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Land Shark Gives Man A Reason To Blame All Of His Problems On

Funny story: Land Shark Gives Man A Reason To Blame All Of His Problems On

For the last two weeks a Silver Spring, MD man, Gerald Bittten, has done nothing but complain about a land shark eating him alive. The man initially made contact with the shark at a Chuck – E-Cheese restaurant in which he was celebrating his nine ye...

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Jeff Sessions Keeps Empty Office Boxes Just In Case Trump Fires Him

Funny story: Jeff Sessions Keeps Empty Office Boxes Just In Case Trump Fires Him

The Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, has always been a ready to go kind of guy. On his anniversary he went with his wife to Aruba. On his 40th birthday he went with his wife to Venice and on December 5th of 2011 he went with his wife to divorce cou...

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Nation Relieved That School Shooting Didn’t Involve A Semi-Automatic Rifle

Funny story: Nation Relieved That School Shooting Didn’t Involve A Semi-Automatic Rifle

The American public generated a sigh of relief when a shooter shot and killed 21 students at Jamboree High School, in Oakland, Maryland when it was determined that the shooter did not use a semi-automatic rifle. 32 people were, also, injured in the...

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God Takes Over US Congress

Funny story: God Takes Over US Congress

God the almighty made an appearance at the US Senate and immediately smited the two senators from Florida claiming it was simply because they were from the state of Florida. God told the assembly that “they better get their shit together and work...

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Squirrel Awarded Hand Gun To Protect Himself From Hawk

Funny story: Squirrel Awarded Hand Gun To Protect Himself From Hawk

Rocky Squirrel celebrated a victory in a Portland, Maine court today by being awarded the right to not only obtain a handgun but, also, to get a concealed hand gun permit. After the verdict Rocky hugged his lawyer Jerry Meisterfibber as well as his...

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Man With Origami Crane Attacks The Pope, Knocking Him Out

Funny story: Man With Origami Crane Attacks The Pope, Knocking Him Out

Duluth Minnesota - An angry Duluth man attacked the pope with an origami crane knocking him out cold on Lake Superior where the Pope was holding an ice skating prayer breakfast. The pope was aware of the man's intent and when he saw him approaching...

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Aliens Are Found To Be Employing Slaves

Funny story: Aliens Are Found To Be Employing Slaves

The US Bureau of Flying Saucers has announced that flying saucers do exist and that they have made contact with extraterrestrial life. The announcement was made shortly after President Trump threatened to terminate their existence because they weren...

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Newly Invented Pill Cures Hangovers

Funny story: Newly Invented Pill Cures Hangovers

A group of scientist at Boozeyman Pharmaceuticals have developed a pill which cures hangovers. The pill, named Soberhop, is to be taken after one's last drink and takes no more than 2 minutes to completely sober up the recipient, regardless of how m...

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Parents Will Do Anything They Can To Discourage Son From Becoming A Lawyer

Funny story: Parents Will Do Anything They Can To Discourage Son From Becoming A Lawyer

Fearing their son Darren would someday wear a suit, work long and arduous hours, make an obscene amount of money, as well as enemies, all while toting around a briefcase full of briefs, Mr. and Mrs. Parrot are doing everything in their power to disc...

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New Sunscreen Protects You From Harmful Stingrays

Funny story: New Sunscreen Protects You From Harmful Stingrays

You remember Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter? He was snorkeling in chest deep water when he got stung through the heart by a maniacal and emotionally disturbed stingray and died. Well from now on you don't have to fear dangerously deranged stingr...

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White House Sniper Loses It, Starts Shooting Up The Crowd Protesting

Funny story: White House Sniper Loses It, Starts Shooting Up The Crowd Protesting

Secret Service sniper Joe McShoots became unraveled during an anti-Trump protest outside the White House and started shooting up the protesting crowd. Six people were confirmed dead and another 16 were wounded, 6 critically. "I've had it with the...

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Cubs Forced Out of Wrigley Field Just After Opening Day

Funny story: Cubs Forced Out of Wrigley Field Just After Opening Day

In a stunning announcement it has been learned the Chicago Cubs will have to vacate Wrigley Field immediately and will not be able to return to the field for any future home games. Apparently the Cubs owner, Thomas S. Ricketts was not aware of a cla...

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Aliens Have Taken Over Trump's Brain

Funny story: Aliens Have Taken Over Trump's Brain

US President Donald Trump has made another outrageous claim: His brain has been taken over by aliens. Speaking from the oval office while pounding his fist on his head yelling "stop it!" Trump imparted the following upon the press: "It's just ou...

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EPA Okays Water, Town Protests

Funny story: EPA Okays Water, Town Protests

The Environmental Protection Agency recently tested the quality of drinking water for the town of Sedona, Arizona. The water passed all tests with flying colors. Unfortunately this did not bode well for the town of 10,000 residents who immediately...

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Man Gets Eaten By Giant Venus Fly Trap

Funny story: Man Gets Eaten By Giant Venus Fly Trap

Des Moines, Iowa horticulturist, Larry Leaf, came across the deal of a lifetime. For a meager 10 dollars Larry would obtain the seeds of a very powerful plant that would allow him to alleviate his obnoxious neighbors from his life. He planted the s...

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Trump Changes Secret Service in Order to Save Money

Funny story: Trump Changes Secret Service in Order to Save Money

President Donald Trump has just issued an executive order to replace his entire Secret Service with Disney characters. He signed the order in Disneyland's Cinderella Castle today at 10:00 AM eastern time. Trump made the executive order to cut d...

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Kim Jong Un Builds New Nuclear Reactor Out of Lego Pieces

Funny story: Kim Jong Un Builds New Nuclear Reactor Out of Lego Pieces

The flamboyant, charismatic Best Korea dictator, Kim Jong Un, who is a legend in his own mind as well at the world's greatest speaker, has shockingly announced it was the US along with many third world countries who helped him achieve building a worl...

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Trump Replaces Gorsuch with Octogenarian for Supreme Court Pick

Funny story: Trump Replaces Gorsuch with Octogenarian for Supreme Court Pick

Forget all about Neil Gorsuch, Donald Trump's previous pick to be a Supreme Court Justice, because Trump just fired Gorsuch and replaced him with an 88 year old former lawn mower repair man named Bubby Turf. Turf, who spent his entire career as a la...

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Breaking news…

Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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