm to help Whining Americans; plans to lower nation's recommended daily dietary calorie count intake from 2,000 to 1,500

Phil Gramm to help Whining Americans; plans to lower nation's recommended daily dietary calorie count intake from 2,000 to 1,500

Washington DC - While short-sizing food products is helping Wall Street shore up corporate profits by hiding inflation from unsuspecting Americans, some consumers on Main Street are nevertheless beginning to notice that they are not getting the same...

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Funny story: Some girls are bigger than others

Some girls are bigger than others

Results of a Mori Poll claim that most British men prefer a 'Fat Fern' to a 'Fit Fern'.

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Funny story: Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson and Rosie O'Donnell reveal their weight-loss secrets!

Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson and Rosie O'Donnell reveal their weight-loss secrets!

How do big stars such as Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson and Rosie O'Donnell manage to stay so trim and fit? Finally, we have gained the inside scoop!...

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Funny story: Low fat food surplus conspiracy uncovered

Low fat food surplus conspiracy uncovered

Shoppers were dismayed to find that their favorite brands of yogurt, cheese and party dips were unavailable for days, then weeks at a time.

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Funny story: Move To Florida And Be Obnoxious Diet

Move To Florida And Be Obnoxious Diet

Health experts in New York and Florida have discovered what makes people who move to Florida just as obnoxious as they were up in New York. One would think they would move down here and retire and have nothing to do but enjoy retirement and the nice...

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