Spoof stories written by Ralph E. Shaffer

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Lakers Trade Magic Johnson to Cleveland

Almost lost in the flurry of last-minute trades before the NBA deadline, was a strange arrangement between two struggling teams who once were at the top of their respective divisions. In a surreptitious exchange, the Los Angeles Lakers sent their...

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Democrats as Obnoxious as Republicans at Committee Hearings

Matthew Whitaker, acting attorney general, was the powerless victim of pious Democratic scorn at Friday's House Judiciary committee hearing. He must have felt like an abortion rights or Free Speech advocate being skewered by Republicans at a compara...

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Did Pelosi Applaud Trump's Speech too Frequently?

Progressive congressional Democrats expressed great displeasure at the number of times House Speaker Nancy Pelosi rose to applaud statements by President Donald Trump during his State of the Union address, Tuesday. Not all television cameras were...

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How Often will Pelosi Applaud Trump Tonight?

Sitting behind President Donald Trump at the State of the Union speech a year ago were Senate leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan. Every time the president made a point appealing to Republicans, McConnell and Ryan were on their feet, a...

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Bill Stern's Poignant Puppy Bowl Tale

Of all the puppy tales that have graced the annual Puppy Bowl over the past fifteen years, the most heart-rending is the one sportscaster, Bill Stern, told his rapt radio audience some years ago. Pongo, a young Dalmatian, was a substitute puppy on...

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For Whom the Funding Bill Tolls

Nancy Pelosi's bill to fund government for the rest of the fiscal year tolls a death knell for President Trump's border wall. When it clears the House on a largely party line vote, the bill, all told, will have oodles of money for border security but...

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Russian Hackers Manipulating Dow Jones Averages

Washington, D.C. A court filing today by special counsel Robert Mueller, revealed that Russian hackers have, since 2015, regularly altered the Dow Jones Industrial averages for the benefit of Donald Trump. At a previously undisclosed Moscow meetin...

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Russia Pumped Sub-freezing Air Mass into U.S.

Pasadena, CA. Scientists at Cal Tech's Jet Propulsion Laboratory here revealed today that the unbelievably cold air mass that has throttled the American Midwest for several days was, in fact, a vast Siberian air pocket that was forced over the North...

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U.S. Oligarchs edict to Mueller: Don't Implicate Trump

Seattle, WA. Meeting secretly at an undisclosed mountain retreat, east of here, last week, ten of the twelve richest men in the nation, with combined wealth exceeding a trillion dollars, issued a confidential order to special counsel Robert Mueller:...

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FBI Detains Spoof Writer in Pre-Dawn Raid

Los Angeles, CA. Using a battering ram to force open the front door of his home, a horde of FBI agents detained a veteran writer for The Spoof, identified only as "Hack A," at his palatial Bel Air mansion, reportedly purchased with the pay for his Sp...

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Who Will Shoot Trump?

The unspoken question that has been on the minds of most Americans for two years - who will shoot Trump? - has finally been answered. Fox Films announced today that "Trump," the "bigger than blockbuster" biography of President Donald Trump, will...

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"I Am Amelia Earhart's Son"

Nagasaki, Japan. Special to The Spoof. As he lay on his death bed last week in a cheap, assisted-living facility in a suburb of Nagasaki, Haruto Tanaka broke his silence about a mystery that has consumed much of the western world and Japan for over...

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Trump: Rookie Artist Paints Himself into a Wall

Funny story: Trump: Rookie Artist Paints Himself into a Wall

As the government shutdown enters its second month, President Donald Trump has a new hobby: painting. Observers are not exactly sure what kind of painting he's into, however, or what kind of material he paints with. Whatever he uses, he usually gets...

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Rams-Saints Replay? NFL Commish Rules for Saints

New Orleans. Days after Sunday's NFC championship game between the Los Angeles Rams and the New Orleans Saints, this city remains in tumultuous turmoil following the most obvious no-call pass interference penalty in professional football history. Tha...

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Gov't Shutdown Inspires Gemini Motors to Order "Work without Pay"

Detroit. In a bold move designed to keep five rocket engine plants open instead of being closed, Gemini Motors today informed the 25,000 workers who were facing layoffs that if they stay on the job without pay the plants will remain open. The comp...

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Melania Antoinette, on Plight of Government Workers during Shutdown

The Versailles Tower, Paris, France. 2019. Special to The Spoof. With the national government ordered by King Donald XVI into a shutdown mode that now stretches into its fourth week, nearly a million workers and their families are without pay, and u...

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Did Notre Dame v Southern Methodist Rivalry Create Religious Tension?

It's been three decades since the last game was played in one of the nation's great football rivalries. In 1989, Notre Dame's Fighting Irish beat Southern Methodist's Mustangs for the tenth time in a series that stretches back to the 1930s. SMU, near...

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Trump Confesses: "I Took Orders from Moscow"

The White House. Exclusive to The Spoof. After vigorously denying, in numerous tweets, the New York Times claim that the FBI investigated President Donald Trump as a possible Russian agent who acted on behalf of Russian oligarchs, the president today...

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