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Tabloid anger over "murder" inquiry

Funny story: Tabloid anger over "murder" inquiry

British tabloid newspapers have been fuming this week over the story that police went to the trouble of investigating a burglar killed while breaking into a home. Career criminal Jeff Swag, 47, was stabbed to death by homeowner Geoffroy House as he t...

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England-Gibraltar colonial sporting jamboree begins

Funny story: England-Gibraltar colonial sporting jamboree begins

This week the second largest multi-disciplinary sporting event in the world began in Australia. To many it is just another fixture in the athletics calendar, but it is also a bizarre relic of how the British Empire tries to stay relevant in the moder...

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This latest beauty treatment is angering environmentalists, but will turn your friends green with envy

Funny story: This latest beauty treatment is angering environmentalists, but will turn your friends green with envy

It is the new beauty treatment that literally everyone wants. Have you ever dreamed of having perfect skin, with no moles, freckles or unsightly gob craters? Well now that dream is within reach with facial fracking. The procedure is simple - i...

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Vietnamese currency rockets - the dong is up

Funny story: Vietnamese currency rockets - the dong is up

For years it has been an underdeveloped backwater of south-east Asia, best known throughout much of the world for its devastating war against the US. Nevertheless, Vietnam is very much an up and coming country, particularly in an economic sense. Neve...

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Trump denies meddling in Russian election

Funny story: Trump denies meddling in Russian election

Russian President Putin has won another landslide election, bringing him another six years of power to add to the fourteen he has already enjoyed. However, some were sceptical about how the balding murdering former spy was able to manage such a feat.

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Trump calls for foetuses to be armed to prevent abortions

Funny story: Trump calls for foetuses to be armed to prevent abortions

President Donald Trump has made another policy announcement without consulting his advisors. It is an idea which tries to solve two key issues that Republicans are passionate about - guns and abortions. The US President said that a gun company in...

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Kajagoogoo reveal fears about economic effects of Brexit

Funny story: Kajagoogoo reveal fears about economic effects of Brexit

80s band Kajagoogoo have released their long-awaited assessment on the economic effects of Brexit, and how it will affect the band. The report was written by a set of academic experts and lead singer Limahl. The report concludes that Kajagoogoo w...

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Boris: "Brexit will be a success if only everyone who opposes it would shut up"

Funny story: Boris: "Brexit will be a success if only everyone who opposes it would shut up"

Minister for Malapropism and head clown Boris Johnson made a controversial speech today, in which he claimed that the success or failure of Brexit had nothing to do with his government's negotiations with the EU. Instead, he said, it rested entirely...

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Winter Olympics roundup

Funny story: Winter Olympics roundup

It's been non-stop excitement in South Korea as the Winter Olympics have gotten underway. Andorra have topped the medal table - as always - thanks to their entire population of snow-loving mountain inhabitants. The Winter Olympics was invented by an...

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Colleges clamp down on panty raids

Funny story: Colleges clamp down on panty raids

For decades they have been a staple of US college life, as American as apple pie. Many men who have gone on to achieve great things have attributed their success to the character building they gained through stealing girls' underwear during their hig...

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UK minister says the hardest part of Brexit negotiations is "not mentioning the war"

Funny story: UK minister says the hardest part of Brexit negotiations is "not mentioning the war"

David Davis, the Brexit minister, has given a frank and open interview to journalist Frank Open, and revealed some details about the process of extricating the UK from the EU. "It's very difficult," said Davis. "Barnier [chief negotiator for the E...

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Boris Johnson's speech to the EU in full

Funny story: Boris Johnson's speech to the EU in full

Today in Brussels, Boris Johnson made a long-awaited speech to the EU, setting out the terms of Brexit as he sees them. Here is the full unabridged text of his speech. "Good afterlunch, my fellow Euro-chumps and bureaucratinators. It has been eigh...

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Republicans suggest genocide could reduce tooth decay

Funny story: Republicans suggest genocide could reduce tooth decay

Washington DC. The Republican Party have announced their policies for the coming year, and most of them are the same as ever - cut taxes, cut spending, give money to the rich. However, one new policy has raised eyebrows. It is based on recent...

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Book reveals Trump's abnormal presidential lifestyle

Funny story: Book reveals Trump's abnormal presidential lifestyle

It is the book the President did not want to have released. "Trump: What a fucking moron!" is available in bookshops and in word-form on the internet this week. It was written by a White House insider and dishes the dirt on all of the orange haired l...

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Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

Funny story: Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

The UK government has announced a bold new plan for the North of England. Instead of adapting to a post-industrial world, it is to be abandoned and left for weeds and trees to come back. Prime Minister Theresa May explained the decision at a press...

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Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"

Funny story: Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"

Britain is leaving the EU, but that doesn't mean for a minute that it is going to disappear. It is going to hang around the EU and hover over their conversations like a ghost. Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted as much when she said that she wou...

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Trump's Jerusalem victory will turn the tide in the war on Christmas

Funny story: Trump's Jerusalem victory will turn the tide in the war on Christmas

The war on Christmas is eternal, and will only be won when Jesus Christ himself returns and everyone in the world is dead. Today that glorious day came a step closer when Donald Trump effectively reclaimed Jerusalem as the capital of Christianity, pr...

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Brexit is a "biscuit game" to the Tories

Funny story: Brexit is a "biscuit game" to the Tories

The UK government consists of many ex-public school toffs, so it comes as little surprise to learn that foreign secretary Boris Johnson believes that the Brexit negotiations are like "a game of soggy biscuit". He explained further, "the people ba...

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