Showing:

Showing stories written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Try another search?

Teenage Protesters' Plot to Take Over NRA Revealed

Washington, D. C. - Not all the activity at the teenage march on Washington for "common sense" gun control was aimed at convincing legislators to enact tougher and effective laws that might prevent another Parkland tragedy. At high level, secret meet...

Read full story View 'Teenage Protesters' Plot to Take Over NRA Revealed'

Trump at Border Wall Prototypes: "Let's Wall Out California"

San Diego, CA. Standing before models of the border wall he intends to build, President Donald Trump told a group of surprised reporters from Fox News and Breitbart that the barrier between the U S and Mexico will extend from Texas to California, bu...

Read full story View 'Trump at Border Wall Prototypes: "Let's Wall Out California"'

"Shaq" O'Neal to be new head coach at UCLA

Westwood Village, CA. Following the announcement from UCLA that Shareef O'Neal, son of the former NBA super star Shaquille "Shaq" O'Neal, had committed to play basketball for the Bruins next year, reports circulated that the elder O'Neal would beco...

Read full story View '"Shaq" O'Neal to be new head coach at UCLA'

NAR Head Calls for Arming Kids

At their convention yesterday, the head of a politically powerful gun owners organization told a cheering crowd that "It's time to arm the kids." Henry Toulouse LaPere, president and CEO of the National Assault Riflemen [ NAR ], responded to an incr...

Read full story View 'NAR Head Calls for Arming Kids'

Eden Cut Electric Power Rates 10%... Or Did It?

The Public Utilities Commissioner looked pleased as he prepared to announce the long-anticipated reduction in Eden's electric rates. His audience, mostly utility officials, eagerly awaited word that deregulation had arrived. Scattered among t...

Read full story View 'Eden Cut Electric Power Rates 10%... Or Did It?'

Anthem Protest turns Violet in Fredericksville, MD

Fredericksville, MD. John G. Wittier [sick] reporting for The Spoof. While National Anthem protests have dwindled as the professional football season nears an end, a demonstration in Fredericksville, Md., on Martin Luther King Day, turned ugly as "...

Read full story View 'Anthem Protest turns Violet in Fredericksville, MD'

"Hotter than Hell:" Global Warming threatens Satan's High Temperature Leadership

East Hades, Nether World. Exclusive to Spoof News. Official temperature reports for last year indicate an astonishing trend that, if it continues, would result in Death Valley, CA, having a higher temperature on its hottest days than has ever been re...

Read full story View '"Hotter than Hell:" Global Warming threatens Satan's High Temperature Leadership'

Health Problem Linked to Recreational Marijuana

Sacramento, CA. With the sale of recreational marijuana now legal in California, that state's health department has warned young adult males that even minimal use of the product may result in an embarrassing but not lethal problem involving male sex...

Read full story View 'Health Problem Linked to Recreational Marijuana'

Paul Ryan: "To Save Social Security, Shorten the Life Span"

Washington, D. C. In a remarkable reversal of his position, House Speaker Paul Ryan today announced that the way to save the social security system is to shorten the life span of working Americans so that fewer of them retire to collect retirement be...

Read full story View 'Paul Ryan: "To Save Social Security, Shorten the Life Span"'

Trump Eliminates Seat Belt Requirement as "Burdensome"

MAR-A-LAGO, Dec. 25. From the Christmas White House, President Donald J. Trump today signed an executive order removing all federal regulations requiring automotive seat belts. At the same time, he ordered the Justice Department to begin legal procee...

Read full story View 'Trump Eliminates Seat Belt Requirement as "Burdensome"'

NCAA Protests LaVar Ball's Proposed Basketball League

The NCAA today lodge a formal protest against an effort by LaVar Ball to create a new professional basketball league for high school graduates who have no interest in attending college. The plan, as outlined by Ball to SPOOF, would offer outstanding...

Read full story View 'NCAA Protests LaVar Ball's Proposed Basketball League'

LuAnne Bawl, 6, Rescinds Commitment to Play Basketball for UCLA

Chico Mills, CA. LuAnne, the youngest member of the infamous Bawl basketball family, has rescinded her letter of commitment to enter UCLA in 2028 and play on the Bruins' women's basketball team. Her father, LaBore Bawl, announced the rescission ear...

Read full story View 'LuAnne Bawl, 6, Rescinds Commitment to Play Basketball for UCLA'

"I Wanna Sue." Octogenarian Charges His Elementary School with Sexual Harassment

Lynwood, CA. An eighty-seven-year-old man has filed a sexual harassment suit against the Lynwood, CA., Elementary School District, charging failure on the part of the district to protect him from predatory female classmates eighty years ago. The liti...

Read full story View '"I Wanna Sue." Octogenarian Charges His Elementary School with Sexual Harassment'

"The Urinary Tract:" Did Comedy Songwriter Tom Lehrer write this?

Santa Cruz, CA. Musicologists rummaging through the Tom Lehrer manuscripts at U C Santa Cruz have found what appears to be an original humorous ditty that has never been performed. "The Urinary Tract," which consists only of lyrics and is without...

Read full story View '"The Urinary Tract:" Did Comedy Songwriter Tom Lehrer write this?'

Trump would send California Secessionist to Gitmo

Following the lead of the Spanish president in jailing Catalonia's secessionist instigators, President Donald J. Trump tweeted this morning that he would prosecute Marcus Evans and other "secessionist agitators" if they continue to promote "Calexit,"...

Read full story View 'Trump would send California Secessionist to Gitmo'

"Higher Than Everest," but where's Mt. Hercules now?

Cal Tech, Pasadena, CA. In 1875, British sea captain and explorer John A. Lawson ascended a previously unknown peak on the island of New Guinea. Its enormous height and size prompted Lawson to name his new find Mt. Hercules, whose summit, according t...

Read full story View '"Higher Than Everest," but where's Mt. Hercules now?'

Penn State Banned from Post-Season Bowl Games

With the Nittany Lions headed for a championship bowl game with top-ranked Alabama following Penn State's trouncing of rival Michigan, the decision announced today banning the university's marching band from any post-season bowl performances was a re...

Read full story View 'Penn State Banned from Post-Season Bowl Games'

Bannon Calls for Boycott of Pledge of Allegiance

The boycott of the National Anthem by some NFL players has gained an unexpected ally. Steve Bannon, formerly of the White House staff and once again head of Breitbart News, announced today that he would no longer participate in recital of the Pledge...

Read full story View 'Bannon Calls for Boycott of Pledge of Allegiance'

Breaking news…

Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
Increase speedPlayback speedIncrease speed Help
Skip backwardsPausePlaySkip forward
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
56 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more