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Funny satire stories about Banks

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Funny story: UK Bank wants to be 'helpful'

UK Bank wants to be 'helpful'

Banks have always been different from other enterprises. For example, suppose you frequent the local butcher. You would expect him to be helpful and fair everytime you visit or you would probably go somewhere else. However, banks need only be nice on...

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Funny story: Draft Banking Reform given Green Light

Draft Banking Reform given Green Light

Vince Cable, the coalition government's business secretary, formally outlines his banking reform proposals today. It comes only a day before Prime Minister's questions, when he releases the draft in full and puts the bill before the house. An ano...

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Funny story: Banks and Chavs don't mix

Banks and Chavs don't mix

Nationwide's advertising strategy appears to backfired in the classic banking pitfall of 'trying to be funny'. Since the dawn of TV advertising, banks awash with cash, have always drempt of being popular, funny or interesting but they have never b...

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Funny story: British Offshore Banking Facility Springs Leak, Money Everywhere

British Offshore Banking Facility Springs Leak, Money Everywhere

Hong Kong - It seems British conglomerates are having their fair share of problems these days with uber expensive leaks. There appears to be no end in sight to the BP oil spill off the southern coast of the United States which has now reached catastr...

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Funny story: "You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

A leading high street lender has admitted you are more likely to be run over than get a mortgage approved with their bank, and only slightly less likely to die in the bath. Banks appear to be 'advertising their wares' more than ever but an insider...

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Funny story: Clients Worried About Goldman's Dueling Skills; Those With Highest Losses Demanding 'Time On the Mat' with Sachs's CEO

Clients Worried About Goldman's Dueling Skills; Those With Highest Losses Demanding 'Time On the Mat' with Sachs's CEO

"Questions have been raised that go to the heart of this institution's most fundamental value: how we service our clients." - Lloyd C. Blanketyblank, Goldman Sachs's C.E.O., at the firm's annual meeting and finger-pointing, held this month at an undi...

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Funny story: Foreign Banks suffer accidental hate campaign

Foreign Banks suffer accidental hate campaign

Branches of several foreign banks have been suffering a concerted attack of vandalism, excrement smeared on windows and pushed into the night deposit boxes after severe dyslexic anarchist, Mary Hinge, joined the Anti-British National Party Organisati...

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Funny story: Axa Chairman Anthony Hamilton Interview

Axa Chairman Anthony Hamilton Interview

Axa Chairman Anthony (Our Tone) Hamilton And the Secrets of CEO (Our Hen) de Castries Says "We're really wide boys" Penge's Hamilton Palace project starts soon A Feature Interview with Dan de Lyon I meet Anthony Hamilton, Axa's chairman, at my club in Pall Mall. I inveigled Our Tone into accepting my invitation to lunch, rather than the other way...

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Funny story: Utterly Useless Tw*t Makes £5.6 Million Bonus

Utterly Useless Tw*t Makes £5.6 Million Bonus

Questions were asked in the House today demanding to know from the Prime Minister how it could possibly have occurred that an utterly useless twat made £5.6 million in bonuses, on top of his salary in a recession? The Prime Minister fannied about...

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Funny story: RBS CEO In Bonus Replacement Rumour

RBS CEO In Bonus Replacement Rumour

Stephen Hester, CEO of the Royal Bank of Scotland, has recently hit the headlines by announcing that he is giving up his £1.6m bonus for 2009. However, it came to my attention that he didn't mention that he might be replacing it with something no...

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Funny story: Old Man Potter Saves Bedford Falls from Subprime Lender Bailey

Old Man Potter Saves Bedford Falls from Subprime Lender Bailey

Two more financial institutions were closed Friday by federal regulators, bringing the total number of U.S. failed banks this year to 132, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation said. Republic Federal Bank was the first casualty of the morning. Mo...

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Funny story: Australian banker caught "porno-ing" it on TV!

Australian banker caught "porno-ing" it on TV!

Now we all know that bankers cannot be trusted and that they spend investors money as if it was their own, we forgive them for that. We have also forgiven them (nearly) for causing the global financial meltdown, forcing banks to go bankrupt, compa...

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Funny story: A Penny for Your Banker Holiday Proposed

A Penny for Your Banker Holiday Proposed

One penny out of every dollar spent in the United States of America went for salaries and bonuses at Wall Street firms, prompting demands for a new federal holiday. "We awarded ourselves $140 Billion in salary and bonusses in 2009," explained one...

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Funny story: Wile E. Coyote Arrested during Bank Robbery

Wile E. Coyote Arrested during Bank Robbery

Wile E. Coyote was captured in the South Main Street branch of First Citizen's National Trust bank as he attempted to steal money. The coyote entered the bank masked and carrying a shotgun. He held up a sign that read "Put the money in the bag! L...

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Funny story: UK Out of Recession?

UK Out of Recession?

Industry analysts have announced that the UK is out of recession as of today. This follows on from other industry analysts announcing that we were out of recession at the beginning of December, and yet more industry analysts who have announced that w...

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Funny story: Danger Of American Financial Institutions Obvious From Their Names

Danger Of American Financial Institutions Obvious From Their Names

We should have seen it coming. We have only ourselves to blame. It was all there right in front of us to see. A coiled, shaking, hissing rattlesnake couldn't have been more obvious. One had only to look at the names of the companies and people that brought about our nation's second big depression and were in line to get bailouts to see that their intentions to cheat might a...

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Funny story: Chinese Banks At Karmic Epicenter of Friday's Capricorn Solar Eclipse

Chinese Banks At Karmic Epicenter of Friday's Capricorn Solar Eclipse

London - (Off-the-Wall-Street): The 07.11GMT occultation at 25 degrees Capricorn is expected to be the defining moment of the new decade. The dramatic celestial floorshow will be followed swiftly by the 09.02am suspension of global markets as a fl...

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