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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story: Santa Laying Off 30% of US Elves on Shelves

Santa Laying Off 30% of US Elves on Shelves

North Pole, Inc. today announced drastic workforce reductions and re-alignment of strategic assets, following years of stagnant revenues. Analysts had expected spending cuts for several months but not this close to Christmas. The US Elf on a Shelf D...

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Funny story: President Obama Explains Why He Sent Kim Jong Un A Christmas Card

President Obama Explains Why He Sent Kim Jong Un A Christmas Card

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House is reporting that President Obama has sent the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un a Christmas card. According to President Obama's personal assistant, Traci Dixon, who actually saw the card, the Christmas card sh...

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Funny story: The Reason Why Snowflake, Arizona May End Up Cancelling Christmas

The Reason Why Snowflake, Arizona May End Up Cancelling Christmas

SNOWFLAKE, Arizona - The town of Snowflake is situated in the east central part of the state. Snowflake is noted for being the birthplace of Egbert P. Plumbago, the man who is credited with having invented butter. The town is also home to The P...

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Funny story: President Obama Invites Denmark's Sexy Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt To Spend The Christmas Holidays At The White House

President Obama Invites Denmark's Sexy Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt To Spend The Christmas Holidays At The White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has stated that President Obama was so impressed with the blonde Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt that he has invited her and her husband to the White House for the Christmas holid...

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Funny story: Introducing "KB Packed Kids" Just In Time For Colorado Christmas

Introducing "KB Packed Kids" Just In Time For Colorado Christmas

The manufacturers of the famous "Cabbage Patch Kids" dolls are offering up a new version just in time for Christmas. The "KB Packed Kids" will be offered up for a fairly steep price in two test markets, Colorado and Washington. What's new with th...

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Funny story: Guillotine candidate George Osborne says "Let them eat Cake"

Guillotine candidate George Osborne says "Let them eat Cake"

Freezing pensioners who can't afford to shop anywhere else but Lidul have been subject to cake bombardment from George Osbornes Palace windows in Versailles, Knightsbridge. Cries of "Let them eat cake" have been heard from within. Media articles p...

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Funny story: Walmart acquires North Pole, outsources Santa to FedEx!

Walmart acquires North Pole, outsources Santa to FedEx!

In a dramatic press conference held this morning at the corporate headquarters of Walmart, Inc. in Bentonville, Arkansas, a spokesman for the corporation announced the acquisition of the North Pole and the transfer of all of its operations to Benton...

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Funny story: ......Carry on Christmas!

......Carry on Christmas!

With the release of ancient photos depicting her Royal Majesty, Queen Liz, prancing around in Pantomime gear circa 1941, younger members of the Royal menagerie have been pressing Liz for a repeat performance. Seemingly, having taken one look at th...

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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Tells President Obama That He Would Like To Spend Christmas At The White House

Kim Jong Un Tells President Obama That He Would Like To Spend Christmas At The White House

PYONGYANG, North Korea - The Rice Paddy News Agency is reporting that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has sent a message to President Obama. The leader of North Korea has expressed a desire to visit America and spend the Christmas holidays at the...

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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Announces What He's Getting Everyone On His Christmas List

Rush Limbaugh Announces What He's Getting Everyone On His Christmas List

NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh may look like Jolly Old Saint Nick but don't let the big old beer gut fool ya, deep down inside he is more like Ebenezer Scrooge. At least that is what his wife recently told Ellen DeGeneres on her talk show when she...

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Funny story: English Parliament to Criminalize the Celebration of Christmas by Welfare Claimants

English Parliament to Criminalize the Celebration of Christmas by Welfare Claimants

There will be no dreaming of a white trash Christmas on the council estate or the trailer park for benefit claimants from 2016 if the Government succeed in passing a law to prohibit the celebration of Christmas by those in receipt of welfare revealed...

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Funny story: Beat Austerity Measures With These DIY Xmas Gifts

Beat Austerity Measures With These DIY Xmas Gifts

Gift Ipod cover for child's IPod Fold a sheet of ruled writing paper around an IPod. Crease the folds and carefully cut out a window for the screen. Now here's the clever bit: Stick Scotch Tape or Sellotape first across one side of the window and then turn the paper over and do the same. Now fold the paper to the shape of the IPod and Sellotape together allowing an open section to slip...

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Funny story: NYC's Sidewalk Santa Parade Canceled after 100 Years

NYC's Sidewalk Santa Parade Canceled after 100 Years

New York, NY - For a century, New York's Sidewalk Santas have marched on Fifth Avenue on the morning after Thanksgiving collecting donations from Black Friday shoppers. Now they're calling it quits. "There's just not as much money in it anymor...

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Funny story: Beyonce, Blake Shelton, and Honey Boo Boo To Record A Christmas Album

Beyonce, Blake Shelton, and Honey Boo Boo To Record A Christmas Album

LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest is reporting that he has just learned that Beyonce, Blake Shelton, and Honey Boo Boo will be recording a Christmas album. Seacrest was told by an insider on Team Beyonce that the "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" singe...

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Funny story: Letters To Santa Claus: Part 1

Letters To Santa Claus: Part 1

Dear Santa I know that this year has been a troubling year and I have been less than well behaved. With that being said, I am trying to do better. This year, I am not asking for "stuff". I was wondering if you could "throw me a bone" just before Thanksgiving, a sort of early Christmas present if you will. Is there any chance that you can put in a good word and get me a position as on...

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Funny story: 10 Toy Concepts Held Back by Retailers for Upcoming Christmas Season

10 Toy Concepts Held Back by Retailers for Upcoming Christmas Season

1. Wii Fit "Twerk Showdown" game 2. Rob Ford's Rock 'Em Stalk 'Em Fembots 3. LEGO leftovers - discount lego sets! 4. Playstation Classic - Rollin' like it's '99 5. Rollin' Doobs Mountain Navigator Big Wheel 6. "Twerkin' for a Livin'" Barbie 7. "Out of the closet and at the Altar" Ken and Ben Dolls 8. "Out of the closet and at the Altar" Barbie and Betty Dolls 9. Di...

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Funny story: Valentine's Day Sales Promotions to Start on Christmas Day

Valentine's Day Sales Promotions to Start on Christmas Day

BENTONVILLE, AK-Sources close to the marketing department of Walmart Stores, Inc., the world's largest retailer, have confirmed that all Walmart stores will open at 1 p.m. local time on Christmas Day in order to kick off the frenzy of sales of Valent...

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