Showing stories written by Ralph E. Shaffer

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Trump: Shoot Honduran Kids Who Assault Our Border

As a horde of Honduran children moves north into Mexico and toward freedom and security in the United States, President Donald Trump issued an ultimatum to his country's southern neighbors. If the migrating children aren't stopped by their own govern...

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Trump Outs Himself: "I Love Kim"

The White House. President Donald Trump, to the surprise of everyone, including the capitol's gay community, outed himself by proclaiming "I love Kim," referring to North Korean dictator/chairman/"Rocket Man" Kim Jong-un. The White House press cor...

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Senate Rejects Supreme Court Nominee, Judge Kannanball

Capitol Hill. The Senate today rejected President Donald Trump's nominee for the Kennedy seat on the Supreme Court. By a 41-51 vote, with eight senators abstaining, Circuit Judge "Bermuda Triangle" Kannanball was denied the prize he sought, The cr...

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Anonymous NYTimes Anti-Trump Op-Ed Writer's Name Revealed

Felipe X. Martinez, curator of the ground floor toilets in the president's residential section of the White House, grudgingly admitted to Spoof that he authored the earth-shaking NY Times anti-Trump op-ed that rocked the nation Wednesday afternoon an...

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How A Pardoned Trump Will Stay On As President

The White House. Those usually unreliable but sometimes accurate sources in the West Wing announced today that secret meetings between President Donald Trump and Vice president Mike Pence have cleared the way for Trump to weather the storm of controv...

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CIA Plotting Overthrow of Trump?

Anonymous and usually unreliable sources in the intelligence community, who are on rare occasion somewhat right, have told The Spoof that high ranking officials in the Central Intelligence Agency have a contingency plan to replace President Donald J.

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"Omarosa" - Trump Sings His Latest Tweet

The White House. President Donald J. Trump's latest barbed tweet, smearing his former adviser, Omarosa, in a musical parody of the popular song, "Amapola," was sung by the president to a visiting group of white nationalists, who roared their approval...

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Why Won't Trump Revoke Shrdlu's Security Clearance?

BERKELEY, CA. Left Coast community organizer Etaoin Shrdlu. long time leader of a Berkeley anti-fascist protest movement, expressed outrage today when he saw the list of 10 critics of President Donald Trump who have been threatened with loss of thei...

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Sunflower Seed Sprouts in Man's Ear

MAYO CLINIC. ROCHESTER, MN. Doctor's at the world-renowned Mayo Clinic revealed today that a sunflower plant is growing inside a male patient's ear. As explained at a clinic press conference, the unidentified patient sought treatment for an ear th...

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Trump's on a Which Hunt

A White House leaker has made the following Oval Office conversation between the president and his press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders available to Spoof, exclusively: "Mr. President, you've got a grammatical problem with this next tweet."...

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Pence, Cabinet Cabal May Invoke 25th Amendment, Removing Trump

Shocked by the President's erratic behavior and comments during recent weeks, sources close to Vice President Mike Pence reveal that he has been in serious discussions with key members of Donald Trump's cabinet with the intent of declaring him "unab...

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Trump's Gaffe: Would, Wouldn't, or Woodenhead?

A usually calm Mike Pompeo was sweating. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, usually a verbal giant, was at a loss for words. The secretary of State and the Press Secretary sat impatiently in the outer lobby of the Oval Office, awaiting for the President to call...

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Baseball's Next 300 Game Winner... Should Retire at 299

As major league baseball pauses for its annual All Star break, let's also pause to wonder who's the next 300 game winner, or will there ever be another one? My advice to the two pitchers closest to that mark - Bartolo Colon of the Rangers [245] an...

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Spoof Infiltrated by Russian Hackers?

Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller's investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election has uncovered evidence that another group of Russian hackers infiltrated the American section of The Spoof, the satire and fake news publica...

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Trump's Nominee for Supreme Court - Alabama's Roy Moore

The White House. 2 hours ago. President Donald Trump has chosen former Chief Justice of the Alabama State Supreme Court Roy Moore to replace retiring justice Anthony Kennedy, according to a reliable but anonymous source within the White House. The...

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Trump to Dam Golden Gate?

In what some Democrats see as a stunning reversal of his denial of global warming, President Donald Trump today announced the largest public works project in American history. If funding is approved by his Republican congress, work could start next y...

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1938: Trump meets Hitler at Munich: "Peace in our time"

Funny story: 1938: Trump meets Hitler at Munich: "Peace in our time"

MUNICH, GERMANY. Sept. 30, 1938. Standing on the tarmac at Munich International Airport early this morning, sleepy-eyed President Donald Trump waived a copy of the Munich Agreement to a group of reporters and declared: "Today is the beginning of an a...

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National League West Downgraded to Class AA

Cooperstown, NY. Sources close to the office of Commissioner of Baseball Rob Manfred have learned that he will soon announce that the West division of the National League has been ousted from Major League Baseball and sent down to the minors. For...

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Breaking news…

Trump's Brown People

Trump warns that the brown people are coming. That’s not as bad as the orange person.
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